Hey 20ks. No one is being left out on purpose, doing the best I can to include everyone. Going owner by owner via draft position, plus trying to incorporate a couple of interlocking plots and stories. You and your team will feature heavily in episode 21!

Season 2 - Episode 17: Spaghetti and Meatballs
Upon a dark background, white block letters say ‘PREVIOUSLY ON GAME OF ZONES’. The Os are filled in as though they are basketballs.

Scene opens to a tavern where Sir Paul the Truthfulness, Sir Penny the Frail, and Sir Drummond the Wide are sharing a pint with Sir Clyde and Sir Kyrie of House ashamael.

Sir Paul: “It all started during the knight selection process. There were some delays since Lord albiband, the Spaghetti Knight, had to send his selections via carrier pigeon from Essos. A couple lords got frustrated by this, but none more so than Lord amerk. He went on this long rant about how the Spaghetti Lord was wasting his time, how he had better things to do such as watch the maidens play golf. It was quite the spectacle. Lords at each other's throats. But then, it happened.”

Sir Clyde: “What happened?!”

Sir Paul: “It was the Spaghetti Lord’s turn and after waiting all night, a carrier pigeon flew into the Red Keep, but on it’s way there it took a **** right on Lord amerk’s head.”

Sir Clyde: “OH NO!”

Sir Paul: “Lord amerk cried out for vengeance. He sent a raven that night to Essos, challenging the Spaghetti Lord to a duel.”

Sir Clyde: “And? Who won the duel?”

Sir Paul: “Lord amerk is still waiting in the practice courtyard. He has said he will not leave until he has been avenged.”

Cut to the practice courtyard where we see Lord amerk standing by himself. A carrier pigeon flies by and drops a letter down at his feet. He bends down to pick it up, opens it, and reads it out loud.

“I will be arriving in Westeros soon and look forward to competing against you all. Good luck to everyone!”

Lord amerk looks up from the letter with an outraged grimace. We hear a ‘Splat!’ as our screen goes white. The next thing we see is Lord amerk covered in pigeon ****. He lets loose a guttural scream into the sky as our screen goes black. The last thing we hear is Lord amerk's cry, “SPAGHETTIIIII!!!!!”

We see a disclaimer in white letters appear: ALL CHARACTERS AND EVENTS IN THIS CARTOON, EVEN THOSE BASED ON REAL PEOPLE, ARE FICTIONAL AND ALL VOICES ARE OBVIOUSLY IMPERSONATED. The letters disappear and new letters take its place: GAME OF ZONES. The Os are basketballs. These letters too disappear and a cartoon knight is seen dribbling a basketball between his legs next to new letters: SEASON 2 - EPISODE 17: Spaghetti and Meatballs

Scene opens to the Festival of the Red Hats. It is being held in a large colosseum like arena. The arena seems empty upon first glance, but as we zoom closer we notice about a dozen people near the center who are surrounding a small stage. Among the delirious shouting and cheering, we see Lord amerk who is shot gunning some ale and wearing a red hat. On the stage in front, the leader of the festival is struggling to drink a glass of water. We zoom in on Lord amerk. Next to him, Lord cmcafeeky is there, but something is wrong with him. He is expressionless and unmoving. Lord amerk looks confused, but is then distracted by a commotion up front. We follow his gaze and see that the leader has turned into a giant meatball. More than that, everyone around Lord amerk is turning into meatballs. Lord amerk starts to panic and run away, but after one step he realizes that his legs are no longer there. Instead he is turning into a round ball of meat. He starts to roll away and we see that he is now a large meatball with eyes and a mouth. He is still wearing his red hat which stays on top of him no matter how he rolls. The sky turns black and from high above, giant thick noodles emerge from all sides of the arena. They start to attack the meatballs, wrap around them, and pull them from the stadium. Lord amerk tries to roll away. He passes Lord cmcafeeky who is battling with a dozen noodles. They engulf him and turn him into a spaghetti pie. Lord amerk has almost escaped the arena, when a particularly massive noodle shoots out from the above opening to the arena. It wraps around Lord amerk and jerks him into the sky. Lord amerk wails as he is thrown over the edge of the arena. He vaults towards a colossal heap of spaghetti noodles waiting to devour him. We zoom in on Lord amerk’s face. His mouth is open wide, his eyes narrowed, sword gripped tight in his hands, and we hear him emit his final battle cry. “SPAGHETTIIIII!!!!!”

“My Lord, My Lord. Wake up, wake up!”

Lord amerk wakes up to a sunny morning on the practice courtyard. Standing over him is Sir Penny who is holding a sword on one hand and Lil’ Penny on the other. Lord amerk sits up and glances around. We hear the clang of steel and see that Sir Karl the Sitemail Man and Sir Charles of the Round Mound are still locked in endless battle. Near them, Sir Kawhi’s lifeless form is still powered down.

Sir Penny: “My Lord! He has finally arrived! He’s here!”

Lil’ Penny: “Now maybe you can finally get off your *** and coach us. You haven’t left this spot for weeks apart from that brief court appearance. How come you don’t coach your team and you’re always worried about Mr. Bucca Di Beppo? Maybe you’d start caring about me if I changed my name to Lil Penne.”

Sir Penny: “Hush Lil’ Penny. My Lord, he has finally arrived!”

Lord amerk: “Who? Who is here?”

Lil’ Penny: “Who do you think? The only one who makes your plot relevant at all.”

Sir Penny: “The Spaghetti Lord has finally arrived from Essos. His ship is just pulling in. We need to get you ready for battle!”

Lord amerk’s eyes narrow. “Spaghetti!!”

