OK, I wasn't going to mention it but, since you said this "Teccywerger running around in all his infinite wisdom, the venerable veteran, with three teams all with losing records and zero championships in his many years of really cracking down and learning the game", you opened yourself up to it.
You have finished .500, exactly .500, one time and have a .442 winning percentage. If you know all you need to know, why aren't you kicking *** and taking names?