I presume that we're all playing this game based on some combination of having fun and trying to win a championship. Competition can be fun. You need the best possible players to win. And that's why coaches recruit vs. their conference. It's hard to win your conf if the other coach has the better players!
Every coach here has an idea on the best way to recruit for their team. Sometimes that means you spend your $ early on recruits, sometimes it is later. If you go early and then somebody comes later, then shame on you if you don't have enough $ in reserve to keep the player. You can't expect to call "dibs" and then have everybody abide, regardless of what conference they play. And based on geography, sometimes you have no choice but to battle your conf because you're stuck in the middle.
I was in a D2 conf that had plenty of battles and, over most of those seasons, it was the #1 or #2 RPI conf in D2 and had 10-12 active coaches per season. Even though there were battles, the coaches knew other ways to strengthen the conference. One of those is scheduling based on the strength of your team. If you have a top-25 program, then go ahead and play some non-conf games vs. top-25s. If you're a borderline NT team, don't play 10 road games vs. the top 25. And for the love of everything holy, don't play home games vs. Sims.
Bottom line, if you feel like you're getting poached, then you over extended your $ and were probably trying to be greedy. I know anytime that has happened to me, it was really my fault. As an example, I remember one D1 season where I easily could've had 2 5-star recruits while recruiting with a B+, tried to get 3 instead, then wound up with 1, and he was my #3 choice. And yes, guys in my conference took the other two and one of them became the all-time D1 scorer. But I've let that go...