All 3 of my HBD teams won their AM games today by shutout.

Is that a sign of the coming apocalypse?

What bumps will a pitcher get for a groin pull with the medical bug?

None worth having.    Health, speed, BR if I recall correctly.

My company has a strict "no smoking" policy on the premises.  We have a parking garage in the basement of the building for employees.

I recently saw a woman who works at my company get in her car as she was getting ready to leave at the end of the day, fire up a cigarette, and then start her car and leave the garage.

Did she violate company policy?

If she was in her car, I don't think so. 

who cares if she violated company policy besides tec? Does he even care?

The HR department might.   He may.    Could have been his side poon and he's afraid she'll be fired. 

Ironically, she works in HR.  And she's kind of skank.

How's your day going so far?

Sorry to hear your side poon is a skank.    My day started too early. 

Assuming all other stats are the same (let's use relievers for this example)

Which pitcher is better one with P1 :82 P2 : 77
Or one with. P1 :82 P2: 77 P3: 22

Or does it matter?

There's a point where a pitch is a negative and should be dropped.    I'm not sure where that point is for P3 put I'm almost certain it's above 22.

what does your formula say about this guy? http://whatifsports.com/HBD/Pages/Popups/PlayerProfile.aspx?pid=6134164
Am I wrong to expect him to have better stats than he does?

He's nothing special but should function as a 4/5 SP.  Which would make him around league average.

you sure you won't share your formula with me?