by who?

I'd do Divya Kitdare.

Hank Lawson makes some bad choices

I've written a short story I'd like to share.

i am excited to read it.

does it have a leprechaun?

Noes. It's a drama comedy something.

Evan R Lawson makes worse decisions.

PHONE TAG - by DougOut

Ring  Ring  Ring

OBAMA:  Uhhhhh Hello. Ahhhhhhhhhhh this is the President of the United States speaking.

BOBBY:  Hello Mr. President. This is Bobby Jindal, Governor of Louisiana. 

OBAMA:  Ummmm,  Bobby who?

BOBBY:  Jindal sir. Governor of the state of  Louisiana.

OBAMA:  Hmmmmm. There are uhhhhh so many of you. I...I...get you guys mixed up. Fifty-seven is alot of states to keep track of.

BOBBY:  How can I explain....I'm....O.K.  Here it is. I'm the only Republican Governor with darker skin than you.

OBAMA:  Oh yeah!  Bobby. What can I do for you Bobby?

BOBBY:  Well Mr. President, as you well know, we have had all this oil spewing into the Gulf for the past few days.

OBAMA:  My team and I are on top of it. I am focused on the problem like a laser.

BOBBY:  I thought that was jobs, Mr. President.

OBAMA:  Ahhhhhhh......I have two laser eyes Bobby.  One is focused on jobs and the other on this oil thingy.

BOBBY:  Yes sir. I know you are doing everything in your power to attack the problem. You've probably spoken to the CEO of B.P. several times by now.

OBAMA:  Uhhhhhhh...............sure.

BOBBY:  And we here in Louisiana have also been active. We have the machinery in place right now to nip this thing in the bud.  We have over 200 ships available to us to siphon the oil from the surface, a manufacturer capable of producing 90 miles of boom per day, equipment to build some berms and some very exciting and promising new technology which has been brought to our attention. We need your help to get things moving along.

OBAMA:  Bobby .....is it?  Bobby, I'm gonna hand you over to my right hand man. My number one gun. He'll take care of you. I'm gonna put you on hold.

BOBBY:  Thank you sir.

BIDEN:  HELLO!  THIS IS JOE BIDEN, VICE-PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.

BOBBY:  Hello Mr. Vice-President. This is Bobby Jindal, Governor of Louisiana.

BIDEN:  WHAT THE ****!  BOBBY!  BOBBY FUCKIN JINDAL!  LONG TIME NO FUCKIN SEE.  WHAT THE **** IS UP?

BOBBY:  Well sir, as you know we have this problem with oil leaking into the Gulf.......

BIDEN:  I KNOW!  THIS IS ******* BIG!

BOBBY:  Yes sir. The President told me to talk to you about getting some equipment down here and building some berms.

BIDEN:  FUCKIN-A.  SOUNDS GOOD TO ME BOBBY. THE ONLY ******* THING IS YOU GOT YOUR FUCKIN APPLES FUCKIN WITH YOUR FUCKIN ORANGES THERE. FUCKIN EQUIPMENT IS ONE ******* THING. BERMS IS A FUCKIN NOTHER. I'LL PUT YOU OVER TO CAROL FUCKIN BROWNER. SHE'S THE ******* ENERGY AND ENVIROMENTAL CZAR.
 
BOBBY:  Thank you sir.

BIDEN:  NO ******* PROBLEM. THIS IS ******* BIG!

BROWNER:  Hello. This is Carol Browner, Energy and Enviromental Czar. How may I help you?

BOBBY:  Hello Carol. I'm Bobby Jindal, Governor of the State of Louisiana. As you know, each day that passes is another day the massive oil slick developing off of our coast gets closer. We have a plan to build 10 berms located strategically across our coastline to protect our estuary. This in conjunction with booms and ships and some exciting new technology, we believe, will be enough to protect our shores.  We have the people to get the job done. Of course we'll accept federal help, but we here in the state are capable to stave it off until a solution is found. We need your help.

BROWNER:  Do you have any Bog Turtles?

BOBBY:  Huh?

BROWNER:  Bog Turtles. You can't dig anything up within 20 miles of the last siteing.  How about whales?  Got any of them?  Where are you getting the sand to build these berms?  Are there fish and bugs and things nearby?  Have you filed for a permit?  You need to get on the ball Bobby. File your permits then we'll look at them and later we'll send some people down to do an impact study and we'll go from there. How does November sound?  In the mean time we'll split the difference. You want 10 berms. You can have one and that's because I like you. Keep it about the size of football field.  I can't do anything about the equipment. You need to talk to the Union guy. I'll put you over to Paul Volker.

BOBBY:  But...but....but....

VOLCKER:  Volker here. How can I do ya?

BOBBY:  Mr. Volcker!  This is Bobby Jindal, Governor of Louisiana.  

VOLCKER:  I know all about your problem Bobby. What do you need?

BOBBY:  I need 200 ships leased to the state and some boom and some new stuff some guys have invented to suck up oil.

VOLCKER:  Bobby. Work with me. You got a card?

BOBBY:  What?

VOLCKER:  A union card dummy. You need one. What about these ships?  They union ships?  These boom guys, they go union yet? Can you get these techno geeks to go union. Work with me Bobby. Work with me. You need to get on the horn and call these slugs up. You scratch my back...see. Tell them they gotta pay union wage with union benefits and send the dues to me. You savvy?

BOBBY:  I must tell you sir, I am devestated.  I suppose I can call these people but I'm losing faith in our Democracy.

VOLCKER:  Democracy!  HA!  It's a bureaucracy kid, and I know how to work it. Tell ya what I'll do.  You get on the horn with your buddies. Meanwhile, I'll put you in touch with Mr. Big.

BOBBY:  Mr Big?

VOLCKER:  Yeah. Mr. Big. He's the only guy that can help you. I've been giving him big money for over 10 years. He owes me big. You can't get anything done without him. He'll take care of you. Now scram.

BOBBY:  Yes sir. Thank you sir.

OBAMA:  Uhhhhh Hello.  Ahhhhhhhhh this is the President of the United States speaking. 

BOBBY:  Mr President?  Mr. President, this is Bobby Jindal, Governor of the State of Louisiana........

OBAMA:  Bobby who?



                                                                                                                             THE END

Will there be a death?

eventually

i got bored when you introduced the chick.

it happens.

she wasnt convincing