[24:25-25:20]
The camera cuts back in the War Room where Bill Walton has just been drafted by copernicus. Bill is talking to longtallbrad. Upon being selected, he puts something in his pocket then goes around the room high-fiving everyone.
Patrick Ewing enters the War Room sporting his new “Gold Club” hat after being selected by 24kpyrite in the 3rd. He’s sweating profusely. This time it seems like a happy sweat. David Stern walks over and hands him an envelope stating “You look hot, here, use this to cool off.”
pexetera is overheard talking on the phone to Gordon Hayward. “Yes, I know Omaha is a mostly white city, but I’m not drafting you just because you like where my team plays.”
ashamael is seen looking at Randy Savage YouTube videos on his computer.
bds9992 is trying to tell Doris Burke that Andre Iguodala is really a point guard and should have been drafted much higher.
benhoidal is seen leading the Kardashians out of the War Room and to the rooms of players that were selected by Ash.
dh555 is overheard calling in Amare Stoudemire as the first pick of the fourth round. On the big screen in front of everyone, the image of Amare holding the fire extinguisher with a bloody hand is shown. The phone drops from dh555’s hand and he looks like he’s seen a ghost.

[25:20-27:55]
Narrator: “Never before had a draft inspired such excitement, brought forth so much commentary, or generated such heated debates.”

Camera is on Magic, Bill and Jalen.

Jalen Rose: “Reggie was definitely ahead of Allen for me in this league.”

Bill Simmons: “Reggie is just such a crappy passer, defender and rebounder. Hard to make that work in a draft league unless you have all of that already. That being said, he has been number 1 on my board for a while.”

Magic Johnson: “Doesn’t Ray have that one season with superior rebounds and assists?”

Jalen Rose: “Yes, but for 5 seasons? Reggie has at least 7 great seasons to choose from. His rebounds are horrible, defense is mediocre to bad, assists are meh. But efg%, 3's, usage, TOV, and minutes? Outstanding. Great pick at this point.”

Bill Simmons: “I promise it’s not just because he was a Celtic but Ray is clearly the better player. He’s one of only 3 members of the 17-2-37 club. I never thought Reggie was that good. This is just the market corrected on him. Let’s see what the TNT guys think.”

Camera cuts to the TNT booth where Reggie makes a choking gesture at the camera.

In the next booth over, Skip and Stephen A. are having the same debate.

Skip Bayless: “Ray Allen made the 3 that saved LeBron’s career. Aside from Jordan, there has never been a more clutch player. He just has the clutch gene. LeBron James, as gifted as he is, was not born with a clutch gene.”

Sage Steele: “Skip, we were debating Ray Allen and Reggie Miller, not Allen and LeBron.”

Stephen A. Smith: “REGGIE MILLER IS A BAD MAN!”

While they are talking, tweets are streaming in on the tracker on the side of the screen.
dh555: You know what? I’m actually glad I took Amare.
20ks: I've flipped 100 times and have finally settled on one guy. Which means I know he will be the next pick.
copernicus: oh wait, are we supposed to be thinking that hard about this?
dh555: Ugh! Amare was definitely a mistake.
Reggie Miller: Hot take: Reggie Miller is better in almost every area than Ray Allen but Ray Allen is consistently drafted over him.
tarheel1991: Did I publish my draft board to everyone by accident?
dh555: So he got upset he hadn’t been picked yet and did something stupid. I need some of that attitude on my team! Glad I got Amare when I did.
bds9992: HA! Ash takes Paul Silas in the 4th after making fun of my Jokic pick???
dBKC: Why’d you guys take all the good players? :(
dh555: Guys, can I get a redo on the Amare pick?
Kyrie Irving: Great, now I have to adjust my game to this guy Shaquille
Eric Bledsoe: I Dont wanna be here
dh555: Amare is going to lead me to the promised land!

The camera pans to the parking lot, and we see the podcast boys beside their Civic.

Nate Duncan: “Okay, which of the shooters drafted in the last few rounds would you guys take. It’s got to be Ray Allen right?”

Danny Larue: “Maybe in a vacuum, but Ray in the third vs. Reggie in the fifth? Give me Reggie.”

Ben Taylor: I actually really love the Danny Green pick. He has so many good usable seasons that are basically carbon copies of themselves, so you can just plug and play. I kept waiting for robusk to pick him, but I guess he made no sense with a few of the Kawhi seasons.”

We flash back to the arena and we hear a voice off screen:
“We can do it! Let’s get to Brad before the Ambien kicks in.”