Cut to the shipyard where a great barge has just pulled in. Walking down the docks to the shore is the Spaghetti Lord himself, Lord albiband. He is dressed to the nines in a green designer cloak over white linens and is wearing bright red leather pants. He has a slim gold chain necklace around his neck. Waiting for him at the end of the docks are Sir Stockton and Sir Towns, both of whom look giddy with anticipation. Lord albiband approaches and kisses each knight twice, once on each cheek.

Sir Stockton: “My Lord, it is so wonderful of you to finally arrive. We have not been doing so well without a lord on the sidelines to guide us.”

Sir Towns: “Did you have a nice journey, My Lord?”

There is an awkward silence as the two knights wait for Lord albiband to respond. When no response comes, they continue talking.

Sir Stockton: “We are currently in last place, but now that you are here we are sure to rise in the standings. We might even be able to catch Lord amerk. You still haven’t selected our last three knights either. All of the other armies have made their selections. Once we have a full roster, we are sure to win some fights. Who are you planning on selecting?”

Lord albiband: “...”

Sir Towns: “Lord amerk has been waiting for you to arrive. He has been telling anyone who will listen that you are a dead man and only delaying your arrival because you know you will lose. But we know better.”

Sir Stockton: “We need to get you into your armor and head over there now actually. I don’t think Lord amerk will wait much longer. We should also figure out the rest of our army.”

Lord albiband starts waving his hands in exaggerated gestures. “The journey was pleasant, grazi.”

The two knights look at each other, concerned.

Sir Stockton: “My Lord, are you alright?”

Sir Towns: “Oh look, up ahead is Sir Grant of the Hill. He is to lead us to the courtyard. He was a mighty warrior in his day who looked to be a future champion. That is, if not for his Achilles Heel.”

Sir Stockton: “And what was that again, I forget?”

Sir Towns: “I told you, his Achilles Heel.”

Lord albiband: “I am quite alright, grazi. Yes, let’s go to the courtyard. My fight with destiny awaits.”

Cut to the practice courtyard where spectators have packed the stands. Waiting at midcourt is Lord amerk who is fully armored apart from his helm which he holds under one arm. On the other arm hangs a well-dressed woman with a sour look on her face. The pair watch as Lord albiband rides up to the courtyard. We zoom in on Lord albiband and his party of knights. Lord albiband dismounts and grabs for a flagon of wine.

Sir Stockton: “How was your horse ride, sir?”

Sir Towns: “You shouldn’t drink before a fight My Lord.”

Sir Stockton: “My Lord, that looks like very light armor, are you sure you don’t want to wear something a bit heavier?”

Lord albiband continues to drink and doesn’t bother responding to either.

Sir Towns: “The wine could get you killed, My Lord.”

Sir Stockton: “My Lord, at least wear a helmet.”

Lord albiband puts down the wine glass. “The horse ride was fine.” He steps forth and towards mid-court.

We zoom back in on Lord amerk and the woman at his side. Lord amerk is craning his neck and looking into the stands. “Where is your lord husband? I named him my second and now he doesn’t show up for the fight? It is most unlike him not to show up for a confrontation of any kind. Have you seen him?”

The woman next to Lord amerk scowls. “My lord husband does not often grace me with his presence. He is too often meandering around with his other sister to pay attention to me.”

Lord amerk: “It makes no matter. Lord cmcafeeky or not, the Spaghetti Lord has eaten his last meal.”

Lord cmcafeeky’s wife kisses Lord amerk deeply. “Do not leave me alone in this world. I cannot go back to my lord husband’s bed.”

Lord amerk grabs his sword and approaches Lord albiband. “You have made me wait for the last time Spaghetti Lord. Draw your steel and let’s cook. How do you like your pasta done?”

Lord albiband: “...”

Lord amerk: “WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS DELAYING YOUR ANSWERS?!? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!”

Lord albiband: “…”

Lord amerk: “LISTEN HERE YOU FOREIGN F*CK, WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?”

Up in the stands, several lords from the crowd chime in.

Lord dBKC: “Hey, that’s uncalled for. You don’t need to bring swear words to a fight to the death.”

Lord ashamael: “Yes, chill out lord Amerk”

Lord brad of the Longest and Tallest House yawns deeply. Lord Gerry the Red closes his eyes and covers his ears.

Lord Amerk: “AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO SEES THIS MADNESS?!? IT WAS A SIMPLE QUESTION AND HE HAS NO RESPONSE WHATSOEVER. THIS IS UNCALLED FOR!”

Lord albiband: “…”

Lord Amerk starts kicking the barrels that are in the arena and throws his dagger on the ground. “IT IS BUT A SIMPLE QUESTION. WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?! DO THE REST OF YOU NOT SEE THIS RIDICULOUSNESS?!?” He takes his helmet off and punts it into the stands. “I KNOW HE SPEAKS THE COMMON TONGUE...THIS IS LUNACY!”

Lord albiband: “…”

Lord amerk starts walking up the stairs of the arena and is now in the stands. He grabs lord ashamael’s head and turns it towards Lord albiband, who is still standing speechless in the arena, sword still sheathed. Lord amerk points at Lord albiband and asks Lord ashamael, “DO YOU NOT THINK THIS IS RIDICULOUS?!?”

Lord ashamael removes the hand of Lord amerk from his face with a distasteful look. “Have some empathy for once in your miserable life. And don’t presume to touch me again.”

Lord amerk feigns mock horror: “OH I'M SORRY! Did I offend one of the KOOL KIDS?! If it had been Lord jhsukow or Lord robusk who was upset with these delays, everyone would be fine with it. If Lord dh555 or Lord benhoidal, wherever they are, had condemned the Spaghetti Knight, he would have been banished back home to whichever barren land he claims to be from. But no, since it is I, Lord albiband gets to stay here in my great country and gets a participation trophy despite coming in last place. I’M SICK OF IT! I’m just going to crawl back to my hole until the end of this forsaken tournament.” He turns to look at Lord ashamael. “I hope you will save some of your so called empathy for me when I delay the final tilts by not showing up!”

