I'd change the story a bit. "I was walking in the woods when I saw a snake stalking a cute little bunny. I jumped into action to save the cute little bunny(you want to say this a lot). The snake struck but I managed to snatch the cute little bunny before the snake got him. Unfortunately, the snake got me. I ran 13 miles, still holding the cute little bunny, to the nearest emergency room. After 48 hours of tremendous pain, me and the cute little bunny are fine."
Sadly, you'll still be a fat, smelly canuck so you better have a cute little bunny if you want the chicks to even respond back to you.