Kingston Crooks MLD Team Thread Topic

Franchise Info
GM and Coach: Onekrazypuck
Team Arena: The Kingston Pen Pond (Max Capacity 12500)
Team Colours: Black/White
Team Mascots: Crooked Elvis and The Crookettes
Farm Team: Ottawa Scammers
Franchise Player: TBA
Hnat Miikulainen
Christian Halmeenmaki
Jack Itov
Maxime Gagnon
Right Wing
Nolan Haapalainen
Rem Pitkalampi
Moose Tamsi
Les Golmorblood
Sparky Wall
Jermine Sweese Jr
Ted Romans
Jude Brandt
Hannu Spack
Puffin Green
Zach Hawco
Jay Walker
Walt Multamaa
Murdo Pajunpaa
Seth Nurmenheimo
Jake Sanjola
Claudio Ojaluoma
Herb Blazer
Colin Decops
Slap Dataz
Dexter Morgan
Tommy Chong
Cheech Marin
Ron Buttersworth
Luca Phoparole
Robin Banks
1/17/2007 5:27 PM

Crooked Elvis Repulsive and akward, he aims to distract the other team
Thoughts on other MLD teams: (Coming soon!)
Roswell Aliens - You Aliens are gonna get probed with a goaliestick!
Halifax Mooseheads - Moose are dangerous animals on the road, Mooseheads are roadkill!
Anoka Tornados - We're tornado chasers except when we catch them, we wrestle them to the ice!
Chilliwack Bruins - Man, this chilli is wack! And we're gonna Chilliwack your team up and down and all over the ice!
Yorkton Millers - Oh man, perhaps we should ice the Crookettes instead of the Crooks to at least give you a chance!
Beaverdale Bangers - We're gonna bang your team around harder than any beaver has been banged since the begininng of banging!
Winnipeg Jets - Its a good thing you're the "Jets", cuz when we humiliate your team, yer gonna wanna "jet" outta there in a hurry!
Intercourse Dutchmen - Not gonna have intercourse with the Dutchmen, but we do plan to rip them open and pound the hell outta them!
Brewster Bears - Just what the Crooks' dressing room needs, some bear rugs!
Henderson Hornets - We're gonna be the ones swarming you and we're gonna destroy your nest in the process!
Combermere Cay - Its somber here cuz Combermere is getting hit with an army here!
Prince of Wales Conference