Lord amerk continues up the arena steps and leaves the viewing area, now ranting to the concession vendors. Lord cmcafeeky’s sister wife hikes up her dress and follows him out.

The camera cuts back to the sideline of the courtyard where Sir Stockton, Sir Towns, and Sir Penny are standing flabbergasted.

Sir Stockton: “What did he mean, crawl back into his hole?”

Lil’ Penny: “He meant his *sshole!”

Sir Penny: “Hush, Lil’ Penny. No, Lord amerk dug a giant hole just outside of his keep that he has been living in for quite some time. Nobody knows why.”

Lil’ Penny: “Dug his own grave more like!”

Sir Karl points at Lord albiband who is still standing motionless in the middle of the courtyard, sword still sheathed. He sighs. “I guess we will always be in last place. I had such high hopes for this Lord’s arrival. It seems I will never have a capable lord on the sidelines to help mold my talent.”

The crowd begins to disperse and soon the practice courtyard is empty aside from Lord albiband, who is still standing motionless at mid-court. The camera zooms in on the Spaghetti Lord. His face turns slowly towards the camera. He unsheathes his dagger, holds it out in front of him, and says, “I like my pasta… al dente.

Our screen goes black and white block letters take over the screen: GAME OF ZONES.

Big thanks to dBKC who really helped with this episode when I was stuck. Almost all the funny parts are his!

Lil Penne: Lord Amerk, why do I find you here bending your knee to the lady golfers?

Lord Amerk: I’m not bending my knee you Lil’tard. I believe I have been poisoned. My knees hath been weakened and my arms growith heavy.

Lil’ Penne: My lord! There is vomit on your armor already!

Lord Amerk: (looks into the camera) Albiband’s Spaghetti.

Posted by jhsukow on 9/30/2020 6:26:00 PM (view original):
Lil Penne: Lord Amerk, why do I find you here bending your knee to the lady golfers?

Lord Amerk: I’m not bending my knee you Lil’tard. I believe I have been poisoned. My knees hath been weakened and my arms growith heavy.

Lil’ Penne: My lord! There is vomit on your armor already!

Lord Amerk: (looks into the camera) Albiband’s Spaghetti.

I want a bardcore battle between Lord jhsukow and Dame the Bard now.

Posted by benhoidal on 10/1/2020 6:11:00 PM (view original):

Posted by jhsukow on 9/30/2020 6:26:00 PM (view original):
Lil Penne: Lord Amerk, why do I find you here bending your knee to the lady golfers?

Lord Amerk: I’m not bending my knee you Lil’tard. I believe I have been poisoned. My knees hath been weakened and my arms growith heavy.

Lil’ Penne: My lord! There is vomit on your armor already!

Lord Amerk: (looks into the camera) Albiband’s Spaghetti.

I want a bardcore battle between Lord jhsukow and Dame the Bard now.

maybe we found the interesting thing about my episode because it certainly won't be our play in the tournament.

Season 2 - Episode 18: The Doctor Is In
Upon a dark background, white block letters say ‘PREVIOUSLY ON GAME OF ZONES’. The Os are filled in as though they are basketballs.

Scene opens to a great feast where two lords lay choking on the ground. Somebody yells to get a medic, and jcred5 hurries off quickly, exclaiming: “I’ll go get Dr. J.”

Cut to the practice courtyard where Sir Giannis is standing over a wounded Sir Kareem.

Sir Kareem: “I saved your lord’s life at the feast. Please show mercy!”

Sir Giannis slams his shield down on top of the fallen knight.

Cut to Sir Kareem being taken off the courtyard on a gurney being pulled by Dr. J.

Cut to the Hand of the King, Lord dh555 who is sitting behind his desk and addressing his knights. “We need to stop them. Whatever means necessary. If we can’t beat them during the tournament, we need to attack at night, target their key fighters, make them incapable of participating.”

Cut to a hooded man in the back of a dark tavern who is holding a vial of a dark liquid. “Put two drops of this into Sir Giannis’s drink the next time you see him. One sip and Sir Giannis will never think of leaving again.”

Sir Conley takes the vial and stands up. “Oh thank you kind sir. We shall depart to see Sir Giannis right away.”

The screen darkens to black and we see a disclaimer in white letters appear: ALL CHARACTERS AND EVENTS IN THIS CARTOON, EVEN THOSE BASED ON REAL PEOPLE, ARE FICTIONAL AND ALL VOICES ARE OBVIOUSLY IMPERSONATED. The letters disappear and new letters take its place: GAME OF ZONES. The Os are basketballs. These letters too disappear and a cartoon knight is seen dribbling a basketball between his legs next to new letters: SEASON 2 - EPISODE 18: The Doctor Is In

Scene opens to a wide shot of the streets of King’s Landing. People are streaming out of homes and shops and making their way towards the main courtyard. Everyone is in a jovial mood. Street vendors are selling autographed swords and helmets along with various custom made chain-mail armor with the names of different knights engraved on the back. Up ahead looms the great arena, the massive fighting courtyard where all the battles are held. As our camera follows along the road, we suddenly take a sharp turn down a narrow street that is empty of people. The stores on this street are all boarded up. Off to the side, we see a large pothole that seems to have been dug out recently. As the camera moves up the street, we see Lord amerk curled up in the hole. At the very end of the street, a gigantic tent has been set up. A flap is pulled back and we enter.

Inside, row upon row of straw beds filled with injured knights greet our camera. Calmly gliding from bed to bed, we see the unmistakable Afro that can only belong to the best medic the Savage Lands have ever known: Dr. J.