The footage fast forwards and there is a little minute tracker in the upper right corner. After 1 hour and 17 minutes, the footage resumes normal speed. We see Adam Silver step up to the microphone and say: “I am assuming longtallbrad is tranq’d and the night is lost. Keep your refreshes in the holster fellas. We will start up again tomorrow.”

[27:55-30:15]
Narrator: “Days turned into weeks, and no one except Brad was getting any sleep. Yet the draft dragged on.”

Images and clips cut quickly in and out of the feed, blurring together as they leave the screen.

In the War Room, a blurry eyed robusk is whispering to his computers: “I have never paid attention to offensive boards when assembling a team. I don’t care about them. Shhhh.”

Mikee1 is being interviewed in the crowd by Doris Burke: “I am ****** I missed joining this league!”

copernicus turns from the big screen to the camera: “Ah Shane Battier, the rice cake of player options, all fiber, no flavor.”

In the corner of the room bds9992 is playing his trombone as dBKC tries to harmonize rap lyrics to the sound. kinoa1 is laying down a synth line on top and longtallbrad is listening in awe while staring at Sager’s suit. ashamael looks annoyed and puts headphones on.

We hear Adam Silver say, “tarheel1991 selects… Wes Unseld.” On the big screen in the front of the room we see Unseld exiting the green room. He pumps his fist on the way to shake Adam Silver’s hand. Behind them on the screen, tarheel1991 is being interviewed by Doris Burke. “RIP to Wes Unseld. We're gonna try to win this sucker for him.” Unseld looks up in horror as the camera cuts away.

The camera catches longtallbrad, nodding off, trying to stay awake. jcred5 waits until brad is fully asleep, then calls his pick in and giggles.

The camera returns to the TNT crew, who have been joined by Chris Webber, Reggie Miller, and Steve Kerr.

Ernie: “Okay guys, let’s get into our next segment. Guys, tell me which players you’re surprised are still on the board.”

Charles Barkley: “I pick Allen Iverson.”

Reggie Miller: “Charles, have you ever heard of EFG%?”

Charles Barkley: “E-F-G? I don’t care about that or H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-P! Allen Iverson can PLAY.”

Reggie Miller: “He can play you right out of games. I’m surprised Brad Daugherty is still available.”

A window at the bottom of the screen shows Daugherty looking anxious in the green room.

Charles Barkley: “Reggie Miller is the worst analyst on television.”

Ernie: “Okay… anyone else?”

Chris Webber: “Isiah Thomas. I know some people don’t like his stats, but he has heart. He has toughness. These teams need that.”

The window at the bottom shows a sullen Isiah Thomas in the green room.

Shaquille O’Neal: “mmbmbmbmmbmbllmlmlbl.”

Steve Kerr: “I would say Kenny, but I think these owners are looking for some defense, toughness, and unselfishness.”

Kenny: “...”

Twitter tracker:
tarheel1991: I have a plan but I can't promise it's a good one.
24kpyrite: I f*cking hate drafting beside kinoa1
dh555: The whole 6th round I’m thinking ‘Don’t let Ben get Rollins and Ward.’ I’m kinda scared.

We cut to the parking lot next to Nate Duncan’s Honda Civic.

Danny Larue: I didn't think ben's defensive team thing was going to come together quite this well; he scored some great values, and fits, on his roster with his last three picks, Porter, Rollins, and Ward. He's going to roll out fearsome defensive lineups in all five leagues, and with offensive efficiency likely to be lower than in usual draft leagues due to the expanded season pool, that's going to be really difficult to beat.”

Ben Taylor: “That really is a tremendous amount of fouls and turnovers on five teams though. I am curious to see it.”

Snapshot of the War Room with the camera on benhoidal.
benhoidal: “Up to this point, I’ve pretty much got the exact players I wanted and haven’t had to think too hard. I really like all five of my teams through 5 rounds.”

[30:15-34:00]
The pick tracker at the bottom of our screen expands to take up the whole image. Picks start to fill in faster and faster until there is a new name every two seconds.

Narrator: “24 different owners, all with 5 unique teams to build, a total of 120 different teams playing at once. Never before in simleague basketball had such a feat been attempted and owners were dealing with the stress very differently.”

The pick tracker starts to get smaller until it is back at its normal size and location, however its pace is still accelerated. The camera zooms back into the War Room and onto copernicus who has on dark Ray Bans, flip flops, rugger shorts, a dirty oversized T-shirt, a bathrobe, and has a White Russian in his hand. Next to him, Doris Burke is interviewing dh555.

dh555: “Stressed? No, I’m not too stressed. I mean, my wife threw me out of the house a week ago and for some reason I just took Tim Hardaway, but it could be worse.” His eyes dart over to copernicus and he slightly inclines his head in that direction. He leans in and whispers, “monkee hasn’t slept in days. For his last pick, he called Adam Silver and screamed at him to ‘Shut the **** up Donny.’ I had to make his pick for him.”

copernicus raises his head from his desk and looks right at dh555. “This is what happens when you **** a stranger in the *** Larry. You get stuck with the wrong Sabonis.”

