Like most of us at WIS I'm middle-aged and grumpy, so it naturally follows that abrupt changes in fashion tend to confuse, anger and frighten me. "What are you babbling about now, crazystengel?" I can hear you asking. Well, if you must know, MLB hairdos and beards are what I'm babbling about now.
I see a grown man with long, luscious locks like Noah Syndergaard and I think, "Is he so hard up for cash that he's doing side gigs shooting covers for Harlequin romances?" Every team seems to employ at least one of these walking shampoo ads. Sorry, but I don't approve of ballplayers looking like Fabio circa 1994!
Then you've got the beards. Beards everywhere! The Dallas Keuchel beard of bees, the Derek Norris 19th century Russian novelist, the Matt Shoemaker children's Halloween beard available at Walmart for $2.99. What, do these guys have a date with their hobo pals to hop a freight train right after the game?
Bah! Gimme a Roger Maris buzz cut and a clean shave, barber!