Hi.

Thanks for checking in. It occurred to me a few days ago, after Budweiser made a major beer announcement, that it might avail me to make a similar major beer announcement.

I DON'T DRINK BUD LIGHT!
That's about it.





OH WAIT!

Also...I never bought a case of it in my whole life and I also never even bought a six pack of it that I can remember clearly. I might have drank one that was offered to me in a circumstance where I felt I had to accept it just to be cordial. I NEVER ordered one at a bar eVar and if I did...I didn't like it. And if perhaps once or twice was seen sipping on one and gave the impression I was enjoying myself....it was because I was drunk. Plusewise I don't even drink beer anymore but when I did it was real beer. You can tell because real beer isn't yellow.

Thank You.

BEVERAGE PRETENDING TO BE BEER FEATURES MAN PRETENDING TO BE WOMAN

U.S. — In a match made in heaven, a beverage that tries to pass itself as beer has hired as its spokesperson a man trying to pass himself off as a woman.

"For decades, we've been putting carbonated backwash in a beer can and pretending it's beer," said Anheuser-Busch CEO Brendan Whitworth. "Who better to represent our brand than a guy throwing on a dress and pretending he's a woman?"

Long a staple drink of people who hate actual beer, Bud Light felt putting Dylan Mulvaney's face on a can would also attract people who hate actual women. "As a man acting out the most horrendously offensive stereotypes of women, Mulvaney taps into the soul of people who despise real women," said Mr. Whitworth. "As a company dedicated to serving those who detest real beer, the partnership made perfect sense. The new beer can just shouts, 'Come, enjoy this atrocious substitute for the real thing'."

While a few in the media questioned the move, so far Bud Light fans have welcomed drinking out of a can featuring the face of a guy with a little girl fetish. "It really completes the experience," said Bud Light fan Mason Olsen. "If that dude with his massive jaw can pretend to be a little girl - well, I can pretend this is real beer. It's pretty inspiring."

At publishing time, activists had resumed calling for America to stop keeping trans people invisible.

POEPLE WITH TASTE BUDS CONTINUE DECADES-LONG BOYCOTT OF BUD LIGHT
U.S.· Apr 8, 2023 · BabylonBee.com

U.S. — As conservatives across the nation vowed to no longer drink Budweiser products, people who possess functional taste buds, including former President Barak Obama, have promised to continue their decades-long boycott of Bud Light as well.

"No way I'm ever drinking Bud Light," said Obama. "Wait, there's a boycott?"

According to sources, no human with taste buds has finished an entire bottle of Bud Light since the brand's inception in 1982. "We still have a pretty big following of people who don't have tongues," said CEO Brendan Whitworth. "Oh, and also people who burned their taste buds off with a Hot Pocket. Huge Bud Light fans. The taste bud boycott has been a challenge, but we have persevered."

While Bud Light's partnering with Dylan Mulvaney has led to controversy, people with the ability to taste have no plans to change their beer choice. "I guess I would boycott Bud Light if I ever drank it, but that would require me to shave my taste buds off with a razor," said local man Ron McAllen. "And I don't really want to do that, it sounds super painful. So, I'll just stick with the New Belgium amber I'm sipping here."

At publishing time, people with taste buds promised to also continue their long-standing boycott of candy corn and marshmallow Peeps.

PARENTS JUST RELIEVED TEEN WHO CAME HOME DRUNK WASN'T DRINKING BUD LIGHT
FAMILY· Apr 14, 2023 · BabylonBee.com

NEW BRITAIN, PA — Local parents Tim and Julia Yoder were understandably upset when their 17-year-old daughter Carlie came home drunk last weekend. However, their anger quickly turned to relief upon learning that Carlie had not, in fact, been consuming Bud Light.

"I mean, we were certainly disappointed that she was drinking while underage," her father Tim noted. "But at the same time, we're glad that she was responsible enough to choose a less-woke brand of alcohol."

Carlie's mother Julia said they tried hard to raise their daughter right and instill her with strong values. "I'm not proud of this, but both Carlie's father and I experimented with Bud Light when we were younger," Julia said. "I'm very proud that we raised our daughter to make better life choices and avoid some of the mistakes we made in the past."

For her part, Carlie said the temptation to drink woke beer was definitely there. "Some of the kids had Bud Light at the party. Someone even brought some of those commemorative Dylan Mulvaney cans," she said. "But I knew deep down that was wrong, so I just pounded a 12-pack of Yuengling and called it a night."

At publishing time, the Yoders announced they would be surprising young Carlie with a new car as a gift for her responsible behavior. "We really couldn't be more proud of her," his mother said. "She's a really good kid."

Wall Covered With Bud Light Signs To Deter Migrants
U.S.· May 10, 2023 · BabylonBee.com

NOGALES, AZ — In a last-ditch effort to stem the tide of illegal migrants crossing the border, locals in Arizona and Texas have resorted to hanging Bud Light signs all over the wall in hopes of scaring away would-be crossers.

"Bud Light? ¡No bueno!" said one man from Ecuador upon seeing the signs. "I go home now."

Sources say tens of thousands have already turned away after seeing the ads for the beer brand, now known around the world to be the official drink of the gay community. "Most of these traditional Catholic individuals want to be nowhere near the infamous beverage that threatens to turn them and their children gay," said one official at the border. "I wish we had thought of this earlier!"

South of the Texas border, patrol units have also been handing out cases of Bud Light to bands of crossers, forcing them to flee in terror and take their chances out in the desert.

Officials are hoping for the crowds to be fully disbursed by the time Title 42 ends tomorrow.

Fwiw, I drank about a dozen pbrs and a few Narragansetts in between.....

Not sure where I'm going with that, just saying

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Man Caught Drinking Bud Light Insists He's Not Gay

Man caught drinking cool aid insists that he does not have aids.

Posted by Lennybruce26 on 6/28/2023 4:54:00 PM (view original):
Man caught drinking cool aid insists that he does not have aids.

Only about 1/3 of the consumers of News or people having peripheral knowledge are intelligent about politics and news.
That is my opinion.
It is definitely getting worse.
I never was pessimistic about this country before Trump and imo the stupid quotient keeps rising.


It will never get better until it can’t get any worse.

Posted by Lennybruce26 on 6/28/2023 5:04:00 PM (view original):
Only about 1/3 of the consumers of News or people having peripheral knowledge are intelligent about politics and news.
That is my opinion.
It is definitely getting worse.
I never was pessimistic about this country before Trump and imo the stupid quotient keeps rising.


It will never get better until it can’t get any worse.

Posted by DougOut on 6/28/2023 5:11:00 PM (view original):

Posted by Lennybruce26 on 6/28/2023 5:04:00 PM (view original):
Only about 1/3 of the consumers of News or people having peripheral knowledge are intelligent about politics and news.
That is my opinion.
It is definitely getting worse.
I never was pessimistic about this country before Trump and imo the stupid quotient keeps rising.


It will never get better until it can’t get any worse.

This time you are correct.

very few might care about lennybruce's opinion, but even less care aboutDoug's opinions.

Posted by bottomlee on 5/12/2023 10:57:00 PM (view original):
Fwiw, I drank about a dozen pbrs and a few Narragansetts in between.....

Not sure where I'm going with that, just saying

that's a good start

now the narragansetts i assume are like the ninkasis

your kid brings em in on Fazha Day and then days later you take em to the can machine and it's all like Get that crappy foreign aluminum outta my mouf



here's my advice

a scanty half shot of Old Crow every 3rd 4th pbr

what i call a swig



satisfaction

keep them boilers comin