The camera pans to the middle of the room. dBKC has notecards everywhere, straying this way and that. We can just hear him muttering, “Well if she really wants to leave me over this...I get to keep the notecards in the divorce.”

Next to him, pexetera is visibly frustrated and can’t seem to figure out which note cards are his and which ones are dB’s. He picks up his phone and says, “Derek Harper… 4th round really? Guess I’ll settle for… Mark Jackson?” The window at the bottom of the screen pops up and shows a sullen Isiah Thomas in the green room.

A few desks down, we see robusk who has somehow added a computer and now has algorithms streaming on all ten. He has beer bottles strewn around him, and he is staring straight ahead into the ether, muttering to himself about how it all went wrong. Next to him, amerk1180 is heard wondering where his computer is and lamenting that he can no longer watch women’s golf.

The camera moves along down the aisle, briefly pausing at longtallbrad’s desk where Brad and Bill Walton are both passed out before stopping near the very end. ashamael and benhoidal are playing a game of Catan. ashamael’s normally neat ponytail and carefully manicured goatee are in disarray. benhoidal hangs up his desk phone and says, “That was my wife, she wanted me to make sure you knew her two rules about playing Catan with me. Never trade with me, and make sure no one else does either. I think you guys would get along well.” benhoidal’s ‘new dad’ beard is in rough shape and the bags under his eyes are the same color as the approaching Craig Sager’s suit.

Sager asks them both what their most frustrating draft moment was.
benhoidal: “Most frustrating moment? Hmm. Probably when I spent three hours deciding that Buddy flippin Hield was my only option as backup shooting guard only for jhsukow to take him two picks before me. Then I spent another hour whittling down the remaining players and settling on Michael Redd only for someone…” His eyes quickly dart towards ash and then back towards Sager. “To take him right before me. I panicked and drafted Rodney Rogers.” The window at the bottom of the screen pops up and shows a sullen Isiah Thomas in the green room.

ashamael: “Probably when that ************, kinoa1, took Russell Westbrook. I was totally going to take Westbrook with the next-to-the-last pick of the draft to back up Oscar for 5 minutes a game. Think about the beauty, the first guy to ever average a triple double for an entire season backed up by the only other guy to do it. Had to settle for Baron Davis.” The window at the bottom of the screen pops up and shows a sullen Isiah Thomas in the green room. ashamael looks down at the Catan board, and turns away from the camera and back towards benhoidal. “You’re a ************ too ben.” He flips the board upside down and the image fades into darkness. The last things we see are Craig Sager’s shocked face and benhoidal’s smirk.

[34:00-35:15]
Narrator: “Finally, after fourteen days, we reached the final round of the draft. Our GMs haven’t left this room for two weeks. Some even claim that the NBA’s Orlando bubble solution was born due to The Savage Draft.”

Our camera is in the War Room. The atmosphere is mostly casual as some owners have been finished with their teams for a while and most are relieved to be almost done. We hear snippets of conversations between the owners.

samuelyork83 is telling anyone who will listen: “Didn’t know who to pick so I called my wife and asked her to call it in. She’s a Kentucky fan. She picked John Wall. Help?“

dh555 walks up to jcred5: “Well it would only be right if you got us one last time...we love ya jcred but you have run away with the Least Valuable Owner for this draft.”

tarheel1991 to no one in particular: “You guys would laugh so hard if you saw some of the names coming up in the searches I'm running.”

longtallbrad looks up from his computer where he is just hanging up on a FaceTime call with an unknown older woman and looks at the camera: “Of course jcred nabs the player I was on track to take before Vucevic's great aunt FaceTimed me and pitifully implored me to take the big galoot instead.”

copernicus runs up to the camera: “Somebody hacked my account and has been drafting for me all along. We need to start over!”

robusk and bds9992 are talking about avant garde jazz music to pass the time. We overhear bds9992 tell robusk: “You are my new favorite owner. I will officially never say anything about your projections ever again!” A disclaimer at the bottom of the screen reads: 10 days later, bds9992 went off in the ODL 76 commentary forums on robusk after robusk predicted him to miss the playoffs.

We can just hear dh555 in the background: “You damn kids and your crazy jazz music...get off my draft thread lawn!”

