Posted by robusk on 8/26/2020 4:06:00 PM (view original):
The plot thickens!

The bds plot line is mostly on hold until episode 12, but will be featured heavily in 12-14.

Next episode probably dropping tonight. Who will win the Battle of the Ringless Knights, Sir Charles or Sir Karl?

Season 2 - Episode 9: The Ringless Knights
Upon a dark background, white block letters say ‘PREVIOUSLY ON GAME OF ZONES’. The Os are filled in as though they are basketballs.

Scene opens to the practice courtyard where knights fighting for all the lords of the realm are getting ready for the tournament. The clang of swords upon shields rings through the courtyard as we take in the scene. On one end, Sir Karl the Sitemail Man is sparring with Sir Gary the Gloved Knight. Nearby, Sir Charles of the Round Mound is panting, hands on his knees, as Sir Steve runs around whacking him with his practice sword.

Cut to the ravenry where Sir Karl the Sitemail man can be seen untying a sitemail from a white raven.

“I have taken out the knees of two of my teammates, Sir Victor and Sir Michael the Red. I will now focus my efforts on compromising Sir Gary the Gloved Knight and Sir Karl the Sitemail Man.

• Sir Oakley”

Sir Karl looks up at Jerry the Raven in concern. “ I should have known he was traitorous. Always following Sir Michael around like a lost puppy. Better let Sir Gary know too. Maybe we will have to plan for an accident to befall him.”

Cut to Sir Karl untying another sitemail off of the leg of a different white raven and unraveling the message. “Ahh, another sitemail from Sir Charles of the Round Mound. Tell me Greg, does that knight ever shut up? Let’s see what he has to say this time shall we?”

Sir Karl reads the letter aloud to his raven friends.

“To Sir Carl, The Snailmail Man,

My fellow ringless warrior, I challenge you to duel for the right to be named the greatest nite to have never won a townament. I’m sure you are as tired of losing to nites like Sir Michael as I am. One of us needs victery. Of course, it will be me who is victeryous. Tonite at Midnite. The practice courtyard. See you there.

• Sir Charles”

Sir Karl looks over at Greg the Raven. “I guess I will have to get my armor ready and my sword sharpened. Sir Charles has more talent to be sure, but he’s lazy. My hard work should give me the easy victory.”

The screen darkens to black and we see a disclaimer in white letters appear: ALL CHARACTERS AND EVENTS IN THIS CARTOON, EVEN THOSE BASED ON REAL PEOPLE, ARE FICTIONAL AND ALL VOICES ARE OBVIOUSLY IMPERSONATED. The letters disappear and new letters take its place: GAME OF ZONES. The Os are basketballs. These letters too disappear and a cartoon knight is seen dribbling a basketball between his legs next to new letters: SEASON 2 - EPISODE 9: The Ringless Knights

Scene opens to a full moon upon a pitch black sky. We hear the murmur of voices below and the camera follows the light from the moon to the practice courtyard. Nearby a table is set up and knights are gathered round. At the head of the table we see Sir Michael of Jordan with a quill and parchment. Next to him are his remaining teammates, Sir T.J., Sir Kyle, Sir D’Angelo, Sir Gordon, and Sir Melo.

Sir Michael: “Alright, anyone want action on Sir Karl? I’m going to parlay Sir Charles winning the bout with Sir Karl getting the first strike. 1000 gold coins. Side bet 100 gold coins for each time Sir Charles takes a snack break. Let’s add-on an over/under 2.5 racial slurs from Sir Karl. I’m taking the over for 250 gold coins. Juice is 5 gold coins for all bets. Anyone want to throw bones before the fight starts?”

Near the gambling table, Sir Gary the Gloved Knight is helping Sir Karl the Sitemail man get ready for the fight. Their teammates are all in the stands behind them. Sir Victor and Sir Michael the Red are holding crutches and sitting next to Sir Kris who is wearing his best furs and looking bitter. The only one not in attendance is Sir Oakley, who is over by the gambling table and sitting next to Sir Michael. We hear Sir Gary tell Sir Karl, “Let him wear himself out. His weak *** won’t last five minutes.”

On the other side of the practice courtyard, Sir Charles is struggling to fit into his armor as Sir Steve attempts to shove his helm on his head. Behind them, their teammates have gathered. We overhear Sir Steve tell Sir Charles, “Get inside his defenses. You’re unstoppable there. Don’t settle for outside strikes.”

