Season 2 - Epilogue
Scene opens to a large field near the outskirts of King’s Landing. We see row upon row of tombstones lining the field and going on further than our eyes can see. The first snow of the season is upon us and large flakes are slowly drifting down. We zoom in on a row of tombstones and see the names of some of the fallen lords of the tournament. We see the names Lord dskantor, Lord pharrop, Lord ysw128, and Lord mptrey engraved in the stones. Next to these, we see an empty grave with a very small tombstone lying next to it. The stone reads, “Here lies bds9992. May he finally win a tournament in the next world.”
Near the empty grave we see two knights hoisting a coffin. It is Sir Westbrook and Sir Cheeks, formally of bds9992’s army. Behind them, playing his lute and hobbling about on a bad ankle is Dame the Bard. The two knights set the casket down beside the grave and bow their heads.
Sir Cheeks: “I can’t believe he’s gone. All the other lords made fun of me when I went at the end of the third round, but bds9992 defended me. He may not have been the best Lord, but he was my friend.”
Sir Westbrook: “He will be missed.”
Sir Cheeks: “He was always so enthusiastic and creative. I always wondered how he came up with some of those theories of his.”
Sir Westbrook: “He was so smart. None of the other lords would have drafted me at the end of the fifth round. Great head on his shoulders.”
Dame the Bard: “Not anymore!”
Sir Cheeks: “Too soon man. We managed to grab both his head and the body so that he can lie in peace.”
Dame the Bard: “I think the whole realm will finally be at peace now that he isn’t around to stir up trouble.
Sir Cheeks: “What are you doing here anyways?”
Dame the Bard: “I’m writing a new ballad. ‘The Life and Death of bds9992’. Do you want to hear?”
Sir Cheeks: “No, It’s too soon.”
Sir Westbrook. “Too soon.”
The two knights lift the casket once more and place it inside the grave. They both grab a shovel and start to cover it with dirt.
Sir Westbrook: “Weren’t you still working on that ballad of the tournament?”
Dame the Bard: “Oh I finished that one. Might be my best work. King pexetera has banned music from the realm, however. I miss the days where lords sat around talking about music. I’ll have to join the ‘Kool Kids’ rebellion if I’m ever going to get a chance to play at court again.”
Sir Cheeks: “The ‘Kool Kids’ rebellion?”
Dame the Bard: “I can’t believe you haven’t heard! Lords dBKC, robusk, ashamael, and benhoidal have fled the city along with a number of other lords they have recruited. I think Lord jhsukow has fled with them.”
Sir Westbrook: “I thought he was going to be the new Hand of the King?”
Dame the Bard: “No. He turned down the offer and is off with the ‘Kool Kids’ now. I think Lord dh555 is staying on as Hand.”
Sir Cheeks: “So, there’s really going to be another Savage War isn’t there?”
Dame the Bard: “It certainly seems that way.”
Sir Westbrook: “I don’t think the realm can take any more Savagery.”
Sir Cheeks: “There are certainly dark days ahead. I guess we could all use some cheer. Go ahead, Dame, sing us that song of yours. The one about the tourney.”
Dame the Bard: “Really?”
Sir Cheeks: “Really. Let’s hear it.”
Dame the Bard’s grin stretches from ear to ear as he grabs his lute. The sun begins to set and as Sir Cheeks and Sir Westbrook continue to fill the grave, Dame the Bard starts to play. A pleasant melody greets our ears as he starts to sing.
“Do I have a story for you m’lord,
Though I fear it doesn’t end well.
The King is dead, the King is dead!
Go ring the SAVAGE bell.
The Hand threw a great tourney,
The winner gets claim to the throne.
Knights came from all ‘cross the land,
So begins the Game of the Zone.
Lords gathered round and swords were drawn
To see who would have the first pick.
When the sword that was drawn was for bds,
Sir LeBron fainted and turned sick.
Lord Gerry the Red then drafted Sir Wilt,
The Goliath of Dipperville.
Wilt lost his eyes, his ears, his voice,
When he joined the Guild of No Evil.
Sir Stephen the great water dancer,
There’s no strike that he couldn’t make.
T’was his lord’s motherf*cking birthday,
So Sir Stephen baked him a cake.
Oh, there was a great feast, the Hand made a speech,
Two lords, they choked on a pie.
But the Captain said that’s not why they died,
T’was bds that poisoned the wine.
Sir Shaq the great Lord Commander,
Was suspicious and examined their goblets.
He started to investigate,
Determined to catch the culprit!
Sir Michael of Jordan was holding court,
With all Lord tarheel’s men.
But when they questioned his leadership,
He beat them again and again.
Sir Frazier of the King’s Guard,
Was happy as could be.
But when he went to find Sir Shaq,
T’was a new knight beneath the tree.
Sir Karl the Sitemail Man,
His job was to tend to the Ravens.
He uncovered a plot, who should he tell?
Sir Karl was timid and craven.
Sir Charles of the Round Mound,
And his faithful second Sir Steve,
Dueled Sir Karl the Sitemail Man,
They will fight for eternity.
Mayor Hoiberg created a robot,
A fighting machine with no limits.
T’was the perfect knight in every way,
Oh no, he forgot to add minutes!
Lord amerk was mad at all the delays,
And so got extremely petty.
