I'm new so I'm sure there are much better, but this one made me laugh from my SF:

@ the bottom of the nba draft coverage email:

© CollegiateInsider.com. All Rights Reserved. Does anyone ever read this legal crap?


@ the bottom of the preseason all american email:

© CollegiateInsider.com. All Rights Reserved. Good luck trying to unsubscribe.


@ the bottom of the post season awards:

© CollegiateInsider.com. All Rights Reserved. We support SPAM.

That's funny I've never even noticed.  I'll be watching the fine print from here on.

Home visit message.

SHHH-BANG! That's what I'm talking about! I was so excited to see you at the house, my momma had to hose down the carpet three times. She said she hadn't seen anybody so excited since the day they delivered grandpappy's Russian mail-order bride. She didn't speak a lick of English, but grandpappy didn't seem to mind. I'm not sure what she saw in him, but she must've seen something 'cuz they would go at it like two gophers at a carrot. Grandpappy died of some heart mischief later and his bride got all his belongings and money to soothe her aching heart. She's living in Beverly Hills now. She seems to be doing fine, but she won't return our calls anymore. Speaking of calls...how come you haven't returned any of my calls. I tried to call every hour to check on my status. I even found your home number, but something must be wrong, because it says its disconnected now. If you're having trouble paying those folks at the phone company, never you mind.

Why, once for about three years we had no phones 'cuz daddy couldn't get off'n his lazy butt to go get a job. He even tried doing one of them Wal-mart jobs of saying 'Hey, welcome to Wal-mart', but he kept messing it up. Momma had enough of that. She went out and got herself a new daddy. I don't see him much, but I think he must work all day, since he only comes by at night to call on momma and they go at it like pappy use to with his Russian gal. Funny though, he always sounds different, but momma doesn't mind only seeing him for a few hours every night. One time someone asked her what she did for a living and she said she was in the oldest profession - so I think she's a secretary or something. Anyways, you stop back, okay? Momma would love to talk to you again. She kept ranting about your pretty eyes, but I told her she must be crazy. I'll talk to ya later - when you get your phone undisconnected - and I can't wait to play for you and W. Chester (PA).

Love ya, man!

Jerry Batts

is that for real!? 2 paragraphs!!? lol

Just got a e-mail from a transfer recruit claming he loved me and, this is a direct quote, "I GOT SKILLZ"

Posted by ivnabru on 3/23/2012 3:55:00 PM (view original):

I'm new so I'm sure there are much better, but this one made me laugh from my SF:

Coach, this may not mean a lot to you, but well, I'm pretty much a laughing stock around campus - I told everyone that they could put it the bank I'd see at least 20 minutes of action every game. You're making me look like a fool by only playing me 17 minutes per game. Why would you promise me that?

What funny emails have you guys seen in the game?

What's interesting to me about this one is that your player is complaining when you are fulfilling 85% of your promise.  Lots of coaches swear up and down that 80% is good enough to keep players from complaining, but that's obviously not true in this case.

I believe I've read that about promised starts rather than minutes.  No idea if it's true about starts, but that's my recollection.

Posted by dcy0827 on 3/23/2012 6:54:00 PM (view original):

Posted by ivnabru on 3/23/2012 3:55:00 PM (view original):

I'm new so I'm sure there are much better, but this one made me laugh from my SF:

Coach, this may not mean a lot to you, but well, I'm pretty much a laughing stock around campus - I told everyone that they could put it the bank I'd see at least 20 minutes of action every game. You're making me look like a fool by only playing me 17 minutes per game. Why would you promise me that?

What funny emails have you guys seen in the game?

What's interesting to me about this one is that your player is complaining when you are fulfilling 85% of your promise.  Lots of coaches swear up and down that 80% is good enough to keep players from complaining, but that's obviously not true in this case.

it seems that now some players are ok with 80%, others ok with 70% and some demand 90%...

The 80% thing is true about starts, and from what I have gathered, is not true for minutes. Minutes you can miss around 10%, and after that, expect complaints to come. 

