Season 2 - Episode 23: The Ford
Upon a dark background, white block letters say ‘PREVIOUSLY ON GAME OF ZONES’. The Os are filled in as though they are basketballs.
Scene opens to the injury tent where Dr. J is seen treating a number of knights for various injuries.
Sir Blake points to a heap of bodies lying on the ground at the back of the tent. “And what about them? Why don’t they get beds?”
Dr. J: “Oh those are Lord tarheel’s knights. They are dead. Slayed by Sir Michael of Jordan for not practicing hard enough. I think it is just Sir Michael and Sir Melo on that team now. Somehow, Lord tarheel is still in the middle of the pack.”
Cut to the stands in the great arena. We focus in on Lord pharrop, who is absentmindedly patting the head of Lord Brad of the Longest and Tallest House. Lord Brad’s head is resting on Lord pharrop’s shoulder deep in sleep. Next to them, Lord dh555 steps towards the front to address the crowd. “Ladies and Gentlemen of Westeros. Six weeks ago began the greatest tournament this realm has ever known. We have seen bloodshed, glory, and some of the best fighting in history. But, we are not done yet. The seeding rounds are over, and we have narrowed the field down. There will be five champions of these final tilts, and the one who scores highest overall shall be crowned champion and King of the Land!” He steps away for a second and grabs a purple pillow upon which rests a large ornate crown. He hoists it into the air in front of him and exclaims, “Let the playoffs begin!”
The screen darkens to black and we see a disclaimer in white letters appear: ALL CHARACTERS AND EVENTS IN THIS CARTOON, EVEN THOSE BASED ON REAL PEOPLE, ARE FICTIONAL AND ALL VOICES ARE OBVIOUSLY IMPERSONATED. The letters disappear and new letters take its place: GAME OF ZONES. The Os are basketballs. These letters too disappear and a cartoon knight is seen dribbling a basketball between his legs next to new letters: SEASON 2 - EPISODE 23: The Ford
Scene opens to the great arena in the middle of King’s Landing. The clang of swords upon shields rings through the courtyard as we take in the scene. There are five battles happening at once. We zoom in briefly on the sidelines of the first battle courtyard. The fights in this part of the arena have already finished and Lord dh555, Lord pexetera, and bds9992 are all looking smug. Lord amerk’s knights are rushing off the field victorious as well, but their lord is nowhere to be seen. On the sidelines of the second courtyard, Lord dBKC and 24kpyrite have emerged victorious. All of the other battles are still going on.
Our camera zooms in on the sidelines between the second and third battle and we see Lord Brad of the Longest and Tallest House pacing back and forth. He makes his way over to the third battle and approaches Lord dh555.
Lord Brad: “Good luck, Lord Hand. It should be a great battle.”
Lord dh555: “Lord Brad, I am surprised you haven’t fallen asleep yet. Yes it should be a good fight if my guys can figure out how to win.”
Lord Brad blinks a few times then hustles over to the second battle and up next to Lord tarheel.
Lord tarheel: “Lord Brad, how are you still awake? Isn’t it past your bedtime?”
Lord Brad: “I’m going to try to stay awake for these battles. I fell asleep in the first round and woke up to learn that I had lost both fights. I think this battle is my best chance. My knights have really been fighting well.”
We follow his gaze to the battle and take in the scene. Sir Michael of Jordan and Sir Melo stand surrounded by the knights of the Longest and Tallest House. Sir Duncan is carrying a large shield made of glass. Sir DeAndre pulls out a large great sword and lumbers forward. Sir Horford flinches exaggeratedly as Sir Chauncey pulls a short dagger from its sheath.
Sir Chauncey: “It’s only a dagger, why are you flinching so much?”
Sir Horford: “I thought it would be funny.”
Sir Chauncey: “Maybe the first time. Now it’s just dumb.”
Next to them, Sir Yao, Sir Bledsoe, Sir Nelson, and Sir J.R. all brandish weapons. Sir Michael and Sir Melo are outnumbered badly and being backed towards the sidelines. Sir Melo wildly attempts a midrange strike, but Sir Duncan calmly uses the glass on his shield to parry. Sir Michael tries to attack Sir Duncan while his back is turned but Sir Melo steps in front of Sir Michael and tries another midrange strike. Sir Michael jumps high in the air, over Sir Melo’s head and attempts another strike, this time at Sir Horford, but Sir Melo gets in his way again.
Sir Michael: “You should have stayed on the bench for this fight Sir Melo. You’re taking all my attacks!”
Sir Melo turns to the sidelines and looks at Lord tarheel. He points over at Sir Michael. “Yo T, this guy wants me to come off the bench. Who does he think he is?”
Lord tarheel: “Maybe Lord Brad can mediate?” He turns to look at Lord Brad who is visibly nodding off. “Hey Brad, wake up!”
Lord Brad: “Huh? Oh, well maybe they can take turns attacking my knights?”
Sir Michael’s eyes narrow and his lips make a competitive snarl. He brings up his sword and drives it through Sir Melo’s armor. Sir Melo makes a quiet whimper as he falls to the ground.
Sir Michael is now alone, surrounded by enemy knights. He looks beaten. Sweat is pouring down his face. He looks over to Lord tarheel who throws him a blue bottle with a red cap. There is a yellow note attached to it and something is written in black child like handwriting. Sir Michael quickly takes a sip from the bottle and flips it back to Lord tarheel.