[35:15-37:30]
Adam Silver’s voice is heard off screen. “With the last pick of the SAVAGE DRAFT… benhoidal selects… Tobias Harris. Wait, is that right?”

The camera pans to a crying Brad Daugherty and we hear a couple of voice-overs.
pexetera: “I kept waiting for Daugherty to get picked”
samuelyork93: “I was THIS close to picking Daugherty instead of Gasol. If Dirk was a better defender I might have.”

Isiah Thomas is giving an interview in the corner claiming that Michael Jordan blackballed him from being selected.

A large SAVAGE logo appears, followed by a sequence of talking heads.

Narrator: “The first ever SAVAGE draft had concluded, and with the season starting the next day, reason for optimism was plentiful.”

ashamael: “I will be disappointed if I finish below .500 in any season and overjoyed if I get 60 plus and/or a championship. All told, I probably spent at least 24 hours tweaking the teams & lineups after the draft was over. Thinking I’ll get 250 plus wins. Could be a pipe dream. The Cream is the team I think has the best chance to win it all because, you know, the cream will RIIIIIIIIIIIIISE to the top! Ooooooh Yeeeeee-aaaaaah!!”

pexetera: “I've had so many of my target players snagged right before they got to me that I feel like most of my team is made up of 2nd choices.”

bds9992: “Super happy with my team. I feel like I might have 5 playoff teams, and a couple contenders.”

dBKC: “Now here comes the interesting part. Will any of this actually work?”

dh555: “I feel like I could make the playoffs with every team, I'm pretty well balanced.”

jcred5: “Will anyone win 55 games?”

24kpyrite: “I do not feel like I have a championship team, but I feel like I have a trio of playoff teams.”

20ks: “As it shook out, I feel like I have 1 very good team, 1 pretty good team, 2 functional teams that could go either way depending on where they get matched up, and 1 team that will have a hard time competing.”

benhoidal: “I really only have one team that I think will be a true contender, but I have four teams that I think are going to make the playoffs and one that should have a chance.”

[37:30-42:00]
The scene fades and is replaced by a large round table of commentators. All of the media personalities from the draft are there along with a few more, all making their SAVAGE KING predictions.

Skip Bayless: “ashamael will win the SAVAGE championship. All he does is win. Book it!”

Stephen A. Smith: “"I'M AN HONORABLE MAN, SO I MUST ADMIT SKIP IS RIGHT-ON WITH THAT. ASHAMAEL IS A BAD MAN!”

Nick Wright: “robusk is better at progressives than ashamael. robusk is better at theme leagues than ashamael. robusk is better at draft leagues than ashamael. The only thing ashamael is better that than robusk is open leagues, and that is because he plays in them more often. You can’t use overall wins Skip, because then benhoidal is the best, not ashamael. robusk is the best owner in simleague basketball, and he will be the SAVAGE KING.”

Sage Steele: “I have to go with kinoa1. I choose him in every league and he hasn’t let me down yet.”

Bill Simmons: “Who has the most Celtics? pharrop? Okay, I’ll go with him.”

Jalen Rose: “I think the stout front line that dh555 has is going to hold it down. Kareem with a skyhook over Shaq to win.”

Magic Johnson: “I gotta go with my Lakers in this one.”

Colin Cowherd: “Adding Andrew Bogut makes mptrey the clear favorite.”

Michelle Beadle: “robusk is my favorite in this league. He’s the best owner on the site and adding Kawhi in the 2nd gives him the edge for me.”

Ernie Johnson: “I hope bds9992 wins. He always has such great optimism.”

Charles Barkley: “America, let me just tell you something. Whoever has me is going to win.”

Shaquille O’Neal: “kinoa1 has the best owner rating, and the best player. Me.”

Reggie Miller: “I’d be scoring 35 points per game in today’s game and now I have the chance to prove it. 20ks will win the ship, and I will be MVP. No pun intended.”

Kenny Smith: “I got tarheel1991. Go Heels!”

Doris Burke: “I really like dBKC’s squad. I have him first, benhoidal second, and pexetera third.”

Bill Walton: “A lot of people understand what not saying anything means, so in effect, not saying anything is really saying a lot.”

Marv Albert: “Good point Bob. I’m taking grayfoxx to win it all.”

Nate Duncan: “I’m going to do it. I’ve spent a lot of time trying to convince myself this wasn’t the pick, but I just love how his whole team came together. I’m going with benhoidal!”

Danny Larue: “I can see it. He just has too many turnovers and fouls for my liking. I could see a number of good owners winning this thing, but I’m going with dBKC.”

