this just in from FOXNEWS...
for the past two months, fox affliates from the southwestern parts of ohio and southeastern parts of indiana have been receiving encypted messages from an unknown source requesting assistance from the u.s. military and/or NASA (houston).
the identity of the person sending these messages remains unknown at the time. what is known, the messages for help have been delivered on a frequency band never before used nor seen. this “high-green” light transmission often disrupts the sensitive, optic fiber networking in the fox affiliate mainframe computers.
after unsuccessful attempts at trying to restore some of the programs affected by these high-green transmissions, the Cincinnati fox affiliate called in a graduate student team of computer science majors from neighboring miami university to try and sort through the maze of cables and input data to locate the precise nature of the problem.
after 36 hours of analyzing algorithms and random occurring outliers, they have isolated and decoded one of the high-green transmissions embedded into the system. an unknown “bot” or, what is known as a “virus” has made its way from the RAM (random access memory) area and is infecting the integrity of the fox affiliate’s entire computing system.
one of the students from miami university located the senders name from an unread high-green transmission. the message, after 4.5 hours of decoding, stated: been abducted by aliens! send NASA to sector 12, quadrant 3-b, 2 degrees vertical. this is, ******!