Dr. J is walking towards the beds near the front of the tent. He is carrying a tray with a set of clean bandages and ice packs. There are also two frothy mugs, one with a green liquid inside and the other with a dark cloudy beverage. He passes a bed where Dame the Bard is lying down with a splint on his finger and a cast over his right knee. He is holding his violin in his hands and singing a song for all to hear.

“Lords gathered round and swords were drawn,
To see who would have the first pick.
When the sword that was drawn was for bds,
Sir LeBron got a little sick.”

Dr. J approaches one of the straw beds near the front of the tent and we see Sir Kareem who has both legs held up in the air by straps and is covered in bloody bandages. On the bed next to him, Sir Giannis is retching into a bucket.

Sir Kareem: “Serves you right for how you treated me. What were you playing at? And even after I saved your lord's life.”

Sir Giannis throws up into his bucket without responding.

Dr. J starts to unwrap Sir Kareem’s bloody bandages and replaces them with fresh ones.

Dr. J: “At least you got to fight in the tournament. With all of the injuries happening to all the knights, the Lord Hand won’t let me participate. Just because I have a medical degree I have to stay here all day and night and don’t even get to fight. My Lord, jcred5, didn’t draft me in the first round for me to sit here all day away from the action. No wonder he is doing so poorly in the tilts. He is too good an owner to be in the bottom six otherwise. Although he did seem to be more worried about getting his picks in quickly than actually selecting the best knights. No wonder why they all ended up in here.”

Dr. J points down a row of straw beds and we see Sir Rondo, the Turtle Knight, Sir Blake, the Griffin Knight, Sir Mark Jackson the Smug for No Reason, Sir Ibaka, the Rejecter, and Sir Wallace of the Afro Knights.

Sir Kareem points to Sir Ibaka and Sir Wallace. “What did you expect when your lord drafted those two to back you up? Your squad needed more offense and they’ve never gone on the attack in their lives.”

Dr. J: “Lord jcred5 is always saying that the best offense is a good defense.”

Sir Kareem: “Judging by your record, apparently not.”

Dr. J: “Well maybe we would be doing better if he had selected Sir Kerr instead of Sir Mark Jackson.”

Sir Rondo pipes up from his sickbed: “It’s because Lord jcred5 is playing checkers when other teams are playing vertical checkers.”

Sir Blake looks confused next to him. “Vertical checkers?”

Sir Rondo: “Yes, it’s this new game where you have to connect four of your checkers in a row. I’m very good. I defeat the children all the time.”

Sir Blake: “Hey, I have a new joke for you. What’s the difference between bds9992 and a tree?”

Sir Rondo: “...”

Sir Blake: “A tree has more rings!”

Sir Rondo: “...”

Sir Blake: “What? It’s funny!”

Sir Rondo: “You’ve already used that one on me. Plus, bds9992 is in third place and has a very good chance at winning one of the five tournaments. Hasn’t he been the butt of enough jokes lately? I think it’s time to give him some credit.”

Sir Blake: “Okay, how about this one? Why do they call him Lord jcred5 anyways? Are there four other jcreds running around? One for each tournament?”

Sir Rondo: “Don’t quit your day job Sir Blake. I swear, ever since you tried that jump attack over the carriage and hit your head, none of your jokes have been funny.”

Sir Blake dejectedly hangs his head.

Dr. J points over to a set of straw beds on the other side of the tent. “Well at least our team isn’t doing as poorly as theirs.”

Our camera pans over and we see Sir Stockton and Sir Towns of House albiband. Next to them we see knights from the lords, jpevans31, ysw128, jhsukow, and goetz93.

Dr. J: “None of their lords have any hope of winning the tournament and ascending the throne.”

Sir Blake points to a heap of bodies lying on the ground at the back of the tent. “And what about them? Why don’t they get beds?”

Dr. J: “Oh those are Lord tarheel’s knights. They are dead. Slayed by Sir Michael of Jordan for not practicing hard enough. I think it is just Sir Michael and Sir Melo on that team now. Somehow, Lord tarheel is still in the middle of the pack. Now that you are out for the season, Sir Kareem, your lord has little chance of finishing as high.”

Sir Kareem points at Sir Giannis. “That’s because of this Freak!”

Sir Giannis promptly pukes into his bucket.

Dr. J sighs: “I just wish I could be out there fighting. It would make all the difference for my lord, I know it! After all, I did take third in the Savage War fighting for Lord benhoidal. But, he isn’t doing as well this time either. It’s because he doesn’t have me by his side fighting for him again.”

Sir Kareem: “Do you still talk with Lord benhoidal? Word is that he has shut himself off from watching the fights and has been holed up inside his tent. He’s up to something in there. I’m sure of it.”

Dr. J: “Actually I saw him just this morning. In fact it was him who brewed these potions and told me to give one of them to Sir Giannis to heal his sickness.”

He hands one of the mugs filled with the green beverage to Sir Giannis who removes his head from his bucket and swallows the potion rapidly.

Just then, the front tent flap swings open and a gurney is led into the tent. Dr. J quickly gets up and rushes towards the sick man. We see that it is Sir Kyrie of House ashamael.

Dr. J: “Another knight who wasn’t even involved in this afternoon’s tilts. That makes six just today. Is there no place safe in this cursed city?” Dr. J looks over Sir Kyrie quickly. “Wow. I’ve never seen so many injuries for one knight. What happened?”

Sir Kyrie: “I was attacked! I was walking with Sir JaVale to the arena for our fight this afternoon and we were set upon by brigands! They wore the armor of knights, but their visors were down and we couldn’t see their faces. I told Sir JaVale to go get help, but he ran the wrong way. It was one on five, just the way I like it, but they proved to be too much. After they beat me bloody, they ran away, but not before I saw it.”

Dr. J: “Saw what?”

Sir Kyrie: “Resting on the shoulders of one of the knights was a great snake, a black mamba. It was Sir Kobe! They were the Hand’s men, they’ve been attacking everyone. It’s a conspiracy straight from the top!”