We hear the sound of a horn and Sir Gary and Sir Steve head out to mid-court where Sir Embiid is waiting. Sir Embiid puts the horn down and turns towards Sir Gary. “Alright knights, you know the rules. 3 points for a headshot, 2 points for a strike to the body. 1 point for a hit on a limb. First to 21, win by two.”

Sir Embiid does a 180 degree turn and faces Sir Steve. “As the seconds to Sir Karl and Sir Charles you will have to step in if either knight is injured to the point they cannot carry on before either knight reaches 21.”

Sir Gary scowls at Sir Steve. “You think you can land even a single hit on me you little smurf?”

Sir Steve flips his hair to the side. “I could get a three point head shot against you whenever I’d like.”

The two seconds return to their respective benches and Sir Karl and Sir Charles approach mid-court. Sir Karl arrives first with Sir Charles resting halfway to catch his breath. Sir Embiid does a 180 degree turn to face Sir Karl. “And he calls me lazy!”

When Sir Charles arrives at mid-court, the two knights gingerly touch the tips of their swords and the fight begins. Sir Charles bull rushes Sir Karl and gets a quick inside strike. Sir Embiid holds up two fingers. The next couple of strikes from each knight are parried, before Sir Charles strikes again with a body blow followed by a swipe to the arm of Sir Karl. Sir Charles backs off, tilts his head in the air and yells, “AND ONE!” Over by the scoreboard at the end of the courtyard, Sir Mookie puts a 5 on the board for Sir Charles.

Sir Karl advances on Sir Charles who is now panting and slightly hunched over. Sir Karl brings his sword down and Sir Charles raises his own to parry. At the last second, Sir Karl rolls his blade and it slips by to whack Sir Charles on the shoulder. Sir Shuttlesworth puts a 2 on the board for Sir Karl. Sir Charles tries a swipe at the head of Sir Karl, but the three point shot whiffs badly as Sir Karl ducks and rolls his blade again at the body of Sir Charles. The scoreboard reads 5-4, advantage to Sir Charles.

Over by the bench of Lord goetz, 93rd of his name, Sir Murphy yells out, “Stop trying three point shots Chuck! Leave those for me and Sir Steve!” Sir Charles looks over and nods his head. He manages to get inside Sir Karl’s defenses and lands his sword upon the chest of Sir Karl for two points. As he does this, Sir Karl rolls his sword around Sir Charles’s shield to land two points for himself. The scoreboard reads 7-6, advantage to Sir Charles.

Over by the bench of Sir mikee, 1st of his name, Sir Victor and Sir Michael the Red each raise a crutch in the air as Sir Enes yells out, “He can’t stop the roll Sir Karl!” He turns to Sir Victor and Sir Michael the Red. “Seriously. How are you supposed to stop a roll attack? Or any attack for that matter? Where’s Sir Gary? He always seems to know the correct defensive techniques.”

Sir Charles bull rushes Sir Karl once more, but Sir Karl parries, rolls his sword again and whacks Sir Charles across his back. Sir Charles roars in anguish and turns back to Sir Karl. “Is that… the only… attack… you have?” Sir Charles wildly swings his sword at Sir Karl’s head, but Sir Karl calmly ducks, rolls his sword, and connects with Sir Charles stomach. “Why do anything else, when you can’t stop my roll?” The scoreboard reads 10-7, advantage to Sir Karl.

Over by the gambling table, Sir Gary has joined the fray. Sir Michael of Jordan is scowling, having lost all his bets so far. He is now focusing on the dice being tossed by Sir T.J. who rolls a four and a three. Sir Michael bangs his fist on the table. Sir T.J. whimpers next to him. “Sorry your Airness, Sir.” Sir Michael stares daggers at Sir T.J. unblinking. “Throw ‘em again, you midget.” Sir T.J. throws the dice once more and this time they land on a five and a two. Sir Michael lets out a scream of anguish, flips the table, and punches Sir T.J. in the face, knocking him to the ground.

Sir Gary smiles briefly before turning to Sir Michael. “Hey, why don’t you pick on someone your own size.” Sir T.J. looks up from the ground at Sir Gary. “Thank you, Sir.” Sir Gary looks down distastefully. “You won’t even be in the league next season.”

Sir Michael tilts his head back and screams once more before taking out his dagger and stabbing Sir Oakley in the striking arm. As Sir Oakley crumbles to the ground, Sir Michael turns to Sir Gary. “He big enough for you?” Sir Gary smirks and walks back to his team’s bench as Sir Michael collects all the coins on the ground. He pauses to thrust his sword downward through Sir T.J. We hear him mutter as he bounds away, “This ought to cover at least a couple of those debts.”