Gotham City Knights -We're coming to town, taking you down, and leaving with Vicky Vale!
Valhalla Vikings - We thought vikings were long gone, guess we'll have to exterminate these few last ones.
Wyandotte Hurons - Inmate #31234222 has an awesome recipe for hurons
Yorba Linda Yowlers - Don't blame us when you discover your previous MLD cups are gone after we play in your building.
Indianapolis Racers - We're gonna erase the "Racers", maybe put them in a turtle race or something.
Okanagan Ogopogoes - Your team's initials is also the amount of goals you will score against the Crooks this season! OO
Pontiac Firebirds - Get ready cuz we're gonna fire these Firebirds out of a cannon after we skate all over them!
Hernando Hit Men - We can take a hit with ease and give you a hit that will osify you hours.
Encinitas Blades - Your team might need to have its blades sharpened!
Helsinki Lions - The Crooks world tour, coming soon to a shady arena near you.
NY Pussycats - You think having a cute name will spare you from the beating you're team will get? Think again!
Maricopa Wildcats - Say what?
The Crookettes
Dawn The snobby rich ***** who can smell yer wallet a mile away. The biggest tease that there ever was!
Angelica The Gothic Goddess who will scare your team into losing. Rumoured to dabble in witchcraft to curse opposing teams.
Mandy The long legged bimbo/slut who makes sure the other team's players use up all their energy before gametime.
MollyThe tough punkrock girl who isn't afraid to kick some ***. She makes her own rules and sometimes has to be restrained from charging the ice surface.
Skyler The teen prom queen who will do anything just to be the most popular.
HeatherThe sweet Swede who is way out of your league and won't even give you the time of day.
1/17/2007 6:20 PM
Player Profiles (as of the end of season 3)
Blair Potts ~ Blair has been the Crooks' #1 centerman since opening day. He's a grizzled veteran who is known more for scoring than his playmaking skills. He's also known to score some big goals in clutch situations. Though his goal and overall point production has been dropping ever since his 50 goal performance in Season 1, he has managed to finish every season with an impressive positive +/- rating. He's a fan favourite in Kingston and many refer to him as the heart of the Crooks.
Career 240 GP, 120 G, 66 A, 186 PTS, +74, 8 PIM, 3(3) seasons
Crook since season 1
German Astrom ~ German quietly came to town at the start of season 3. In his rookie season, he had a few great games. Unfortunately for the Crooks, he's mostly been mediocre at best. He's often been accused of not being tough enough to make it in Kingston due to his habit dodging the physical aspects of the game. Management hopes he can prove his critics wrong as they've planned on this youngster filling the skates of some of the older Crook centermen.
Career 47 GP, 6 G, 12 A, 18 PTS, -7, 0 PIM, 1(1) seasons
Crook since season 3
Hnat Miikulainen ~ Hnat is a very misunderstood player who as an original Crook player has been in both the good and bad books with the Kingston staff. Hnat has an ego that would make Donald Trump green with envy. It all started on the opening day of training camp back in season 1 when he demanded his coach play him. The coach wanting to make an example basically benched him most of the season. Hnat learned his lesson and was rewarded with ice time in season 2. But midway through, Hnat's true colour began to show as he demanded to be the team's "Franchise Player". Management has decided to bench him ever since. If he can learn to be a team player, he could be a diamond in the rough that the Crooks need.
Career 64 GP, 20 G, 11 A, 31 PTS, -13, 6 PIM, 3(1) seasons
Crook since season 1
Marco Olander ~ New to the Crooks, only time will tell how Marco, an ancient 24 year old can cope with the game. He's already the subject of trade rumours.
Career 0 GP, 0 G, 0 A, 0 PTS, E, 0 PIM, 0(0) seasons
Crook since season 4
Shjon Sianjalka ~ Shjon's Profile coming soon
Christian Halmeenmaki ~ Christian's Profile coming soon
Right Wing
Yannick Goulet ~ As soon as season 1 began, Yannick "The Panic" Goulet exploded out of the gate and made sure every Kingston fan knew that this was HIS team. In the MLD's offensively potent season 1, Yannick soared above the entire league and scored a mind boggling 81 goals in 82 games which was tied for the most in the league. Unfortunately for the Crooks and Goulet, the award voters decided against awarding the Maurice "Rocket" Richard Trophy for most goals in a season to co-winners. Yorba Linda's Markus Levy got the hardware in a controversial decision and Goulet got nothing. An event that soured the Crooks relationship with the Award Voters and also caused Goulet to lose his focus a little. His passion seems to have waived but Kingston still places their faith in him electing him as their Franchise Player. A position which will likely see him paste his name all over the Kinston record books. The league's record books are also within reach as Goulet's 153 goals in just 246 games are no doubt amongst the most any player has totaled in the MLD. Management hopes he can regain his spark and tear it up like he used to but he's looking more worn out with each passing season.