A hush falls over the sick bay. Sir Kareem and Dr. J share a tension filled glance. Then, all at once, everyone in the tent begins to laugh in unison.

Dr. J: “Oh Sir Kyrie! You and your crazy theories always crack me up. Remember when you claimed that dragons were real? Or when you thought you saw a velociraptor, but it turned out to just be my teammate, Sir Bosh?”

Sir Kyrie: “There really was a dragon! I saved the princess!”

Dr. J chuckles and grabs the second potion from his tray. “I’m sure you did. Here, take this. It was made specially for you. Everything will feel better tomorrow.”

Sir Kyrie takes the potion and tilts it towards his mouth. Our camera zooms in on the dark cloudy substance until it is all we see. White block letters take over the screen: GAME OF ZONES.

nooooo! Stay away from Kyrie, you bastard!

Sir Mark Jackson the Smug for No Reason

That killed me... as did the "Should have got Kerr instead"

Season 2 - Episode 19: La Calma Prima Della Tempesta
Upon a dark background, white block letters say ‘PREVIOUSLY ON GAME OF ZONES’. The Os are filled in as though they are basketballs.

Scene opens to the great council chamber where the lords of the realm are waiting for dh555’s decision.

Lord dh555: “It has been decided. With no heirs to the throne the only fair way to decide the succession is to hold a great tourney.”

A loud murmur goes through the chamber.

Lord dh555: “All of the lords assembled here today shall compete for the throne.”

Cut to a great feast where Lord dh555 is again addressing the Lords of the realm.

Lord dh555: “Lords, this tournament shall be like none other this realm has ever known. Preliminary rounds shall last six weeks. Then, we shall have five great final tournaments held, with the winners sparring off until only one remains. Whoever amongst you shall reign victorious shall be named the next King of the SAVAGE LANDS.”

The screen darkens to black and we see a disclaimer in white letters appear: ALL CHARACTERS AND EVENTS IN THIS CARTOON, EVEN THOSE BASED ON REAL PEOPLE, ARE FICTIONAL AND ALL VOICES ARE OBVIOUSLY IMPERSONATED. The letters disappear and new letters take its place: GAME OF ZONES. The Os are basketballs. These letters too disappear and a cartoon knight is seen dribbling a basketball between his legs next to new letters: SEASON 2 - EPISODE 19: La Calma Prima Della Tempesta

Scene opens to the great fighting courtyard where all the fights are held. Crowds are filling into the arena in droves and we follow them in and into the stands. On the sidelines at mid-court, a large box has been set up. Inside we see the Hand of the King, Lord dh555, along with the rest of the lords that have made the final tilts in at least one of the five tournaments. Our camera focuses on each of the lords in turn. In the front row, Lord pexetera is looking smug sitting atop a finely crafted stone throne, he carved himself. Next to him, Lord dBKC is scarfing down birthday cake. To his left, bds9992 is extremely anxious and mentally going through a series of ii-V’s descending in whole-steps to calm himself down. In the middle of the front row, Lord dh555 is getting ready to make a speech. Lord mptrey is walking down the aisle to his empty seat, apologizing to everyone as he goes past. Lord ashamael is wearing a white cloak over what looks to be red robes underneath. At the end of the row sits Lord 24kpyrite whose bald head is covered in glitter. He reeks of scented oils and is asking Lord ashamael if he has any more single gold coins. In the next row back, Lord Gerry the Red is covering his eyes with one hand as his other hand tries to plug his ears. Next to him, Lord pharrop is absentmindedly patting the head of Lord Brad of the Longest and Tallest House whose head is resting on Lord pharrop’s shoulder deep in sleep. There is an empty chair to the left of them and we zoom in quickly to see a name tag for Lord benhoidal. To the left, Lord tarheel is looking from the empty chair on his right to the one on his left in confusion. We see that the next chair was meant for Lord cmcafeeky. Lord robusk sits next to the empty chair and is furiously calculating something on his abacus. In the back row on the far left is another empty chair, this one with a name tag for Lord 20ks. Next to it sits Lord mikee, first of his name who is trying to get Lord dskantor to make increasingly complicated side bets with him on the fights. There is another empty chair with a name tag for Lord amerk and to the left of that is Lord jcred5 who is getting ready to time Lord dh555’s speech. Lord goetz93 sits next to him and is furiously taking notes on the other Lords. At the very end of the row, Lord jhsukow has out a sketchpad. We zoom in on it and see he is drawing a cartoon with caricatures of the other Lords.

There are two smaller boxes next to the main one, one on either side. We swing to the box on the left where we see the lords that failed to make the final tilts: Lords albiband, jpevans31, and ysw128. Lord ysw128 seems to have gone mad, muttering, “If only I could find my shift key. I seem to have lost my shift key. Where is my shift key?”. Lord jpevans31 is talking to Lord albiband who is only half paying attention as his full concentration is fixated on the Cyvasse board in between them.

Lord jpevans31: “I don’t know what happened. Lord albiband, you weren’t here during the Savage War. Did you know I placed in the top third of all lords? I took eighth place. I was ahead of Lords robusk and ashamael and everything. I didn’t expect to win this tournament or anything, but I certainly didn’t think I would end up twenty-third, only ahead of you. I guess that’s what happens when your top knight is more interested in wearing dresses and going to balls than in fighting. Say, Lord albiband, did you ever resolve your duel with Lord amerk?”

Lord albiband moves his trebuchet across the board to capture a crossbowman. “No. Che Importa?”

Lord jpevans31 moves a spearman forward. “Shame, I would have loved to see that fight. Lord amerk certainly didn’t make many friends during the selection process, but I actually agreed with him on most of his points. You really do need to learn how to send proxy pigeons. Say, did you hear there might be another Savage War after this one?”