Back in the center of the courtyard, Sir Karl rolls his sword around Sir Charles’s shield once more and lands a body blow. This time however, Sir Charles is able to trap Sir Karl’s sword against his body with the shield and deliver three quick strikes to the chest of Sir Karl. He then winds up and swings erratically at Sir Karl’s head. Sir Karl ducks and detangles his sword. We look up at the scoreboard. It reads 13-12, advantage Sir Charles.

Over on the sideline, Sir Steve is shaking his head. “Why does he keep going for that three point shot? He’s never going to hit it.” Sir Murphy responds, “He hasn’t missed a two point attack all game. If he just stopped trying threes he would win easily.”

We see the two swords meet and Sir Karl is able to roll his blade and strike Sir Charles once more. Sir Charles roars and charges, smashing Sir Malone with his shield and getting in a quick inside strike as Sir Karl stumbles to the ground. Sir Charles raises his sword and brings down a finishing blow, but Sir Karl rolls his body to the side and the strike hits the ground harmlessly. Sir Karl is able to roll his blade once more around the shield for mid-range two pointer. The scoreboard reads 16-15 Sir Karl.

Sir Gary has rejoined his squad over on the sideline. He leans over to Sir Kris and says, “Has Sir Karl destroyed that fat *** yet? And no, I’m not talking about your ex-wife.” Sir Kris scowls and turns to Sir Gary. “Sir Karl has taken the lead actually. I was a little worried after he fell down 5-0, but he is making a nice comeback.” Sir Gary smirks. “Everyone likes a good comeback story huh Kris?”

At midcourt, swords clash once again. Sir Charles lands a slash to the arm of Sir Karl. He then dodges a counterstrike and lands a blow on the other arm of Sir Karl. He takes a swipe at Sir Karl’s head, but misses the three point attempt badly. Sir Karl dodges easily, presses his own attack, rolls his sword around Sir Charles’s shield, and lands two points against the broad midsection of Sir Charles. The portly knight responds by slamming Sir Karl with his shield and then bringing his sword down upon the chest of the Sitemail Man. The camera cuts to the scoreboard where Sir Mookie is placing a 19 for Sir Charles to give him a one point lead.

Sir Steve shouts from the sideline, “Only two points away! Get inside and finish this!”

Sir Charles nods, and promptly launches an errant swipe at Sir Karl’s head. Sir Karl rolls his sword and connects once more with a body shot. Sir Charles bull rushes Sir Karl and their shields collide with a loud thud that knocks them both backwards a step, their shields flying out of their hands. Sir Charles slashes his sword and Sir Karl doesn’t bother to defend it as it connects with his body. Sir Karl slashes with his own sword and lands a body blow of his own. The two knights trade inside attacks back and forth, neither one bothering to defend the other. The camera widens to include the scoreboard. Sir Mookie and Sir Shuttlesworth are frantically trying to keep up with the action. Each knight goes up by one point, only for the other knight to take the lead a moment later. We zoom in on the scoreboard as the point tallies continue to go up by twos, neither knight gaining more than a one point advantage. Two pointer after two pointer is added to the board as our screen goes black and white block letters take over the screen: GAME OF ZONES

Poor Humphries.

The Kris Humphries stuff was some real good joke writing Ben.

Well written , with nuanced detail and humor throughout

Season 2 - Episode 10: The Perfect Knight
Upon a dark background, white block letters say ‘PREVIOUSLY ON GAME OF ZONES’. The Os are filled in as though they are basketballs.

Scene opens to Lord dh555 addressing a crowd of lords and knights.

Lord dh555: “Knights of the realm. Today begins the greatest tourney the SAVAGE LANDS have ever known. Honor and glory await you.”

Cut to Sir Clyde who is wearing an exotic fur pelt over his armor. His helm has a specially made wide brim on it, and his smile is stretching from ear to ear. He emphatically tells his teammates, “Today is tourney day!”

