Coach, I'm sorry to be the one to break this to you, but our best efforts couldn't save McColl. He died last night. I've always wanted to say that! Seriously, it's mild ankle sprain. He's at about 100% right now.
That's hilarious. You know what I've always wanted to say? "You're fired!" But seriously, I apparently can't fire anybody on my staff. You will keep your job forever. The standup comedy circuit will not miss you.