6.  Muggsy blocks the shot!

5.  An outstanding defensive play from David Ortiz!
5a.  Jeter ranges far to his left and MAKES THE THROW.  Out at first!

Lol I like these haha

Posted by dahsdebater on 6/21/2012 11:29:00 PM (view original):
5.  An outstanding defensive play from David Ortiz!
5a.  Jeter ranges far to his left and MAKES THE THROW.  Out at first!

Jeter atually used to do that a lot! Just a couple of years after the Hartford / Tampa era I mentioned.

Posted by dahsdebater on 6/21/2012 11:27:00 PM (view original):
6.  Muggsy blocks the shot!

LOLOL, IDK if this is less likely than a Curry assist but I like it.  Also accessible for those of us old enough to have watched those Whalers in person.

Listening to the quality of sideline reporting by ESPN's personalities tonight, a new entry comes to mind:

4.  "Stuart Scott is in no way a massive butt kisser."

Posted by dahsdebater on 6/21/2012 11:26:00 PM (view original):
7.  And the assist goes to Eddy Curry.

rebound works just as well

"and Patrick Ewing backs up his guarantee"

4. The refs call a charge on the Heat!

Sorry, a little bitter.

3. That was an excellent draft pick for the Raiders

2) Calipari is one class act
2.5) UCLA is a model of how to run a basketball program

"Ryan Braun with a clean single."

"...and [Team X] will be playing Northwestern in the first round of the NCAA tournament."

(Another dated one, an actual thing I heard on a Celtics broadcast ca. '92)

"You just can't leave Joe Kleine alone!"

I got two: 1) that was a smart play by Javale McGee 2) Brian scalabrini scores the basket.... Not as funny tho as some of the others

From Disorder in the American Courts

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
______________________________ ______________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
______________________________ _____________
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
______________________________ ______________
ATTORNEY: "Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
______________________________ ______
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.
______________________________ _____________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
______________________________ ___________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
______________________________ ______________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney.
Can I get a new attorney?
______________________________ ______________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
______________________________ ______________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about 20, medium height, and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
______________________________ _______
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
______________________________ ___________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK?
What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
______________________________ ___________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And, Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
______________________________ ______________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________ ________
And the best for last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No .
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.