The screen darkens to black and we see a disclaimer in white letters appear: ALL CHARACTERS AND EVENTS IN THIS CARTOON, EVEN THOSE BASED ON REAL PEOPLE, ARE FICTIONAL AND ALL VOICES ARE OBVIOUSLY IMPERSONATED. The letters disappear and new letters take its place: GAME OF ZONES. The Os are basketballs. These letters too disappear and a cartoon knight is seen dribbling a basketball between his legs next to new letters: SEASON 2 - EPISODE 10: The Perfect Knight

Scene opens to a large red and white tent with a massive red maple leaf adorning the side. We hear the murmur of voices coming from inside the tent and our camera zooms in on the tent flap before entering. Inside, Sir Chris Paul, third of his name, is standing fully armored aside from his helm. Next to him is Lord mptrey who is as angry as he has ever been and is berating Sir Chris Paul.

“Excuse me, Sir Chris Paul, Sir. You were supposed to help me win the kerfuffles and to improve on my 6th place finish in the SAVAGE War. We are still in 6th place. If you don’t mind me asking, Sir Chris Paul, what’s that aboot, eh?”

Sir Chris Paul opens the tent flap and sticks his head outside quickly, checking to make sure he’s not overheard. He ducks his head back in and approaches Lord mptrey.

Sir Chris Paul: “My Lord, the secret weapon is almost ready.”

Lord mptrey: “Is this the weapon that is suppoosed to help us win all the kerfuffles, eh?”

Sir Chris Paul: “Yes, my Lord. I am told that this weapon is being designed specifically to complement my fighting style in every way possible. We will be unstoppable in the courtyard once we can start it up.”

Lord mptrey: “And when will that be, eh? We cannot keep dwindling in mediocrity. Lord ashamael, author of the usage scrolls, predicted us as his dark horse to win the whole toornament after all.”

Sir Chris Paul: “Soon, My Lord. Maester Hoiberg has promised the weapon will be ready on the morrow.”

Cut to a dark spiral staircase winding down into a narrow hallway. Sir Chris Paul is walking slowly and holding out a lantern in front of him. From the light off the lantern we see we are in the Black Cells of the Red Keep. As he walks down the hall, we see that most of the cells are empty, however one near the middle is occupied by a short unkempt man who seems to be talking to himself. Sir Chris Paul passes with only a quick glance and makes his way to the very last cell. This one is not locked like the others and Sir Chris Paul gently pushes open the gate to enter a tiny room with a lone table in the middle. On top of the table is a humanoid figure covered with a white sheet. Next to the table is a slightly stooped man in tattered robes.

Sir Chris Paul approaches the table and lowers the lantern slightly. “Maester Hoiberg, our Lord grows impatient. When will the weapon be ready?” The figure takes off his hood to reveal a baby faced man with straw hair. “It’s Mayor Hoiberg actually.” Sir Chris Paul frowns. “You’re not a maester? But you wear their robes?” Mayor Hoiberg points to his chest. “No maester chain. I was stripped of it and my title by Archmaesters Gar and Pax.”

Mayor Hoiberg lifts the front of the sheet up and Sir Chris Paul leans over to see what lies underneath. Whatever is on the table is hidden from the camera. “I think it is ready Sir Chris Paul. The perfect weapon to compliment you on the battlefield. None shall stand a chance against Lord mptrey now.”

Our screen goes black for a few seconds. We hear a monotonous voice say, “Who am I?”

A sequence of green 1s and 0s flood our screen in a grid formation. In the middle of the grid, some of the numbers become letters spelling out, SIR KAWHI. The same monotonous voice says, “Where am I?”

A second later light fills our screen and we see the main courtyard of the Red Keep. It is early morning and knights from all over the realm are gathering to begin their first of two daily bouts. Over on one of the practice courtyards next to the main tourney courtyard, Sir Karl the Sitemail Man and Sir Charles of the Round Mound are locked in their endless duel for the right to be named the best knight with no rings. Nearby their teammates have fallen asleep on their benches. They have been joined by Lord Brad of the Longest and Tallest House. Green letters show up on our screen once more. Battle Courtyard. 9/1 AM. Sir Kawhi looks down and we see two long arms covered in chainmail and armor extending outward and ending in clawed metal hands. We hear his monotonous thoughts once more. “Why am I here?”

He looks to the right and we see Sir Chris Paul, Mayor Hoiberg, and Lord mptrey. Sir Chris Paul and Mayor Hoiberg are looking at him with delight, but Lord mptrey looks concerned.

Lord mptrey: “Mayor Hoiberg, I don’t know how I feel about having a robot fight for me, eh?”

