Posted by ab90 on 4/21/2017 1:58:00 AM (view original):
Aaron Hernandez has a defense rating of 14 right now just because you could potentially trip over him. 2? 5? 11? What the **** does that even mean? Do you often forget which of the 2 baskets you're supposed to protect and sometimes find yourself playing what is strangely a 1 man zone, but you feel good about it because the ball is going the other way. And then you think, ****. Are we on offense right now? And then you start to run down to play offense, but you realize that the guys who are throwing the orange thing are wearing red shirts, whereas your shirt is blue, and it just doesn't compute, so you just sit there, and feel like your 1 man zone is unconventional, and maybe now extended too far beyond the 3 point line after you ran a little bit the other direction, but you feel good about it. Because the ball is very far away and you are sort of close to.......your......yes, your(?) basket? Yes, your basket.

And then, Oh, Christ! Now the ball is coming toward my basket. Wait. We have one. Two. 3. It looks like maybe 6 players. Yes, the one guy on your team is moving around too much and you keep forgetting to count him, but he's definitely on your team. But the other team has......somewhere in the range of 3-5 players. 3 players. Nope. Forgot that one with the funny face that reminds me of Danny DeVito from Matilda. Oh my GOODNESS is he mean in that movie. Matilda just wanted love, and he didn't give it to her.

****. Are we on a power play?

Posted by ab90 on 4/21/2017 1:41:00 AM (view original):
I just took over Muskingum, who is terrible. They are my alma mater and also generally bad in RL, so it's realistic in that aspect. But holy scrotum juice how are these actual scholarship players? I've got kids with 2 and 11 and other prime ******* numbers of defensive ratings. I have way too many kids with prime numbers for ratings, I guess is the TL; DR. These kids might as well be having 40 minute seizures out on the court.

Posted by lakevin on 4/27/2017 10:21:00 AM (view original):

Posted by ab90 on 4/21/2017 1:58:00 AM (view original):
Aaron Hernandez has a defense rating of 14 right now just because you could potentially trip over him. 2? 5? 11? What the **** does that even mean? Do you often forget which of the 2 baskets you're supposed to protect and sometimes find yourself playing what is strangely a 1 man zone, but you feel good about it because the ball is going the other way. And then you think, ****. Are we on offense right now? And then you start to run down to play offense, but you realize that the guys who are throwing the orange thing are wearing red shirts, whereas your shirt is blue, and it just doesn't compute, so you just sit there, and feel like your 1 man zone is unconventional, and maybe now extended too far beyond the 3 point line after you ran a little bit the other direction, but you feel good about it. Because the ball is very far away and you are sort of close to.......your......yes, your(?) basket? Yes, your basket.

And then, Oh, Christ! Now the ball is coming toward my basket. Wait. We have one. Two. 3. It looks like maybe 6 players. Yes, the one guy on your team is moving around too much and you keep forgetting to count him, but he's definitely on your team. But the other team has......somewhere in the range of 3-5 players. 3 players. Nope. Forgot that one with the funny face that reminds me of Danny DeVito from Matilda. Oh my GOODNESS is he mean in that movie. Matilda just wanted love, and he didn't give it to her.

****. Are we on a power play?

Aaron Hernandez has much larger problems than a 14 rating.