All Forums > Hoops Dynasty Basketball > Hoops Dynasty > Hilarious recruit message
5/2/2014 12:34 PM
if you pay attention, there are still nuggets of funny stuff in the messages. for example(s) (emphasis added):

in the preseason all american message: "© CollegiateInsider.com. All Rights Reserved. Good luck trying to unsubscribe."
post season awards: "© CollegiateInsider.com. All Rights Reserved. We support SPAM." 
NBA draft coverage: "© CollegiateInsider.com. All Rights Reserved. Does anyone ever read this legal crap?"

i don't really send out player calls but i remember the responses were littered with humor.


5/2/2014 12:46 PM
Posted by Trentonjoe on 5/1/2014 9:22:00 PM (view original):
For ineligibles," Coach, I would love to come play for you but you need to mail directions or something. I don't know where Ohio is. Literally, like I couldn't find it on a map. You have seen my GPA right? It's low but my mom thinks I am special. In fact, my high school does as well."
this one is great. the only problem is that the grammar is MUCH better than the typical recruit response to letters (perhaps phone calls too). here are some letter responses:

"my moms says where XXXX is ain't no better than are trailer park. course, i says the parties and the hunnies there gotta be better than this. i'd love to ball for you, but we're gonna need to here and see more."
 
"Gettin your letter was sweet. But another school is digging me more. I here the alumni ain't cool with my record though. They stop showing me love and your next up."
 
"I really like what you been doin with your team. My boys say your real lax and let everybody do they own thing. That's cool with me, but other schools be hittin me up too, so I gotta know if that's true. Get at me."
 
"nice work. you ain't one of my top choices, but i heard some things about you i like. i hear you ain't strict and don't push too hard. thats cool cause i do my own thing and i can still score from anywhere. lets talk."
 
"Yeah, XXXX ain't bad, but it don't seem better than anything else either."
5/2/2014 3:59 PM
Posted by fd343ny on 5/2/2014 12:22:00 PM (view original):
one way WIS could improve the product would be to run a contest where people submit suggested NEW messages for various situations.  They would get lots of ideas - some good, some awful, some un-printable.  Give the best submission a free season.  I'd write some good messages for sure!
I'll take the unprintable ones then, now someone get the awful ones and we're golden!
5/2/2014 4:46 PM
Posted by gillispie1 on 5/2/2014 11:59:00 AM (view original):
Posted by killbatman on 5/2/2014 11:10:00 AM (view original):
I love the little bits of humor in the game.  Not a recruit message exactly, but I always appreciate this ast coach email about an injury..goes something like this.

Coach, I hate to break the bad news to you, but our best efforts couldn't save PlayerA..he died on the operating table last night.  No just kidding, I've always wanted to say that.  He's at about 95% with a mild ankle sprain.
i totally took my assistant at his word the first time i got that, without finishing reading, and was flipping out for a good 10 minutes before i realized the player was actually fine.
This was the very first injury message I ever got, the very first season I ever played, on a player with DUR = 4.  It was more like 10 seconds than 10 minutes but I did take it seriously for just a moment.
5/2/2014 5:16 PM
I like the collegiate insider part:

And what would the end of another college basketball season be without the normal arguments over who should be an All-American? If there was only some way to hypothetically match these teams and players up to see who would win and how they would do, that would answer all these 'what if?' debates. But, since there's nothing like that, here are the CollegiateInsider.com selections:

I also like those injury emails where it says the player is at 90% with a dislocated elbow or broken leg. "I don't think there's much risk if you play him". What a superman, shooting straight with a busted elbow.

Stuff I really hate... "Coach, I'd like to play for your school, if I knew more about it". I review the recruiting tab and he's been given 25 home visits and 15 campus visits. Then I realize he's ineligible and goes JUCO after $55k gets dumped on him.
5/3/2014 1:41 PM
Posted by kbc167 on 5/1/2014 11:47:00 PM (view original):
I once got a message from a recruit that was like 3 pages long (literally) going on and on about his trailer park and how his dad ran away with his aunt or something like that. It was CRAZY off the rails. I wish I saved it. I was laughing so hard. I've never seen it since and I have 6 teams so it must be a once in a thousand message they send out or something. I wonder how many of those "rare" messages are out there? You seasoned vets probably know the answer!
Okay, that sounds EPIC! I wish you still had it as well.
5/3/2014 1:47 PM
Posted by dedelman on 5/2/2014 4:46:00 PM (view original):
Posted by gillispie1 on 5/2/2014 11:59:00 AM (view original):
Posted by killbatman on 5/2/2014 11:10:00 AM (view original):
I love the little bits of humor in the game.  Not a recruit message exactly, but I always appreciate this ast coach email about an injury..goes something like this.