Mayor Hoiberg: “My Lord. Sir Kawhi here is the perfect complement to Sir Chris Paul’s fighting style. Defense? Check. efg%? Check? Low turnovers and fouls? Check. Rebounding? Check. Assists? Well Sir Chris Paul already has that covered; no need for more of those. Sir Kawhi, what is your mission?”

Green letters fill our screen. SEARCH: PRIMARY PROGRAMMING OBJECTIVE

We hear Sir Kawhi say, “Get boards, get paid.”

Sir Chris Paul: “I can get behind that.” He holds out his fist. Sir Kawhi turns his head to look at the extended fist.

Green letters fill our screen. SEARCH: APPROPRIATE REACTION TO CLOSED FIST

Sir Kawhi turns away from Sir Chris Paul.

Mayor Hoiberg: “Sir Kawhi has the most efficient sensory system, an advanced targeting computer, and top of the line security measures to lock-down any opponent.”

Green letters fill our screen. SEARCH: HUMAN EXPRESSIONS

Sir Kawhi: “What it do baby?”

Lord mptrey: “Alright, well what do you say Sir Kawhi? Why should I trust you in battle? Are you ready to fight for me, eh?”

Green letters fill our screen. SEARCH: AFFIRMATIVE RESPONSES

We hear Sir Kawhi’s monotonous voice say, “I’m a fun guy.” Something that someone somewhere may interpret as a laugh is emitted as well.

Sir Chris Paul punches the air and gives a “Whoooop!” He turns towards Sir Kawhi. “Well, Sir Kawhi, finally I have the perfect teammate to win this tournament with. Let’s go win this thing."

Sir Chris Paul starts for the center of the courtyard and Sir Kawhi mechanically follows. After taking three steps our image fades to black and we hear the sound of an engine powering down. We hear Mayor Hoiberg cry out, “Oh no, I forgot to give him enough minutes!” White block letters take over the screen: GAME OF ZONES.

Please add a disclaimer if future episodes mention Archmaesters Gar and Pax. TV:MA

oh Jesus, the Kawhi stuff is PHENOMENAL!!!

Posted by ashamael on 8/31/2020 11:19:00 PM (view original):
oh Jesus, the Kawhi stuff is PHENOMENAL!!!

That was phenomenal, but the Canadian stuff slayed me.

10 episodes down, 15 (plus an epilogue) to go!

I think my favorites so far are:

1. Tourney Day (Episode 7)
2. The Perfect Knight (Episode 10)
3. The Sky Hook (Episode 4)

Season 2 - Episode 11: “SPAGHETTIIIII!!!!!”
Upon a dark background, white block letters say ‘PREVIOUSLY ON GAME OF ZONES’. The Os are filled in as though they are basketballs.

Scene opens to Sir Steph Curry standing on the practice courtyard holding two swords and looking stern as Sir Kemp approaches. “You are late.” He tosses one of the wooden blades to Sir Shawn, who drops it. “Tomorrow, you will catch it.”

Sir Kemp: “I got delayed by the Spaghetti Lord.”

Cut to a great feast. All the lords of the realm are there. At each table, enormous pies are set out for the lords to eat. At one of the tables, Lord robusk and Lord ashamael are having a heated argument with Lord amerk1180 over a plate of spaghetti. Next to them, Lord Brad of the Longest and Tallest House is sleeping right through the disagreement.

Cut to Sir Karl the Sitemail man up in the ravenry. He has untied a sitemail from the leg of a raven and is reading it aloud. “Let’s see. Looks like more people upset at the Spaghetti Lord. I know his ravens always arrive late, but shouldn’t we cut him some slack? He’s sending them all the way from Essos after all. This Lord Amerk seems particularly unhinged about it.”

The screen darkens to black and we see a disclaimer in white letters appear: ALL CHARACTERS AND EVENTS IN THIS CARTOON, EVEN THOSE BASED ON REAL PEOPLE, ARE FICTIONAL AND ALL VOICES ARE OBVIOUSLY IMPERSONATED. The letters disappear and new letters take its place: GAME OF ZONES. The Os are basketballs. These letters too disappear and a cartoon knight is seen dribbling a basketball between his legs next to new letters: SEASON 2 - EPISODE 11: “SPAGHETTIIIII!!!!!”

Scene opens to the main courtyard where a group of knights are jumping up and down in celebration. We zoom in on Sir David the Tall, Sir Drummond the Wide, Sir Penny the Frail, Sir Paul the Truthfulness, and Sir Andrei: Wielder of the Mythical Hall Pass.