Career 246 GP, 155 G, 68 A, 223 PTS, +51, 22 PIM, 3(3) seasons
Crook since season 1
Season 182812410581-2631725.655.822:43:26
Season 2825025755038829916.750.322:55:43
Season 3822219412115819511.352.721:46:42
Season 482151126103413211.450.621:16:08
Season 579151025201611413.242.820:25:14
Ryan Saccoccia ~ Ryan is as stable and as consistent as they come. He's the only Crook player so far who can boast the feat of 3 consecutive 30 goals or more seasons. He's often credited his success to a training program so intense that it would bring most MLDers to their knees in defeat. What Ryan lacks in skill, he makes up for with his hardwork and uncanny ability to fill up opponents nets. His defensive game is a little shaky, but management doesn't seem to mind as long as he keeps lighting up goal lights. Ryan is closing in on 100 career goals and is expected to tally another 100 before he calls it a career.
Career 245 GP, 98 G, 88 A, 186 PTS, +7, 8 PIM, 3(3) seasons
Crook since season 1
Rolly McPhatty ~ Rolly is one big cloud of mystery. Many had high hopes for this blazing winger but those hopes soon turned to ash once season 1 came and went. It was expected Rolly was going to roll his way to higher plateaus in season 2 until he mysteriously vanished like a puff of smoke early in the season! He surfaced at the end of season 2 looking very scruffy, scrawny, and with a foggy memory inisting that he didn't want to discuss where he had been all that time. Rumour has it he moved to Amsterdam but that information has never been confirmed. Management decided to be generous and give McPhatty another chance by throwing him back into the lineup in hope he will light it up. Also, there is nobody who can take a hit like Rolly, who can take hits all night long and not feel a thing the next morning. The only question is whether or not McPhatty is here to stay, or he will disappear for another season.
Career 169 GP, 55 G, 60 A, 115 PTS, +58, 14 PIM, 3(2) seasons
Crook since season 1
Larry Jagger ~ Larry is more famous for being the son of a legendary rockstar than an athlete. Larry wanted so badly to escape his father's shadow and hoped he could one day do it by becoming household name in the sports world. That day has yet to come as Mick's boy has struggled to solidify his status within the Crooks organization. Instead of being a key player or superstar, he finds himself labelled as just an average player whose on-ice presense is rarely felt. Larry's struggles prove "you can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need". What Larry needs to do is forget about topping his father, or else he'll see his MLD career get painted black. And there is no satisfaction in that.
Career 164 GP, 34 G, 69 A, 103 PTS, -6, 56 PIM, 3(3) seasons
Crook since season 1
Nolan Haapalainen ~ The future of Crooks could rest on this #1 draft pick's shoulders. This speedster possesses the speed and creativity to become a star in the MLD. The Crooks have high hopes and expectations for this kid with the lightning hands. Look for him to be given lots of ice time IF he can points on the board.
Career 0 GP, 0 G, 0 A, 0 PTS, E, 0 PIM, 0(0) seasons
Crook since season 4
Bates (jon) Nyyrola ~ Bates' Profile coming soon
D.J. Sianjalka ~ D.J's Prolfile coming soon
Rem Pitkalampi ~ Rem's Profile coming soon
Scot Simontaial ~ Scot's Profile coming soon
Pep Valta ~ Pep was destined to be a superstar. His name was mentioned in the early goings of the MLD as the top rated player. Though he hasn't his mark in the record books, he has been very dominate. His skills continue to develop and he is due for a breakthrough season. Pep is rumoured to be having a fling with one of the Crookettes(Mandy). Lets hope she doesn't give him a bad case of the gonorrhoea like she did to everyone else! Valta's got the accuracy and the skating that'll make yer head spin.
Career 246 GP, 66 G, 132 A, 198 PTS, +75, 36 PIM, 3(3) seasons
Crook since season 1
John Hawco ~ John is a grinder. A hard working LW who sadly won't see much more time in Kingston. But he has gone on the record and said that he can't wait to retire, even if its an early one. There had been high hopes for him on the team 3 seasons ago but hes slid into an average joe role instead.