Posted by meeper123 on 3/23/2012 5:07:00 PM (view original):
Home visit message.

SHHH-BANG! That's what I'm talking about! I was so excited to see you at the house, my momma had to hose down the carpet three times. She said she hadn't seen anybody so excited since the day they delivered grandpappy's Russian mail-order bride. She didn't speak a lick of English, but grandpappy didn't seem to mind. I'm not sure what she saw in him, but she must've seen something 'cuz they would go at it like two gophers at a carrot. Grandpappy died of some heart mischief later and his bride got all his belongings and money to soothe her aching heart. She's living in Beverly Hills now. She seems to be doing fine, but she won't return our calls anymore. Speaking of calls...how come you haven't returned any of my calls. I tried to call every hour to check on my status. I even found your home number, but something must be wrong, because it says its disconnected now. If you're having trouble paying those folks at the phone company, never you mind.

Why, once for about three years we had no phones 'cuz daddy couldn't get off'n his lazy butt to go get a job. He even tried doing one of them Wal-mart jobs of saying 'Hey, welcome to Wal-mart', but he kept messing it up. Momma had enough of that. She went out and got herself a new daddy. I don't see him much, but I think he must work all day, since he only comes by at night to call on momma and they go at it like pappy use to with his Russian gal. Funny though, he always sounds different, but momma doesn't mind only seeing him for a few hours every night. One time someone asked her what she did for a living and she said she was in the oldest profession - so I think she's a secretary or something. Anyways, you stop back, okay? Momma would love to talk to you again. She kept ranting about your pretty eyes, but I told her she must be crazy. I'll talk to ya later - when you get your phone undisconnected - and I can't wait to play for you and W. Chester (PA).

Love ya, man!

Jerry Batts

I've got that one before!! I was like wow when it popped up and I saw how long it was. It was also pretty funny!

thats too funny!   sign him up and get phone connected

Posted by dcy0827 on 3/23/2012 6:54:00 PM (view original):

Posted by ivnabru on 3/23/2012 3:55:00 PM (view original):

I'm new so I'm sure there are much better, but this one made me laugh from my SF:

Coach, this may not mean a lot to you, but well, I'm pretty much a laughing stock around campus - I told everyone that they could put it the bank I'd see at least 20 minutes of action every game. You're making me look like a fool by only playing me 17 minutes per game. Why would you promise me that?

What funny emails have you guys seen in the game?

What's interesting to me about this one is that your player is complaining when you are fulfilling 85% of your promise.  Lots of coaches swear up and down that 80% is good enough to keep players from complaining, but that's obviously not true in this case.

it used to be 80%... seble changed it

Posted by gillispie1 on 3/24/2012 2:09:00 PM (view original):

Posted by dcy0827 on 3/23/2012 6:54:00 PM (view original):

Posted by ivnabru on 3/23/2012 3:55:00 PM (view original):

I'm new so I'm sure there are much better, but this one made me laugh from my SF:

Coach, this may not mean a lot to you, but well, I'm pretty much a laughing stock around campus - I told everyone that they could put it the bank I'd see at least 20 minutes of action every game. You're making me look like a fool by only playing me 17 minutes per game. Why would you promise me that?

What funny emails have you guys seen in the game?

What's interesting to me about this one is that your player is complaining when you are fulfilling 85% of your promise.  Lots of coaches swear up and down that 80% is good enough to keep players from complaining, but that's obviously not true in this case.

it used to be 80%... seble changed it

As it should have been (Seble changing it, that is).  My personal opinion is, if a coach is willing to make a promise to a player, then he should be ready to uphold that promise 100% or risk the player transferring.  That could be/should be where a player's personality comes into play.  Some players might be willing to tolerate 90% of a promise without getting upset, but some should get upset the first time they miss a start.  On that note, however, I would probably make promises carry more weight during recruiting (i.e., make them a substantially more powerful recruiting tool).  Just my opinion (and probably not a very popular one, if I had to guess).  Back on topic now......

on the promises.. if you guarantee a freshman start can you have him start the game and only have him play 4 minutes? would he be ok with that?