First of all teaparty - having just lost the first World Series I ever had a team in, and never really being in it (4-1 but it wasn't that close), I can imagine how it must feel.
One thing I would say: you yourself see a pattern here: I think there are reasons that why teams with very high W-L records do not do that well in the postseason: some players work hard to develop strategies of drafting players of very high quality for say, 120 or so games, play AAA or 200K scrubs for 20, 30, even 40 or more games in a season, content to get the wildcard berth or narrowly win a division with the sort of 1973 Mets records you are describing.
Then come the playoffs, they have not just a well rested team, but one whose actual record when regulars are playing might be more like 70-30, or 80-40, while it went 10-30 or something with scrubs in. So it looks on paper like an 85 win team, but in fact is very formidable, sometimes with pitchers it did not even use in the regular season, keeping their 40 IP or so ready for the playoffs.
This may not be what has happened in the cases you describe: random luck plays a very big role and only evens out statistically over large sample sizes. But a team that won 130 games, while clearly very good, is not necessarily the best team in the league in a short series. After all, stretching, as it were, quality players over 130 wins may mean not concentrating their abilities as does a team based on say, 450 PA players hitting .340 and pitchers with 120 IP but un-hittable in short series. I am no good at all at this, which I think in a more extreme version was once called "The Fatigue Strategy" or "The Fatigue Team", before my time.
But I have learned that I need to set regulars down for a while, and while I try not to lose games and seek alternatives like decent spot starters, I know that the four teams I have had make the playoffs have done well almost in inverse relationship to their W-L in the regular season.
Still, it is frustrating, and I have only been at WIS for a few months. So after years it must be maddening. Best wishes for next time. Don't give up.