Posted by bad_luck on 9/26/2016 10:10:00 AM (view original):

Posted by MikeT23 on 9/26/2016 7:47:00 AM (view original):
I don't think I was telling anyone how to feel. I was asking a question.

Why does the death of a MLB pitcher make you sad while a child dying at the hands of a drunk driver/drive-by shooting not illicit the same emotion? Or does it? You know neither. I get when a family member, neighbor, close friend, family member of a neighbor/close friend dies, you might feel sadness. But, when a stranger dies, why would you? And why specific strangers? Because they can throw a baseball really well?

It's a fair question.

Those things are all sad.

Do you acknowledge all of them? Maybe say to a co-worker "Did you see the article where that 6 y/o was the victim of a drive-by? How sad."

Posted by MikeT23 on 9/26/2016 10:22:00 AM (view original):

Posted by bad_luck on 9/26/2016 10:10:00 AM (view original):

Posted by MikeT23 on 9/26/2016 7:47:00 AM (view original):
I don't think I was telling anyone how to feel. I was asking a question.

Why does the death of a MLB pitcher make you sad while a child dying at the hands of a drunk driver/drive-by shooting not illicit the same emotion? Or does it? You know neither. I get when a family member, neighbor, close friend, family member of a neighbor/close friend dies, you might feel sadness. But, when a stranger dies, why would you? And why specific strangers? Because they can throw a baseball really well?

It's a fair question.

Those things are all sad.

Do you acknowledge all of them? Maybe say to a co-worker "Did you see the article where that 6 y/o was the victim of a drive-by? How sad."

Did someone start a thread about those deaths?

Posted by bad_luck on 9/26/2016 10:25:00 AM (view original):

Posted by MikeT23 on 9/26/2016 10:22:00 AM (view original):

Posted by bad_luck on 9/26/2016 10:10:00 AM (view original):

Posted by MikeT23 on 9/26/2016 7:47:00 AM (view original):
I don't think I was telling anyone how to feel. I was asking a question.

Why does the death of a MLB pitcher make you sad while a child dying at the hands of a drunk driver/drive-by shooting not illicit the same emotion? Or does it? You know neither. I get when a family member, neighbor, close friend, family member of a neighbor/close friend dies, you might feel sadness. But, when a stranger dies, why would you? And why specific strangers? Because they can throw a baseball really well?

It's a fair question.

Those things are all sad.

Do you acknowledge all of them? Maybe say to a co-worker "Did you see the article where that 6 y/o was the victim of a drive-by? How sad."

Did someone start a thread about those deaths?

Do you only speak to people via threads on this site?


Maybe say to a co-worker "Did you see the article where that 6 y/o was the victim of a drive-by? How sad."

Sure, I've said, "that's sad," to my wife or a coworker about a stranger's death before.

Have you not?

I get the grief and sadness if it's a key player on your favorite team. I remember when my dad called me at work in August 1979 to tell me about Thurman Munson. I was 18 and Thurman was my favorite player on my favorite team. It was pretty devastating to me.

But I also get what Mike is saying. People die every day for a variety of reasons. Unless you have a "personal" connection, however slight, to any of them, it's natural to give a quick reaction of "well, that's a shame", but then move on with the rest of your day. Anything more than that seems a bit much.

Not that I can think of. People have said it to me and I've nodded my head or agreed. But that's just being polite. As I said, I can't shed a tear for everyone who dies. I'm not going to do it for a stranger who happens to throw a baseball. Or a kid 2000 miles away who meets an unfortunate end.

Another pet peeve. "And she was such a pretty girl. How sad." Is it less sad if she's butt-ugly?

Posted by tecwrg on 9/26/2016 10:36:00 AM (view original):
I get the grief and sadness if it's a key player on your favorite team. I remember when my dad called me at work in August 1979 to tell me about Thurman Munson. I was 18 and Thurman was my favorite player on my favorite team. It was pretty devastating to me.

