The winning essay
Why Arfy poses the biggest threat to our way of life.
A short essay by Ahrens
When somebody’s most famous quote is: “Hide yo kids, hide yo wife and hide yo husbands too, because I am about to facerape them. Especially the children, I’m going to facerape them good.” (Arfy, many, many times, most recently yesterday). You know that our way of life is ending, and very soon. Especially with Chris Hanson cockblocking only people who use chat rooms, Arfy is allowed to facerape all over message boards and nobody is there to stop him. And the trickiest part, his name is a girls’ name! Nobody is even expecting LOREN to do anything like this, and he tricks them and bam, somebody’s face is pregnant. Unless it’s a child, then it’s shame and regret (for the child, not for Arfy). It’s a damn shame that this inappropriately named man is ruining life as we know with his inappropriate face actions.