Coach, I hate to break the bad news to you, but our best efforts couldn't save PlayerA..he died on the operating table last night.  No just kidding, I've always wanted to say that.  He's at about 95% with a mild ankle sprain.
i totally took my assistant at his word the first time i got that, without finishing reading, and was flipping out for a good 10 minutes before i realized the player was actually fine.
This was the very first injury message I ever got, the very first season I ever played, on a player with DUR = 4.  It was more like 10 seconds than 10 minutes but I did take it seriously for just a moment.
Same here! It was my first injury ever, and I was like, "Crap, did the kid have a heart attack like Gathers or something?!?" Wanted to fire my trainer when I figured out the kid was still alive.
5/3/2014 9:04 PM
it was really late and i was pretty drunk when i first got that message like 6 years ago. i was sooooooooo ****** off! thats why it took me 10 minutes to figure out the guy was still on my team and perfectly fine :)
5/5/2014 3:22 PM
what this game really needs is the option to respond back to some of these emails. just for catharsis.
i had a player last season b*tching about minutes, whining about how I didn't love him and that he would just leave for another school (he hasn't, because no one would take him anyway), and I desperately wanted to send him a "don't let the door hit you on the way out" response. All I got to do was bench the sorry turd for the rest of the season. Which was okay.

if they had this, I'd play this game just for the amusement factor, hoops be damned. it'd also make sucking a lot easier.

5/5/2014 3:37 PM
Posted by sublightd on 5/2/2014 5:16:00 PM (view original):
I like the collegiate insider part:

And what would the end of another college basketball season be without the normal arguments over who should be an All-American? If there was only some way to hypothetically match these teams and players up to see who would win and how they would do, that would answer all these 'what if?' debates. But, since there's nothing like that, here are the CollegiateInsider.com selections:

I also like those injury emails where it says the player is at 90% with a dislocated elbow or broken leg. "I don't think there's much risk if you play him". What a superman, shooting straight with a busted elbow.

Stuff I really hate... "Coach, I'd like to play for your school, if I knew more about it". I review the recruiting tab and he's been given 25 home visits and 15 campus visits. Then I realize he's ineligible and goes JUCO after $55k gets dumped on him.
I was reading a box score where a player of mine got injured and it basically said his finger was pointing the complete wrong direction, he came back for the second half.
5/5/2014 3:42 PM
Posted by wildcat98 on 5/3/2014 1:41:00 PM (view original):
Posted by kbc167 on 5/1/2014 11:47:00 PM (view original):
I once got a message from a recruit that was like 3 pages long (literally) going on and on about his trailer park and how his dad ran away with his aunt or something like that. It was CRAZY off the rails. I wish I saved it. I was laughing so hard. I've never seen it since and I have 6 teams so it must be a once in a thousand message they send out or something. I wonder how many of those "rare" messages are out there? You seasoned vets probably know the answer!
Okay, that sounds EPIC! I wish you still had it as well.
there is about 1 forum thread every 3-6 months since the beginning of time, which has it in there. occasionally you get 2 or 3 in a week! its usually titled something like crazy phone call response, or crazy recruit response, etc... im sure a diligent searcher could find it :)
5/5/2014 3:59 PM
Posted by gillispie1 on 5/5/2014 3:42:00 PM (view original):
Posted by wildcat98 on 5/3/2014 1:41:00 PM (view original):
Posted by kbc167 on 5/1/2014 11:47:00 PM (view original):
I once got a message from a recruit that was like 3 pages long (literally) going on and on about his trailer park and how his dad ran away with his aunt or something like that. It was CRAZY off the rails. I wish I saved it. I was laughing so hard. I've never seen it since and I have 6 teams so it must be a once in a thousand message they send out or something. I wonder how many of those "rare" messages are out there? You seasoned vets probably know the answer!
Okay, that sounds EPIC! I wish you still had it as well.
there is about 1 forum thread every 3-6 months since the beginning of time, which has it in there. occasionally you get 2 or 3 in a week! its usually titled something like crazy phone call response, or crazy recruit response, etc... im sure a diligent searcher could find it :)
Is it the SH-Bang one?
5/6/2014 6:02 AM
this is my favorite so far. I about died.


"Since I was a young child, it has been my dream to play at Nebraska Wesleyan. Thanks for writing me."

I just love recruiting players who dream big in their youth. Oh yeah, the player's like from South Dakota, well within the reach of the basketball empire of the Pioneers.
5/7/2014 11:37 AM
5/7/2014 12:21 PM
I think I remember that some of the high school coaches in the Scranton, PA, area have names like Dwight Schrute and Michael Scott. That The Office is the pop culture reference shows how frequently they're updated.
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