Lord albiband moves one of his catapults to the side, which frees up his elephant. “No. Non crede che gli stranieri dovrebbero partecipare a questo torneo.”

Lord jpevans31 looks confused at both what Lord albiband is saying and at the Cyvasse board. He moves his dragon diagonally away from his king to capture the catapult. “Well it looks like Lord pexetera will probably win the tournament and become King. I heard some rumblings that the ‘Kool Kids’ as Lord amerk likes to call them, might not be okay with this and may try to unseat him with one of their own. Lord dBKC is probably their best shot. If Lord pexetera does win, look for there to be another war and lords will have to choose sides. I haven’t decided yet, I may side with Lords dBKC, ashamael, jhsukow and robusk because they seem more fun to party with. If only Lord benhoidal wasn’t a part of their group. Do you know which side you will choose to be on?”

Lord albiband, moves his elephant forward to block the dragon which frees up his own dragon. “No. Ci saranno più xenofobi?”

Lord jpevans31 moves his dragon away to capture the elephant. “On the other hand, sometimes they just get drunk and make fun of the court jester. Maybe it’s time for some new leadership. I hope you decide to join us wherever we go although you will have to get better at strategy. You should never leave your elephant unprotected. Would you like me to teach you some basic moves?”

Lord albiband moves his own dragon across the board and diagonal from Lord jpevans31’s King. “Sono il mio uomo. Combatto per la giustizia. A proposito, perdi.”

Lord jpevans31 frowns at the board. “I guess you are better at Cyvasse than you are at selecting knights. He then turns to talk to Lord ysw128. “Well at least now that we are out of the tournament, we have more time to frequent brothels.”

The camera lingers on Lord albiband and we hear him say, “Non ho bisogno di aiuto strategico. Aspetta solo la prossima guerra. Vi inchinerete tutti al signore degli spaghetti.”

We cut to the right of the main box, where we see the highborn ladies of the realm. Sir Rodman is also there, wearing his best dress. There are two empty seats next to him. Two highborn ladies enter the box and go to sit down next to Sir Rodman in the empty chairs. One is quite good looking, the other is not. The good looking one is looking around frantically at the other two boxes.

Lord cmcafeeky’s sister/lover: “Where could he be? I haven’t seen him since that day at the brothel. It isn’t like him to stay away from my bed this long.”

Lord cmcafeeky’s sister/wife: “Who cares? Our brother has never been anything but a red necked impotent scoundrel and I fear he may be possessed as he always speaks in tongues.”

Lord cmcafeeky’s sister/lover slaps her sister. “How dare you? Our brother was the one who set me up in the brothel in the first place. It’s the highest paying gig I ever had.”

Sir Rodman leans over. “I know how you feel, Madame. I’ve often felt like the best prostitute in a high-class whore house, but all the other girls get paid more than I do.”

Lord cmcafeeky’s sister/lover turns her nose up at Sir Rodman. “And who are you supposed to be? Why are you wearing women’s clothes?”

Sir Rodman: “I am Sir Rodman of House jpevans31 and I’ll be the judge of my own manliness.”

Lord cmcafeeky’s sister/lover: “Why is a knight such as yourself not in the courtyard getting ready to fight?”

Sir Rodman: “My lord has already been knocked out I’m afraid. Didn’t know how to use me. Did you know I was the leading commander at the Battle of the Raging Bulls in the first Savage War? Lord Brad of the Longest and Tallest House was supposed to be in charge, but he fell asleep just before the fighting started. Sir Wade and myself led the charge and defeated the Late King Kinoa.”

Lord cmcafeeky’s sisters don’t look impressed and so Sir Rodman continues. “I wish Lord jpevans31 had surrounded me with someone like Sir Wade this time. Sir Klay just wants to practice archery all the time and Sir Zo is always taking bathroom breaks during the middle of our fights. And don’t get me started on the end of the bench! Sir Buse? Sir Crowder? Are you kidding me? And then that Green knight. I thought we were getting Sir Draymond, or at least Sir Danny. Alas, it was Sir Johnny. Doesn’t Lord jpevans31 know that I am a support knight, who needs to be surrounded by stars and not the other way around? When he selected Sir Lacey, I thought I was getting a new dress!”

Lord cmcafeeky’s sister/lover: “I guess we both wish you were down below fighting then.”

Sir Rodman: “I’m glad we got knocked out of the tourney actually. I do prefer the gown to chainmail. Much breather in the nether regions.”

Lord cmcafeeky’s sisters both give Sir Rodman a sour look and exit their seats.

We swing back to the main box, where Lord dh555 steps towards the front to address the crowd. “Ladies and Gentlemen of Westeros. Six weeks ago began the greatest tournament this realm has ever known. We have seen bloodshed, glory, and some of the best fighting in history. But, we are not done yet. The seeding rounds are over, and we have narrowed the field down. There will be five champions of these final tilts, and the one who scores highest overall shall be crowned champion and King of the Land!” He steps away for a second and grabs a purple pillow upon which rests a large ornate crown. He hoists it into the air in front of him and exclaims, “Let the playoffs begin!”

The crowd all around roars in appreciation as our screen goes black and white block letters take over the screen: GAME OF ZONES.

I meant to comment earlier and I know this was a filler episode, but there is a lot of good stuff in here Ben. I don't know how you keep churning these out. Very impressive.

quoting the episode:
"One is quite good looking, the other is not"

BOTH are smoking hot....

Next time I'm in Minnesota,
I'd remove my riding gloves, and use them to slap you across the face and challenge you to a duel of some kind..

(as long as our duel doesnt pertain to 'largest dagger')

Posted by cmcafeeky on 10/11/2020 9:59:00 AM (view original):
quoting the episode:
"One is quite good looking, the other is not"

BOTH are smoking hot....

