HOW TO FIX AMERICA
1) Scrap every ******* bullshit loophole where millionaires don't pay ****. You get to pay 35%, not ******* 0% like the ******* NFL or Facebook or GE or whatever mother ******* are out are there. Only exceptions are you get $1500 rebate for every employee that got paid more than $30K for the year, but a limit of 100 employees total. Everyone can also get the mortgage interest claim thing, IF YOU LIVE IN THE HOME. **** your beach house. Everyone gets $1000 per kid on the Earned Income Credit, but a limit of 3. So you and your wife and kids can be the starters for the basketball team, but the 6th man isn't worth ****.
2) Unemployment. You get 3 months to figure out what the **** you're going to do after you got fired even though you thought you were the BESTEST employee ever. Go do whatever the you want, you might even want to you know, LOOK FOR A NEW JOB!!! Day #91, the GOV'MINT gets to find a job for you. They will find something at your skill level (CART PUSHER!) and get you interviews. You get offered a job, you have to take it, or the money is cut off. Shouldn't have wasted those 90 days, *******!
3) Drug policy! Stop locking up people for doing drugs. Guess what. REAGAN DRUG POLICY DIDN'T ******* WORK. We filled are prisons with small time drug losers. Money down the drain.
4) Government Spending. Oh great billions more for airplanes the military doesn't ******* want because the planes are being built in Representative Fucknuggets district. Oh look Louisiana/Florida/Mississippi got hit by hurricane. NO ONE COULD HAVE SEEN THAT COMING! As far as the military budget, just make like 100,000 more drones.
5) Medical Care. S-I-N-G-L-E P-A-Y-E-R I know it'll be the downfall of the ******* country. Those people in Canada and the UK only live until they're like 12, but sacrifices must be made. I don't have time for your dumbshit arguments about how bad it will be. Health care costs are crazy. Oh and stop being so ******* fat. If you are fat, get healthier, or swamphawk yourself.
6) Immigration. Make everyone that's here a citizen ASAP. Yes they broke the law, that sucks, but there's zero chance of shipping everyone out, just make it so no one else comes in. Laser fence? Drones that shoot mace into their eyes. I don't ******* care.
7) Gun control. You can't do anything. Sorry libs.
8) Energy Policy. Every politician says the want an "All of the above approach". How about nuclear power? It's cheap and long lasting, other countries use it to perfection, but in America it's treated like trying to power the country through dog fighting.
AMERICA IS SAVED!