1/9/2013 1:03 AM
yay, I get share pun stories

so bad -- its funny

King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan.

Croesus said, "I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it."

"But I paid a million dinars for it," the King protested. "Don't you know who I am? I am the king!"

Croesus replied, "When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are."
1/9/2013 7:47 AM
Notre Dame vs Alabama  or Golden Domers vs Mobile Homers
1/9/2013 7:23 PM
OK - based on glaity play on words; Some of you may have heard . . .

A frog goes into a bank for a loan on a cool lilly pad he's been eyeing for awhile.
The loan officer, named Patty Black,  looks at his application and asks if he has any collateral, you know, valuables and such.
The frog says he has some valuables and the loan officer says to bring them back in so they can be appraised.

The frog returns the next day with a sack and dumps them on the loan officer's desk.
The loan officer dumps the sack onto the desk, revealing a marble, a silver star, a doll's head, a sea shell and other items.
The loan officers says that these items have no real value and can't be used as collateral.
The frog protests and the bank manager is summoned to the desk.
He stands and reveiws the frog's application and looks at the items on the desk.

He stands straight and proclaims to the loan officer - "These are nik-naks Patty Black, give the frog a loan! This one frog can buy a home!"


BOOOOOOO!
1/9/2013 9:06 PM
                                    "Groan" !!!    
Ok. My turn to dish out "Pun"ishment...
    Guy has severe case of flatulism(uncontrolled farting). And every time he farts it comes out sounding like "HONDA".
So he go's to the doc  who sends him to an oral surgeon. The surgeon does his surgery and cures the man.
The man says to the surgeon: " Doc, I am grateful you cured me . But how did the surgery have anything to do with my problem ?
Surgeon says: "What you had was an abscess. I removed the abscess. - Didn't you know that 'Abscess Makes The Fart Go Honda' ?!"
                                                                                                        

1/9/2013 9:57 PM
Two blondes walk into a building.  You'd think at least one of them would have seen it....

A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Saran Wrap for shorts.  The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the boat and it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
1/9/2013 10:13 PM
Posted by grindi on 1/15/2012 6:30:00 PM (view original):
If the Michigan cheerleaders and the Ohio State cheerleaders were stripped naked and put in the middle of the field, how could you tell the difference?  The Michigan ones would be the ones eating the grass.
Outstanding!!!
1/9/2013 11:37 PM
Q: What do you call it when you feed a stick of dynamite to a steer?
A: Abominable! (say it out loud, slowly)

A pirate walks into a bar and it appears that he has a steering wheel to a ship in front of his trousers. In fact, it looks like his willy is stuck through the center of it. The bartender says, "Hey pirate! You've got your willy stuck in a steering wheel!" The pirate replied, "Arrrr, I know! It drives me nuts!"

Have you heard about the crime in multi-story parking decks? It's just wrong on so many levels.
1/9/2013 11:40 PM
Posted by katzphang88 on 1/9/2013 7:23:00 PM (view original):
OK - based on glaity play on words; Some of you may have heard . . .

A frog goes into a bank for a loan on a cool lilly pad he's been eyeing for awhile.
The loan officer, named Patty Black,  looks at his application and asks if he has any collateral, you know, valuables and such.
The frog says he has some valuables and the loan officer says to bring them back in so they can be appraised.

The frog returns the next day with a sack and dumps them on the loan officer's desk.
The loan officer dumps the sack onto the desk, revealing a marble, a silver star, a doll's head, a sea shell and other items.
The loan officers says that these items have no real value and can't be used as collateral.
The frog protests and the bank manager is summoned to the desk.
He stands and reveiws the frog's application and looks at the items on the desk.

He stands straight and proclaims to the loan officer - "These are nik-naks Patty Black, give the frog a loan! This one frog can buy a home!"


BOOOOOOO!
booo indeed --- these are the best kind -- the absurd situation, the build up and the ultimate BOOOOOO moment of the pun-de-resitance
1/10/2013 12:41 AM
Even though I had your *** voted out of Survivor Caesari, I just want you to know that I think you are a invaluable asset to the GD community!
1/10/2013 10:23 AM
Posted by Arfy on 1/10/2013 12:41:00 AM (view original):
Even though I had your *** voted out of Survivor Caesari, I just want you to know that I think you are a invaluable asset to the GD community!
Wish I could say the same for you. :-P
1/10/2013 11:17 AM
You gonna let that slide Loren?
1/10/2013 2:24 PM
He's weak.
1/10/2013 5:16 PM
What does a 9 volt battery and a woman's ******* have in common????

You know you shouldn't, but one day you will stick your tounge to both of them....
1/10/2013 6:59 PM
 What do girls from West Virginia and Tiger Cubs have in common?

They both lick their paws(pa's)
1/10/2013 9:10 PM
How do you make a Polish woman pregnant ?
                You ejaculate in her shoes and let the flys do the rest    !   

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