Jokes Topic

what did the buffalo say when his kid went to college?  

5/14/2013 11:35 PM
Confucius say :

Man who go through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok
5/16/2013 5:08 PM
Confucius say:

Boy who go to bed with sex problem on mind, will wake up with solution on hand. 

5/16/2013 9:10 PM
What's brown and sticky?

A stick.
5/17/2013 7:15 AM
Have you heard about the guy with 5 penises? His pants fit like a glove
5/17/2013 10:03 PM
Why did Frosty the Snowman drop his pants? He heard a snowblower coming down the street
5/17/2013 10:05 PM
Guy asks a priest "How is holy water made?" Priest says, you take some water, put it in a pot and then boil the hell out of it
5/17/2013 10:06 PM
Confucius say:

Man who come into money has sticky situation on his hands
5/17/2013 10:07 PM
Have you heard about the Mexican that had two penises ? He named one Jose and the other......Hose B.
5/19/2013 6:06 AM
Dude gets picked up and taken back to this hot babe's place.She tells him to get naked and to get on the bed,he does. She strips off and starts crawling up the bottom of the bed working her way up over him. She starts whipping her long hair all over his chest and the guy asks what she's doing,she replies " these are the strong tropical winds blowing through the palm trees" She's pretty hot and he chuckles to himself,he nods for her to carry on. Then she works her way up and starts battering his face with her huge firm breasts.What's going on he asks " these are the coconuts being blown from the palm tree during the strong tropical wind" she says. His face is a little sore but he allows her to continue. Finally she gets up and squats over him and starts ******* all over his torso, "what the heck" he says." These are the warm rains that come with the strong tropical winds" she tells him. " where are you going?" she asks as he jumps up off the bed.  The guy tells her " I'm getting the hell out of here, I can't **** in weather like this"
5/19/2013 6:30 AM
smart move, the rain would have triggered mudslides.
5/19/2013 9:39 AM
A bit of a long one....

A hunter was walking through the deep woods one day.  As he walks by a tree, hears  "pssst, hey buddy, up here"" , and sees someone who looks stuck in the tree.  The guy in the tree says "hey, I'm a genie, and I've been stuck in this tree for over 12 years, with no way to get down.  Could you help me out?"   The hunter goes and  finds  his tree-stand ladder and gets the genie down, and the genie replies that he will grant the hunter three wishes.   The hunter chooses to be rich, and the genie goes "bamn, the money is in your bank account".  The hunter asks for his ***** ex-wife to be killed, and the genie said "consider it already done"  The hunter then asks for pam anderson (it's a dated joke) to be waiting for him back home, and the genie replies that "she on your couch, naked, and waiting".

The genie then asks "hey, i've been up there for over 12 years, havent seen a woman in all that time.  Would you mind giving me a blow job as a favor?"   The hunter says no way, but the genie insists that no-one could possibly find out and reminds the hunter about the three wishes he already granted him..  So, the hunter decides to blow the genie.    Just after the genie finishes, he asks the hunter his name, and the hunter replies "Jim" .   The genie then asks the hunter how old he is.  Jim replies 42.   

The genie then says "so JIm, your 42 years old, and you still believe in genies?"

5/19/2013 8:31 PM
A guy walks into a bar with his latest girlfriend, who happens to be a Packer fan. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the Packer fan begins checking out the place. She grabs some olives off the bar and eats them. Then she grabs some sliced limes and eats them. She then goes over to the pool table and grabs one of the billiard balls. To everyone's amazement, she sticks it in her mouth, and somehow swallows it whole. The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your girlfriend just did?"

"No, what?"

"She just ate the cue ball off my pool table... whole!"

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "She's a Packer fan, and she eats everything in sight. Sorry! I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff."

The guy finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff that his girlfriend ate and leaves.

Two weeks later the couple return to the bar. The guy orders a
drink and his Packer fan girlfriend starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the Packer fan finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. She grabs it, sticks it up her butt, pulls it out, and eats it.

Then she finds a peanut, and again sticks it up her butt, pulls it out, and eats it.

The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your cheesehead girlfriend did just now?"

"No, what?" replied the man.

"Well, she stuck both a maraschino cherry and a peanut up her butt, pulled them out, and ate them!" said the bartender.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "She still eats everything in sight, but ever since she had to **** that cue ball out, she measures everything first now."
7/27/2013 12:28 AM
How do you get a nun pregnant ?

Dress her up as an altar boy.
7/27/2013 8:33 PM
aren't jokes supposed to be funny?
7/29/2013 2:01 AM
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