Butch and his crappy nappy friend seem to have disappeared. It's been days. Suspicious.

DEAR DIARY: Schedule photo shoot with the cat. Dumbass voters will fall for it.

Overheard secretary scheduling voters to shoot the cat. I'm way ahead of them.

DEAR DIARY: Nix the photo shoot. I have about as much chance of getting elected as TRUMP has getting impeached.

CRAP. I need more ink.

I'm going to prison.

Get me a cell next to Comey and make sure Hunter is in a prison as far away as possible.

Please don't click on the United Spot.

77 years and 84 days......still not in prison.

Schiff says Trump is doing drug deals. Need to get him in contact with my son.

Contacted the DNC to make sure I was still the guy. Warren crashing. Not worried about Bernie. We got the super delegates. I'm so in.

The only thing that would prevent me from being the next President is if they backed that BILLIONAIRE guy all the rest of us said no.

That's not gonna happen. ALL the democrats love me. Smell ya later.

Welcome to Brexit and another great trade deal.

WOW! The DNC changed the rules at the last minute again. NOW the BILLIONAIRE can be in the debate.

Not worried because my son and brothers have untold millions of dollars.

I won't allow them to steal the election from me like Hillary did Bernie last time. CORNPOP!

Things couldn't be better. Told that Iowa guy he's a damned liar. Told the girl in New Vermont she's a dog-faced pony.

Leaving here early. Gotta show East Carolina why I almost won that state one time before I dropped out.

Iowa votes still not in yet. Will probably put me over the top. Waiting on Western Union from Hunter.

Need bus fare if I hope to get to West Carolina in time.