He got **** on by birds, not once but twice,
And in the end he screamed ‘Spaghetti!’
Now back to the story of bds,
He’s rotting in a jail.
Lord pexetera’s men, the Wolves of the North,
Refused to pay his bail.
So begins the trial of bds,
The whole realm held its breath.
He demanded to live or die by the sword,
Trial by combat to the death!
The Three Eyed Bird of Bostonia,
Sees more than you or I.
Oh the secrets that he has to tell,
Like how King Kinoa died.
It is now time for the All-Star break,
But which knights get to play?
Sir Wilt the Goliath of Dipperville,
Convincingly led the way.
Sir Giannis the Freak was unhappy,
And Sir Conley sensed the danger.
So while Sir Giannis was on a break,
He took a vial from a stranger.
The Bearded Knight likes to cook,
His new lord won't let him try.
But after a while he finally snapped,
And cooked him into a pie.
The Spaghetti Lord from ‘cross the sea,
Was always late to pick.
When he was challenged by Lord amerk,
He dueled the little *****.
Now, the Doctor’s in to treat the wounds
Of all the fallen men.
Sir Kyrie was brought in and told a strange tale,
And was laughed at again and again.
Let the playoffs begin, said the Hand of the King,
But not for every Lord.
While most still fought on, three were left out,
And Sir Rodman tried courting a whore.
Now, the Devil may dance in the moonlight,
He’ll turn straw to gold for a night.
What tricks will he play, when he shows up to fight?
Wait, which Devil do you mean tonight?
It’s Lord ashamael the Forsaken.
He has the Devil locked in his own tower.
What plans does he have? we may never know,
Beware the Devil’s power.
Moment of silence for Lord 20ks,
Plunged a dagger through his heart.
Sir Paul George tried to set his boat aflame,
But Playoff P was off the mark.
Oh, Lord jhsukow likes to make fun
Of all the lords of the land.
Will he choose to fight for the ‘Kool Kids’?
Or will he become Lord pexetera’s Hand?
Sir Horford of the Longest and Tallest House
Fought hard for his sleepy lord.
But never has he had to fight harder,
Then when he was told to hold the ford.
Lord ysw watched the fights
Of all the knights who were better.
The other lords wanted to talk,
yeah, sure, whatever.
The two red priests had to watch,
As the other lords passed them by.
These two has-beens weren’t SAVAGE enough,
So now they must figure out why.
The conference finals were now done and gone,
Wait! What’s that on court one?
It’s Sir LeBron’s last stand. bds had to run.
But the Sky Hook ended his fun.
The “Real Sir Chris Paul” stepped into the battle,
After he stole a great sword.
Jake from State Farm tried to save the day,
But he was too late to save his lord.
The Hand said bds could take the black,
It’s better than being dead.
But the new king of the SAVAGE Lands,
Made sure bds lost his head.
The second SAVAGE war was done and gone,
Lord pexetera ascended the throne.
It is now time for SAVAGE three!
So ends the Game of the Zone.
So ends the Game of the Zone.”
Dame the Bard ends with a flourish of notes on his lute just as Sir Cheeks and Sir Westbrook fill the grave with the last of the dirt. The three knights sit in silence for a moment as the sun disappears and the sky grows dark. The snow has gotten heavier now and is falling down in sheets.
A loud cracking sound is heard and the three knights turn their heads sharply towards the newly filled in grave. A bony hand emerges from the dirt. The three knights jump back in alarm and fall to the snowy ground. More bones emerge from the grave until an entire body is standing in front of them. It has no head. It reaches down into the grave and pulls out the unmistakable head of bds9992. It’s eyes are shut, but when it opens them we see that they are icy blue. The body of bds9992 holds the head under one arm and walks forward at the three knights who are scrambling away. Dame the Bard is still hobbled and cannot get away fast enough. bds9992 grabs a sword on the ground and stabs him through the gut. He then pulls out the blade and throws it across the field.
We pan to Sir Westbrook and Sir Cheeks who are running as fast as they can through the grave stones. The blade flies through the air and strikes Sir Westbrook right between the shoulders. Sir Cheeks stops and crouches over his fallen comrade’s body. He looks up and we see the thing that was once bds9992 approach. Sir Cheeks backs up slowly. The thing reaches down and pulls the sword out of Sir Westbrook’s back.
Sir Cheeks: “My L...L...Lorrrrd… puh..puh...please. I was your greatest defender!”
bds9992 raises the blade with one hand and swings it down. Sir Cheeks crumbles to the ground.
bds9992 starts to walk away. He sheaths the sword in a scabbard and grips his head with both hands. He places it gently on his severed neck. It starts out backwards, but when he moves his hands away from the head, it straightens out on its own accord.
bds9992 raises both of his arms and behind him the corpses of the three knights raise from the ground. Dame the Bard has a bloody hole in his chest. Sir Westbrook as one in his back. Sir Cheeks has a slash mark across his face. The three knights stumble forward with inhuman motions until they are just behind bds9992. He drops his arms and starts to march towards the capital, the three knights falling in line behind him.
We zoom in on the icy blue eyes of bds9992. Then, our screen goes black and white block letters take over the screen: GAME OF ZONES.
A moment later those letters are replaced with new ones:
SAVAGE 3 IS COMING.