A quick word on HWMNBN.
The last few years have left us a far humbler man. We lost our wife to cancer, lost our best friend to a heart attack, lost our business, exhausted our savings, sold our home, lost contact with our oldest son and took a job far below our skills just so we could pay the bills. You don’t go through that sort of change in a relatively short period of time without taking stock of your life. And take it from us, life is too short. Too short for regrets, too short to say "maybe some day", too short to hold grudges.
So, after lots of soul searching and perspective, we have come to terms with HWMNBN.
And our terms are these: lock up the lying, cheating, misogynistic, cheap ***, slap hitting, shameless, alleged human being and throw away the freakin’ key!
If anything, we are more vehemently opposed to the existence of the bowl cut bane of Queen City than we’ve ever been before. This self-styled hustler with delusions of adequacy, this self-made man who worships his creator, this self-pitying sycophant who uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp posts, for support rather than illumination, this self-aggrandizing aggravator who wouldn’t know humility and remorse if they crawled up his now considerable *** and set up house, this is an animal that needs to be kept locked away from decent people, not enshrined in a Hall of Fame. We’re no big fan of Bud Selig, but give the man credit for one thing: he knows how to hold a grudge and, trust us, we know from grudges. God bless Bud and God help whoever keeps, protects, drafts, fields or otherwise even contemplates the use of this useless piece of human refuse, for the horrors and indignities that lie in wait for you will make our last few years look like a Sunday stroll around the bases.
As always, you’ve been warned.
Oh, and by the way, our insincere thanks to the one of you who sent us the autographed copy of My Prison Without Bars. We can assure you that we wasted no time reading it. Ultimately, it made a terrific cage liner for our beloved Cockatoo, Teddy Ballgame, who seemed to take inordinate delight in defecating on each page with unbridled fury.