This is not meant to be snarky at all - I'm trying to crowdsource a solution.
The head of the IRS office under investigation made a statement in Congress that contained, in some form or another, the phrases: "I did not break the law. I did nothing wrong."
She then pleaded the fifth, which is: "I refuse to answer on the grounds that it may incriminate me."
Since you can't incriminate yourself if you didn't break the law and you did nothing wrong, didn't she commit perjury? Doesn't one of those statements have to be false?