It is doubtful that John will be back with the Crooks after this season's contract for him expires.
Myles Vuorenkukka
Ted Romans
Jude Brandt
Buzz Nasarief
Walt Multamaa
Steve Sabourin
Kerry Trask
Murdo Pajunpaa
Kip Ulvila
Guyle Vola
Rich Venetpalo
Hib Talanen
Seth Nurmenheimo
Darwin Helomaa
Jake Sanjola
Lin Sokoloff
Tyrez Parkka
Juan Potvin
Ron Kaltio
1/18/2007 6:53 PM
(Yr13) MLD Champions
(RW) Nolan Haalpalainen - Bill Masterton Memorial Trophy (Qualities of Perseverance and Sportsmanship)
(RW) Rolly McPhatty - Hart Memorial Trophy (Most Valuable Player)
(D) Darwin Helomaa - James Norris Trophy (Best Defenseman)
(G) Tyrez Parkka - Vezina Trophy (Best Goalie)
(D) Steve Sabourin - King Clancy Memorial Trophy (Leadership and Humanitarian Contribution)
1/21/2007 8:53 PM
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1/21/2007 8:54 PM
11/14/07 - Off season, coming off a very successful Yr7 in which 3 Crooks took home silverware in the form of the Hart(Rolly McPhatty), the Norris(Darwin Helomaa), and the Vezina(Tyrez Parkka). Expect the Crooks to pull off a deal in the next day or so to land some added toughness as it appears Bates Nyyrola's days as a dirty player are over. Overall, going into Yr8, management expectations are very high as a log-jam begins to form at "old" end of the Crooks' roster. In a few seasons, the turnover of talent will be massive and frequent. Another highlight in Yr7, the Crooks were able to accomplish another unique feat as they led the league in goals for with 232 while also leading the league in PIM with 415.
1/28/07 (pm) - A successful sweep of their division got wiped out with a crushing loss to the Aliens. Kingston then pulled off a blockbuster ZZ deal sending (C) Ziggy Beers and (D) Zarley Sakari to Roswell for (D) Hib Talanen and (D) Rob Visakoivu. Talanen makes the Crooks a tougher team immediately and is expecting to see lots of icetime. We expect suspensions and will be happy to do our time. Rob "The Robber" Visakoivu will have to step it up to prove he is a keeper.
The franchise would especially like to wish Ziggy Beers luck as he was one of a kind fan favorite in Kingston.
Rumour has it awol Crooks goalie Juan Potvin has in fact returned and may make a surprise start in coming days. Juan as you may all remember has an incredible saving ability, but he tires about about 5-10 minutes into the game. We only hope he has solved his problem.
1/26/07 (pm) - Well so much for happy times in Kingston as the Crooks are officially slumping. Interconference scheduling was not kind to them as they skated to an ugly 1-4-1 record vs POWers. There is hope that now that their back to face CCC opponents, the Crooks can bust out!
The biggest story continues to be the lack of offense. And its being felt by not only Kingston, but across the whole MLD. Some fans speculate its goalies equipment, while others accuse Dmen of looking suspiciously bulky.
What ever it is, the Crooks went 2 games without a goal as of this article.
1/23/07 (pm) - The Crooks are on a roll! Led by insanely unbelieveable goaltending of Tyrez Parkka, who has 5 shutouts already this season! He' got 8 W's in 10 games, so who know what glory awaits this red hot Crooks squad.
"I'm seeing the puck really well uh ever since uh I had the laser eye surgury in the offseason." said Parkka. Makes me wanna get the name of his eye doctor!
Also helping the Crooks kick some *** are the twin towers of Kingston, Walt and Steve on the D. These two have been paired up for the longest time with great success. With both crediting the other for their outstanding twoway plays. Who really cares when the dup lead the team in scoring.
In league news, there are reports that the league is considering making adjustmeants to the goalie's equipment in hopes it'll beef up the scoring. Goalie equipment has become a bit of a problem for the MLD with offense sinking to an all time low! But with the Crooks sailing away as they have been doing, what if it messes up my teams mojo?!? Oh well so be it. The Crooks are the best team in the MLD no matter what happens.
Missing person! If anyone has seen the old version of Kingston's FP Yannick Goulet, could you send him back to the team as we really do miss him. He plays but he is virtually the best of times!
1/21/2007 8:56 PM
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8/19/2007 11:57 AM
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3/26/2008 11:43 PM
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3/26/2008 11:43 PM
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3/26/2008 11:43 PM
Kruger and Golmorblood speaking with media prior to game night
3/26/2008 11:44 PM
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6/10/2008 11:29 PM
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11/2/2008 10:13 AM

