A mafia game with "villagers" and "lynching."
Narrator [Zips up the jeans of a sleeping villager, tip toes back to his bean bag and then Rolls 46-sided die (doesn't roll to well)]: [Holding a flashlight underneath his chin] "Wakey, Wakey [taking them out of hypnosis]. During the night, Vinnie of Allister flew into the village of Bergen, New Jersey riding a crimson dragon. He crept into ye Olde bookie shop and used his longsword to slay Mickey Two Shoes. Jumping back onto his dragon, Vinnie of Allister pulled off the Jersey Turnpike and into the John Fenwick service area. While at the urinal, Vinnie is attacked from behind by a horde of villagers with pitchforks and torches. [Frankenstein at urinal number 2, slowly pulls up his pants, and leaves the men's room whistling nervously]. They tie Vinnie of Allister up, place him in a time machine and send him to Biloxi, Mississippi in the reconstruction era for "lynching."
Participant 1 [wondering why his underwear are on backwards]: "What the hell? That SUCKS! This is game is SO friggin' random! [Spills glass of Jaegermeister, holds up picture of woman peeing on a sidewalk and shoves it in everyone's face"
Participant 2: "Psssssssssssh. Tell me about it, pal. In my day, the Mafia had A LOT more class. And us villagers didn't have time-machines to take care of our lynchings. We had to walk uphill---both ways---in snow. Plus we had to plant a seed, wait for the tree to grow, chop down the vine, plant another seed, wait for that tree to grow, tie the guy to a sapling, wait until that branch grew high enough....."
Creator *********: "[Nods to security and participant 1 and his picture are removed while he's kicking and screaming] I'm working on some ways to improve Lynch Mob and I should roll out a new version later this year. We're trying to reduce the acts of molestation against participants during the 'sleep phase' but at the same time improve the playability. [Participants all gasp] I know, I know...counterintuitive but we're working with the Mob council and I'll keep you updated."
Non-Participant 1 [sitting in the room, not-playing but wont leave]: "Yeah, what he said is right. I used to play Lynch Mob and I was a pretty big deal. [Bruce Springsteen's "Glory Days" starts playing in the background] Hey...did I every mention how I used to be relevant and that I paid for my computer, three of these fuzzy eraser heads, some Sweettarts and eight of my "I'm a douchebag" tee-shirts with Lynch Mob points. [whole room collectively sighs and nods sadly].
3/19/2012 2:58 PM (edited)