Next time I'm in Minnesota,
I'd remove my riding gloves, and use them to slap you across the face and challenge you to a duel of some kind..

(as long as our duel doesnt pertain to 'largest dagger')

Hey man, at least I gave your "not good looking" sister to amerk. You got the good looking one!

Sim Devil episode will be released tonight! Hopefully just before the finals.

20ks episode will drop tomorrow.

Season 2 - Episode 20: Hope You Guessed My Name
Upon a dark background, white block letters say ‘PREVIOUSLY ON GAME OF ZONES’. The Os are filled in as though they are basketballs.

Scene opens to a dungeon where an unkempt bds9992 is looking from shoulder to shoulder. On his left shoulder is the image of Lord ashamael in a white cloak. On his right, we see Lord benhoidal wearing the robes of a red priest. Two short horns protrude from his forehead.

bds9992: “Aren’t you two supposed to disagree on everything?”

Lord benhoidal: “Actually, ash and I agree on almost everything.”

Lord ashamael: “No, we are very different. Just look at our different colored robes!”

Lord benhoidal reaches around bds9992’s neck and lifts the bottom of Lord ashamael’s white cloak to reveal the robes of a red priest underneath. “You just took that white cloak from one of your players, didn’t you?”

Cut to the injury tent where a hobbled Sir Kareem is talking to Dr. J.

Sir Kareem: “Do you still talk with Lord benhoidal? Word is that he has shut himself off from watching the fights and has been holed up inside his tent. He’s up to something in there. I’m sure of it.”

Cut to the Tower of the Hand, where Lord dh555 is sitting at his desk, his eyes glossed over. To his left, a shadow is shimmering in the air.

A voice from the shadows emerges. “Soon, the throne will be mine. We will destroy the other Lords of the Realm using this tournament as a ruse. I will emerge victorious and be crowned the Savage King.”

From out of the shadows, we see two pointed horns emerge. Underneath, the face of Lord benhoidal comes into view grinning wickedly from ear to ear. He tilts his head back and lets loose a maniacal laugh.

The screen darkens to black and we see a disclaimer in white letters appear: ALL CHARACTERS AND EVENTS IN THIS CARTOON, EVEN THOSE BASED ON REAL PEOPLE, ARE FICTIONAL AND ALL VOICES ARE OBVIOUSLY IMPERSONATED. The letters disappear and new letters take its place: GAME OF ZONES. The Os are basketballs. These letters too disappear and a cartoon knight is seen dribbling a basketball between his legs next to new letters: SEASON 2 - EPISODE 20: Hope You Guessed My Name

Scene opens to two knights riding horses up a winding road in King’s Landing. It is dark out, and the wind is blowing fiercely. The knights are wearing the maroon and gold armor of House benhoidal. One of them has a white cloak billowing in the wind. We see that it is Sir Anthony of Brow and Sir Bobby. On both sides of the road, they pass great tents adorned with the sigils of different lords. Up ahead at the very end of the road past all of the tents, we see a great fortress. It has been shaped from stone to look like a devil, with two high towers ending in points. Devil architecture can be seen all around the outside of the fortress such as small devils framing the main gates and others holding lit torches or three pronged pitchforks.

Sir Anthony: “Have you ever actually met our Lord?”

Sir Bobby: “No. He hasn’t been seen since the trial.”

Sir Anthony: “I’m always hearing about what a great Lord he is, yet here we are in the middle of the pack entering the playoffs, with almost no shot at winning it all.”

Sir Bobby: “I was told of his brilliance too. After fighting for King Kinoa in the Savage War, I was expecting more than this.”

Sir Anthony: “I miss fighting with Sir LeBron. Sir Artis is fine, but it is not the same. And then there’s the Boogie Knight. How are we supposed to fight when he demands to be the only one with a sword? Why did Lord benhoidal select Sir Cousins anyways? Everybody knows that if you try to coach him, he will just sabotage your whole team.”

Sir Bobby: “If we don’t win the tournament, do you think I will have to give up my white cloak? I was so excited after Lord benhoidal drafted me. I thought I would get to keep it.”

Sir Anthony: “Don’t you think it is a bit strange that he hasn’t attended a single one of our fights?”

Sir Bobby: “I’m sure he has been busy.”

Sir Anthony: “Busy with what? Do you think he has been casting spells that will help us win in these final tournaments?”

Sir Bobby: “Casting spells? Don’t tell me you believe all those rumors about him.”

Sir Anthony: “I hear that he’s a powerful sorcerer who can clone knights.”

Sir Bobby: “That’s just a tale, there’s no truth to it.”

Sir Anthony: “Speaking of tails, I hear that he has one, along with a forked tongue.”

Sir Bobby: “Just a rumor started by the Bastard of Bolton, slashtc.”

Sir Anthony: “I hear that sometimes he doesn’t even show up for his fights, just to enrage the other lords.”

Sir Bobby: “Not tr… well, actually, that one is true.”

Sir Anthony: “I hear that he preys on the young and survives off their blood.”

Sir Bobby: “Nonsense!”

Sir Anthony: “I hear that Lord benhoidal can turn straw into gold.”

Sir Bobby: “Well yes, but once he trades it, it turns back to straw.”

Sir Anthony: “So you don’t believe any of it then? None of the rumors?”

Sir Bobby: “I guess we will see.”

They have made it to the great front gates of the fortress, which looms high above them. They tie up their horses and approach. The gates swing open on their own accord and Sir Anthony and Sir Bobby glance at each other quickly and pause before entering. In front of them is a great hall adorned with devilish statues all around. To their left is a winding staircase formed by what looks to be a pointed tail as a bannister. The two knights head up the staircase. At the top, pale moonlight streams through a high arching window, putting a spotlight on two great red doors carved with many devilish gargoyles. From beyond them we hear faint screams and shrieks. We see horned shadows pass by on the other side. There is an old fashioned knocker in the middle of each of the two doors, shaped into a grinning devil. Lord Anthony reaches out and gives one of the doors a loud knock.