Ben Taylor: “benhoidal’s defense looks great, especially for the team with the 100 D Whiteside, but he has a lot of turnovers and fouls. Meanwhile, pexetera doesn’t shoot any threes, but makes up for it with excellent defense and efficiency. I like those two at the top with the slight edge to pexetera.”

Rachel Nichols: “kinoa1, and I think that for two reasons. Number one is that he has the best owner ranking.”

Zach Lowe: “It’s hard to bet against kinoa1 here. Lot’s of owners who could win this.”

Kendrick Perkins: “My most feared teams so far due to nothing but eyeballing the rosters: copernicus, gerryred, pexetera, pharrop, robusk, benhoidal, kinoa1, mptrey, dBKC, samuelyork93, dh555, amerk1180, ysw128, dskantor, longtallbrad, pharrop, 20ks, tarheel1991, 24kpyrite, goetz93, jhsukow, jcred5, jpevans31, and bds9992.”

Brian Windhorst, holding up a 3x5 notecard with NBA stats on one side and division of assets on the back: “My wife left me.”

The screen fades black and words are written in big white block letters:

TO BE CONTINUED IN PART 2 - THE SEASON...

I swear this is an entire doc worth of stuff, insane.

Be sure to start on page 11, Ben just dumped a ton of content.

The whole thing is up on page 1 too.

Pretty good stuff. And, I find it funny that the time was taken to look-up and type out all of the owners except one in the following quote.
'Kendrick Perkins: “My most feared teams so far due to nothing but eyeballing the rosters: copernicus, gerryred, pexetera, pharrop, robusk, benhoidal, kinoa1, mptrey, dBKC, samuelyork93, dh555, amerk1180, ysw128, dskantor, longtallbrad, pharrop, 20ks, tarheel1991, 24kpyrite, goetz93, jhsukow, jcred5, and bds9992.”'

Posted by jpevans31 on 7/1/2020 10:59:00 PM (view original):
Pretty good stuff. And, I find it funny that the time was taken to look-up and type out all of the owners except one in the following quote.
'Kendrick Perkins: “My most feared teams so far due to nothing but eyeballing the rosters: copernicus, gerryred, pexetera, pharrop, robusk, benhoidal, kinoa1, mptrey, dBKC, samuelyork93, dh555, amerk1180, ysw128, dskantor, longtallbrad, pharrop, 20ks, tarheel1991, 24kpyrite, goetz93, jhsukow, jcred5, and bds9992.”'

Who’s it missing? I can go change it now.

Posted by benhoidal on 7/1/2020 11:08:00 PM (view original):

Posted by jpevans31 on 7/1/2020 10:59:00 PM (view original):
Pretty good stuff. And, I find it funny that the time was taken to look-up and type out all of the owners except one in the following quote.
'Kendrick Perkins: “My most feared teams so far due to nothing but eyeballing the rosters: copernicus, gerryred, pexetera, pharrop, robusk, benhoidal, kinoa1, mptrey, dBKC, samuelyork93, dh555, amerk1180, ysw128, dskantor, longtallbrad, pharrop, 20ks, tarheel1991, 24kpyrite, goetz93, jhsukow, jcred5, and bds9992.”'

Who’s it missing? I can go change it now.

Lol, don't bother, man. I just have my reasons for finding it funny.

[17:35-42:00] starting on Page 11. Whole episode updated on page 1

Posted by benhoidal on 7/1/2020 11:08:00 PM (view original):

Posted by jpevans31 on 7/1/2020 10:59:00 PM (view original):
Pretty good stuff. And, I find it funny that the time was taken to look-up and type out all of the owners except one in the following quote.
'Kendrick Perkins: “My most feared teams so far due to nothing but eyeballing the rosters: copernicus, gerryred, pexetera, pharrop, robusk, benhoidal, kinoa1, mptrey, dBKC, samuelyork93, dh555, amerk1180, ysw128, dskantor, longtallbrad, pharrop, 20ks, tarheel1991, 24kpyrite, goetz93, jhsukow, jcred5, and bds9992.”'

Who’s it missing? I can go change it now.

Maybe the dude who pointed it out...

Wow. Just wow. I can't believe you two were able to put that together. I initially started trying to track my favorite quotes but there were just too many.

The characters you seemed to nail the best were Nate/Danny, Lowe, Cowherd and Barkley. All the little touches on the owners were great. Honestly it was amazing. Except for the fact that I failed at believing I could get by with so many low minutes high / draft picks, all the stuff surrounding this league has been the most fun I have had on the site in like 8 years.

Thanks for all the hard work.