But I also get what Mike is saying. People die every day for a variety of reasons. Unless you have a "personal" connection, however slight, to any of them, it's natural to give a quick reaction of "well, that's a shame", but then move on with the rest of your day. Anything more than that seems a bit much.

I don't think anyone is doing anything more than that here.

This seems like an easy one to get mass agreement on.

Cant we say everyone gets to care about things to the level they alone decide to care?

Sure. I just find it odd that people are sad because a guy they didn't know died. I guess because he could really throw a ball.

FWIW, I tried to think of "irrational sadness" from me. Two sporting events come to mind because I saw them when they happened.

Stingley. Raiders are my team. And, when Tatum leveled him, I was all "YEAH!!!!" Then he was paralyzed. Not sure if I felt bad because I was all "YEAH!!!!" or because a guy went to work then came home paralyzed.

Earnhardt. I tend to watch racing in February because I don't watch the NBA. Picked up the end of Daytona and he went into the wall. Pretty normal looking. Then he was dead 2 hours later. My thought, when it happened, was "Well, you were blocking for your teammate and your boy. WTF did you expect to happen?" Again, I felt bad but don't know if it was my reaction to it or the fact he went to work and never came home.

That's it and I think it may have been because I thought "So?" when it happened.

All the good in the world died when the Giants ruined the Patriots perfect season in the Super Bowl. Nothing has brought true joy since.


some call that irrational sadness

I feel really bad about the death of a family member or friend because I had a personal connection with them.

I feel sad about Jose Fernandez because of unrealized potential in his career. He could have gone to the Yankees or the Cubs and been a Hall of Famer (or elsewhere I suppose).

I feel sad about Arnold Palmer, because he was an icon. I only knew about him through his public persona and he seemed like a nice guy.

I don't feel - much - when I hear about generic deaths. Maybe when its a major tragedy or a death of a younger person/infant, I might feel a little more.

I don't see anything wrong with any of this and it seems somewhat consistent with my friends and acquaintances.

I'm sure anyone who loses someone close to them does not consider that death "generic".

I guess my point is that Jose Fernandez, or his family, would consider your death "generic" and not think about it again.

The ability to throw a baseball doesn't make you any more, or less, important to me in terms of sadness than any other stranger death.

Posted by edsortails on 9/26/2016 1:00:00 PM (view original):
This seems like an easy one to get mass agreement on.

Cant we say everyone gets to care about things to the level they alone decide to care?

Bingo.

I think whenever someone dies at a young age it is always a sad thing. When it is someone who is immensely talented for some reason it seems even sadder. If their talent is related to something we really appreciate then it hits us harder and is harder for us to accept. We somehow feel it more personally. Like something was taken from us. We somehow feel cheated.

It seems a little ironic that Arnold Palmer passed away on the same day at the ripe old age of 87. He lived a long and productive life. A great man and even greater person who touched many lives of many people he didn't even know. Just like Jose Fernandez in his comparatively short time on earth. What if Arnold Palmer had died in an accident at age 24. The world of golf would not be the same. We will never really know how much Jose's passing will effect baseball.. What might have been.

I am old enough to remember the many times I enjoyed following the battles of Arnie and Jack Nicolas and Gary Player and Lee Trevno. There are sports figures who transcend their sport like Mohammed Ali and Dale Earnhardt and Michael Jordan. The things they did inspired us as well as entertained us. Remembering them and their triumphs takes us back in time. Jose Fernandez could have been one of those.

We can mourn him and feel cheated in a way; but our thoughts and prayers should be for his family, his friends and his teammates.

Our own thoughts should be for the friends and family we have lost. Not with sadness but with the joy of remembering all the good times. Even more our thoughts should be on those people who are important to us who are still with us. To cherish every moment we share with them. To let them know how much they mean to us. For one day they might not be there. Then it will be too late for us let them know. Then we will truly feel what those close to Jose must feel right now.

RIP Jose

I'm confused....

are you a fat father or the father of a fat son?