January 5th, 2009.
(Tank Heavens - AP)

Today the Kingston Crooks did something no one outside the Kingston Crooks organization thought they would ever do. They did the unthinkable and captured their 1st ever MLD Cup.

Prior to this season, Yr13, Kingston had never ventured past the 2nd round of the playoffs, leaving many to doubt and wonder if this team lacked the guts, determination and will to win a championship. This season, they proved they had what it takes and they did so by knocking off the Maricopa Wildcats in game 6 of Yr13's MLD Finals.

Last season, Yr12, was one of the worst for Kingston as they finished dead last in the league. Fans were understandably upset and called for the resignation of Kingston's coach/GM okp. Rather than resign and give into the pressure that was surrounding the historic franchise, GM "okp" did the unthinkable and announced that the team would be icing a noticeably different team the next season.

The coach went on record and told the media that the rough and tough style the Crooks are reknowned and famous for would be no more. The media, having heard these "promises" before brushed off the coach's comments as being part of the usual lip service offered up by Kingston management.

The media grew even more doubtful of Kingston's plans to concentrate on goals instead of goons when the GM opted to select the son of an infamous MLD Goon as the 1st overall draft pick in the Yr12-13 draft. Jermaine Sweese Jr came into the league looking every bit as tough as his old man, Jermaine Sweese, who holds the record for most career PIM (1060)in the MLD.

Despite the Sweese Jr acquisition, this time, Coach okp would keep his word as many of the tougher Crooks found themselves either riding the bench or out of a job altogether. Tough guys like Sparky Wall, Moose Tamsi, and Les Golmorblood seemed to fit nicely into their part time roles. Fan favorite tough guy Hannibal Krueger was cut in the offseason and took up a position in the scouting department. Another toughguy Crook Rob Nokimaki was not happy with the coach's decision to ice a less aggressive team and made no attempt to hide his displeasure with the team's direction. This prompted the Crooks to deal Nokimaki to the Pontiac Firebirds in exchange for the talented veteran Maxime Gagnon. Upon his arrival in Pontiac, Nokimaki was still bitter at the way Kingston handled him and lashed out at the Kingston organization. One can only wonder how he must feel seeing his former team win a championship.

There are a few other interesting side stories to the historic MLD Cup win for the Kingston Crooks.

~ The MLD's co-record holder for most goals in a regular season(81 in Yr1) RW Yannick Goulet finished his HoF-worthy career with a championship as his 9 seasons as the team's FP is complete.

~ (C) Jack Itov led the Crooks in shots and scoring for the 3rd consecutive season finishing with a career high 29 goals, 2nd best amongst the league. Jack also scored 2 goals in the final game, including the OT game winner in the 2-1 victory over the Maricopa Wildcats of the MLD Cup clinching game 6.

~ Goalie Ron Buttersworth, in his 1st season as the #1 goalie, single handedly carries Kingston through the early part of the season going 9-0 to start the season. He would struggle at times but ultimately would end up with the most wins of any MLD goalie this season with 37. He just missed out on the Vezina finshing 3rd in the voting.

~ Retirement bound Defenseman Dale Packard, whom the Crooks acquired for prospect Jonny Fairplay, in a trade deadline acquisition from the mathematically eliminated Intercourse Dutchmen turned out to be a perfect fit. The Dutchmen were more than happy to give Dale one last shot at getting his name on the MLD Cup and Kingston really was a great fit for the defensive minded d-man. Despite a few injuries, Dale was able to provide a great deal of leadership on and off the ice. His MLD career ends on a high note.

~ Rookie goalie Robin Banks saw very limited action during the regular season. When he did play, his performance impressed the coach so much so that when the Crooks' #1 goalie Buttersworth had a rough outing in the 2nd game of the playoffs, the coach opted to give Robin a rare playoff start. Robin responded by shutting out the Bangers and the coach never looked back, electing to start Banks in every playoff game.

~ Longtime Kingston Crooks' vets Walt Multamaa and Hnat Miikkulainen, who have been on the team since day 1 back in Yr 1 finally saw their dreams come true with an MLD Cup win.

And now, its time to proudly introduce the roster of your Yr13 MLD Champion Kingston Crooks :)

(C) German Astrom
(G) Robin Banks
(D) Herb Blazer
(LW) Jude Brandt
(G) Ron Buttersworth
(D) Tommy Chong
(D) Slap Dataz
(D) Colin Decops
(C) Maxime Gagnon
(RW) Les Golmorblood
(RW) Yannick Goulet (FP)
(RW) Nolan Haapalainen
(C) Christian Halmeenmaki
(LW) Zach Hawco
(LW) Puffin Green
(C) Jack Itov
(C) Molly Manson
(D) Cheech Marin
(C) Hnat Miikkulainen
(D) Dexter Morgan
(D) Walt Multamaa
(D) Seth Nurmenheimo
(D) Claudio Ojaluoma
(C) Marco Olander
(D) Dale Packard
(G) Luca Phoparole
(RW) Rem Pitkalampi
(D) Murdo Pujunpaa
(LW) Ted Romans
(D) Jake Sanjola
(LW) Hannu Spack
(RW) Jermaine Sweese Jr
(RW) Moose Tamsi
(RW) Sparky Wall
(LW) Jay Walker
1/5/2009 1:38 PM
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1/7/2009 10:50 AM
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Kingston Crooks MLD Team Thread Topic

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