The sounds stop. A moment later, the doors swing open and there in front of us is Lord benhoidal. He is wearing the robes of a red priest, and from underneath his hood, we can just see two pointed horns protruding from his head. Lord benhoidal looks the visitors up and down with a quick glance. “What do you want?”

Lord Anthony and Lord Bobby exchange a look.

Lord Anthony: “My Lord, you called us here to your fortress.”

Lord benhoidal: “Oh yes, come on in.”

The two knights follow him inside and we see a large round room. In the middle there is a large table, about fifty feet long, painted in the shape of a detailed map of Westeros. Behind the table, we see seven statues, each carved to represent one of the seven gods of the sim. Each one has been given devilish features. Beyond them, seven high arching windows overlook the coastline. To the left of the table we see three sizable cauldrons full of potions. The largest of the cauldrons has deep green substance in it which is bubbling softly. Next to it, in a slightly smaller cauldron, is a dark, cloudy liquid that is frothing slightly over the edge. In the tiny cauldron on the end is a flat golden elixir. To the right of the table sits a grand fireplace with towering flames reaching almost to the ceiling. We pause for a moment on the fire within. Shapes start to form. Faces appear, seemingly in anguish, but we can’t quite make them out. Next to the fireplace is a maroon door with the outline of a golden devil on it. There is no handle or knocker of any kind. We hear a pounding from the inside of this door, followed by some muffled shouts.

Lord benhoidal mutters something from under his breath and the noise stops. He turns back towards the two knights.

Sir Bobby: “My Lord, what was that sou…?”

Lord benhoidal: “Never mind the closet, just something I am working on.”

Sir Anthony: “Something that will help us in the tournament?”

Lord benhoidal: “Yes, it will definitely help me.”

Sir Bobby: “But, My Lord, how do you plan on winning? Lord pexetera is too far ahead.”

Lord benhoidal: “Nonsense. I just have to win all four tournaments that I am in.”

Sir Anthony: “But, My Lord, we are only still playing in three of the five tournaments?”

Lord benhoidal: “Yes, I meant three.”

Sir Bobby: “Well, we trust you, My Lord. You have won more tournaments than any other knight.”

Upon hearing this, Lord benhoidal’s left eye starts to twitch and we see a flicker of annoyance cross his face.

Lord benhoidal: “Sir Bobby, I see you still wear the white cloak of the Kingsguard?”

Sir Bobby: “Yes, My Lord. Until there is a new king, I will wear this cloak proudly.”

Lord benhoidal narrows his eyes and turns towards the three cauldrons. We hear him mutter, “The one that got away.”

A goblet materializes out of thin air and into his hand. We see that it is filled to the brim with the green bubbly liquid from the largest of the three cauldrons. He turns back around and hands it to Sir Anthony, who crinkles his nose in disgust.

Lord benhoidal: “This is why I have called you here today. Bring this goblet to our battle with Lord ashamael on the morrow. Have all of your knights drink deeply from it.”

Lord Anthony: “But My Lord, there isn’t enough for us all!”

Lord benhoidal: “Oh, you will find that this goblet is never empty as long as it is whole. Once you have all had your fill, victory will be found at the bottom.”

Sir Bobby: “My Lord, pardon my asking, but are you sure this will work? I mean, magic isn’t real.”

Lord benhoidal, narrows his eyes and raises his arms. The flames in the fireplace turn the color of sapphires and leap out towards Sir Bobby, fully engulfing him inside. Sir Bobby screams.

Lord Anthony rushes forth toward the fire, then turns to Lord benhoidal. “What have you done?!”

Sir Bobby’s voice echoes around the room. “It’s alright Sir Anthony. It’s not hot. Cool actually. It kind of tickles.”

The flames swirl around Sir Bobby, then leave him and shoot into Lord benhoidal’s outstretched hand, where they hover in a small orb. The rest of the room has gone pitch black. Lord benhoidal thrusts his arm forward once more and the flames shoot back into the fireplace, but maintain their new color. This time, there are definitely faces flickering in the flames. We faintly hear the whine of their screams.

Sir Anthony is staring at his teammate with his mouth agape. We see that Sir Bobby has grown at least a foot, and has new muscles that he didn’t have before.

Sir Bobby: “Woah!”

Lord benhoidal: “Do not doubt me again Sir Bobby. If it wasn’t for the meddling of the other red priest, I would be in first place in the tilts. Because of his magic, I started near the bottom, but my rise is imminent. It took me a couple of moons to figure out why it was that I was doing so poorly, but magic always leaves a trace. He has been dealt with. Now it is time to claim what is mine! Take the goblet. Have each knight drink deeply. Victory will be mine at last!”

The two knights exit the room. We hear the patter of their feet going down the staircase. Lord benhoidal smirks. He slowly turns towards the maroon door. We hear another thud against it from the inside and Lord benhoidal creeps towards it, taking his time. He stretches out a hand and tickles the devil on the door. It starts to dance and the door swings open. We see a figure curled on the floor in a fetal position. A glowing golden rope is tied across its body and hands. From the glow of the rope we can just make out two pointed horns on the figure’s head. We zoom in slightly and its features come in to focus. It is Lord benhoidal.

Our camera angle shifts and we are looking out from inside the closet into the main room. We hear a whimper from behind us. Ahead of us, framed in the doorway and wearing the same red robes, we see the figure who a second before was in the image of Lord benhoidal. The air shimmers in front of the figure’s face for a second before clearing and we can see who is behind the illusion.

Lord ashamael: “Hello again, old friend.”

Our screen goes black and white block letters take over the screen: GAME OF ZONES.