Instantly, we see a change come over Lord Michael. He is no longer sweating and even seems to glow faintly. He raises his sword and all of a sudden, his attacks are faster than humanly possible. He is parrying everything and lashing out left and right with his blade. He slashes through Sir Chauncey and Sir Bledsoe with ease, then cuts down the knees of Sir Yao. As Sir Yao falls down, Sir Michael thrusts his blade through his armor.
There are only three knights facing Sir Michael now. Sir Duncan, Sir DeAndre, and Sir Horford start to circle him. We cut to the sideline where Lord Brad is covering his eyes with his hands.
Lord tarheel: “Lord Brad, you can look, you are sure to win this battle now. Lord Brad?”
Lord tarheel moves towards Lord Brad and removes his hands from his face. Lord Brad has fallen asleep standing up.
We cut to the third battle scene where things have gotten out of hand. Sir Kobe has unleashed his pet Black Mamba on Lord Brad’s knights and it is chasing them around the arena. Behind it, the rest of Lord dh555’s army gives chase as well. Sir Duncan and Sir DeAndre are in the lead, rushing out of the arena doors. Sir Chauncey leaps from foot to foot trying to evade the large slithering snake. He finally jumps on Sir Horford’s back and the two of them leave through the arena doors. Sir Chauncey slams the door behind them and we hear a great thud. The rest of Lord Brad’s army falls behind and is slaughtered.
Sir Duncan, Sir DeAndre, and Sir Horford, with Sir Chauncey on his back, stumble onto the streets. They are panting heavily.
Sir Duncan: “Did we lose them?”
Sir Horford: “Horford.”
Just then, we hear a loud screech and we see from high above, the Three Eyed Bird of Bostonia dive bombing the army. A moment later the arena doors open with a bang and the Hand’s knights tumble out into streets in hot pursuit.
Lord Brad’s knights flee to a nearby crossing bridge over a small ford.
Sir Duncan: “If we can just make it past that ford we can get back to the arena and still win this thing.”
The knights hurry over to the ford, but the opposing army is catching up with them. Sir DeAndre falls behind.
Sir Duncan: “What are you doing?”
Sir DeAndre looks at the approaching army, then back at his fellow knights. “Go! If you can make it back across the ford and to the arena we may yet win!” He turns back to the approaching army and raises his blade.
We cut back to Sir Duncan, Sir Horford and Sir Chauncey, but hear the clash of steel and a shout as Sir Jordan falls. The trio has now made it to the bridge. Sir Duncan crosses first, followed by Sir Chauncey on Sir Horford’s back. Sir Horford stops suddenly. He reaches behind him and grabs Sir Chauncey by the shoulders, hoists him up, and throws him over to Sir Duncan, who catches him in mid-air. Sir Horford nods at Sir Duncan then turns around. Sir Duncan pauses for a second, then nods his own head. “Hold the ford.” He hoists Sir Chauncey on his back and turns towards the arena.
Sir Chauncey: “What are you doing? We can’t leave Sir Horford!”
Sir Duncan shouts over his head once more, “HOLD THE FORD!”
We zoom in on Sir Horford as the Hand’s army reaches the bridge. He raises his sword and lets out his battle cry. “HORFORD!”
As the knights reach him, he starts parrying their blows and delivering some of his own. Some of his opponents fall down and get swept up by the river, but there are too many of them. Up over his head we see the Three Eyed Bird diving steeply right towards him. We hear its deafening shriek and our screen goes black.
We cut to the arena and to the second battle. Sir Michael is holding his own against Sir Duncan, Sir DeAndre, and Sir Horford in this fight, but is clearly growing tired. Just then, there’s a loud commotion in the stands and the arena doors bust open. Sir Duncan from the third battle rushes in carrying a crying Sir Chauncey on his back. The duo stumbles forward and collapses onto their court. Everyone in the arena holds their breath and looks to the door, but no one follows.
We zoom in on the sidelines. Lord dh555 is shaking his head and trying to rouse Lord Brad from his standing slumber. “Lord Brad, Lord Brad, wake up. It looks like you won.”
Lord Brad shakes himself awake. “I won? Really?”
From somewhere outside of the arena, we hear the piercing cry of a large bird.
Sir Michael uses the disturbance to attack Sir Duncan and Sir DeAndre and quickly defeats the two knights. He turns toward Sir Horford, but stops. Something weird is happening.
Sir Horford is standing still and has dropped his blade to the ground. All of a sudden, his eyes roll back into his head and we can see the whites behind them. He crumbles to the ground and starts shaking uncontrollably. He starts to shout loudly, while still convulsing on the grass. “HOLD THE FORD! HOLD THE FORD! HOLD FORD! HOLD FORD! HORDFORD! HORDFORD! HORFORD! HORFORD! HORFORD!”
As this is happening the doors to the arena burst open once more. We see Sir Kobe, Sir Kidd, Sir Tracy, and Sir Buck emerge into the stadium, swords drawn. They advance towards Sir Duncan and Sir Billups who are on the ground panting, bruised, beaten.
Lord dh555: “Well, maybe not. Looks like I win after all. Sorry Brad. Brad? Brad?”
We pan over and see that Lord Brad of the Longest and Tallest House has fallen asleep once more.
We cut back over to the second battlefield. Sir Michael looms over the fallen body of Sir Horford who is still shaking uncontrollably.
“HORFORD! HORFORD!”
Sir Michael: “You only brought twelve knights to fight me?”
“HORFORD!”
Sir Michael thrusts his sword downward through Sir Horford’s armor. Sir Horford stops shaking and shouting all at once. We zoom in on Sir Michael.
“I take that personally.”
Sir Michael looks right at the camera and smirks as our screen goes black and white block letters take over the screen: GAME OF ZONES.