Sir David the Tall sheaths his sword. “We have beaten the great Lord ashamael again. Lord amerk will be proud. He is now above his rival in the standings.”

Sir Drummond the Wide: “I thought bds declared Lord ashamael as his rival?”

Sir Penny the Frail: “I think Lord ashamael has made a few rivals in this draft.” He pulls out a puppet that has his own likeness. The corners of his lips move as he says, “That’s because he’s an arrogant *******!” Sir Penny covers the doll’s mouth. “Shh, Lil’ Penny, you can’t say things like that.”

Sir Paul the Truthfulness is sitting in a wheelchair with an adapted holster for his sword. He wheels over to the rest of the group. “Ale is on me tonight boys, let’s go celebrate at the tavern!”

Sir David the Tall: “You guys should really stop drinking after every battle. Who wants to come to the sept to pray with me instead?”

His teammates all look at him with blank expressions.

Sir Andrei: “You guys have fun, I’m going to a brothel.”

We cut to the tavern where Sir Drummond, Sir Penny, and Sir Paul are all drinking. Sir Clyde and Sir Kyrie from House ashamael approach them.

Sir Clyde: “Greetings fellow knights of the realm! Well fought this evening!”

Sir Kyrie: “I couldn’t help but notice, you didn’t have your lord on the sidelines during the match. Where is Lord amerk?”

The trio glance at each other, before looking back at Sir Clyde and Sir Kyrie.

Sir Drummond: “Lord amerk hasn’t left the practice courtyard since challenging the Spaghetti Lord. He hasn’t been at a single one of our fights.”

From under the table Lil’ Penny emerges on one of Sir Penny’s hands. “That’s why we have some wins.”

Sir Penny the Frail: “Hush Lil’ Penny.”

Lil’ Penny: “What? He took last in the SAVAGE War. We’re lucky he hasn’t been around.”

Sir Penny shoves Lil’ Penny under the table. “Sorry about that. We’re working on his filter.”

Sir Kyrie: “What do you mean challenging the Spaghetti Lord. What’s that about?”

Sir Paul: “It all started during the knight selection process. There were some delays since Lord albiband, the Spaghetti Knight, had to send his selections via carrier pigeon from Essos.”

Sir Clyde: “Carrier pigeon? Don’t they use ravens over there?”

Sir Paul: “The lords of the realm all had to wait. Hours they waited, sometimes days. Finally the pigeons would arrive, **** on all the buildings, and deliver their picks to the Lord Hand. A couple lords got frustrated by this, but none more so than Lord amerk. He went on a tirade, suggesting kicking the Spaghetti Lord out of the tournament, and when others disagreed, he got particularly nasty. I believe he called your Lord ashamael by the name, assamael.”

Sir Clyde looks shocked: “He did not!”

Sir Kyrie: “I thought you were no longer a fan of our Lord after he traded the Lord Commander for Sir Dwight?”

Sir Clyde: “Well, I certainly didn’t understand that move, but Lord ashamael is a genius. He wrote the usage scrolls after all!”

Sir Kyrie: “Are we sure usage actually matters in these fights? Shouldn’t we try to think for ourselves rather than read some old scrolls? We don’t need Lord ashamael. I could lead this team better. I’m a generational leader after all.”

Sir Paul: “Lord amerk went on this long rant about how the Spaghetti Lord was wasting his time, how he had better things to do such as watch the maidens play golf.”

Sir Kyrie: “What’s golf?”

Sir Paul: “I don’t know, but Lord amerk spends a lot of time watching. Unless the foreign maidens are playing. A few lords took exception to Lord amerk, your Lord ashamael first among them. Lord cmcafeeky even called Lord amerk a jerky McJerk face.”

Sir Clyde: “But Lord cmcafeeky is one of Lord amerk’s greatest friends! He wouldn’t do that!”

Sir Paul: “It was quite the spectacle. Lords at each other's throats. But then, it happened.”

Sir Clyde: “What happened?!”

Sir Paul: “It was the Spaghetti Lord’s turn and after waiting all night, a carrier pigeon flew into the Red Keep. It flew straight for the Lord Hand, Lord dh555, but on it’s way there it took a **** right on Lord amerk’s head.”

Sir Clyde: “OH NO!”

Sir Paul: “Lord amerk drew an arrow and shot at the bird, but it missed badly. Lord dh555 read the name Sir Dana Barros aloud and the lords looked quizzically at each other. Only bds9992 thought it was a good pick. Lord amerk cried out for vengeance. He sent a raven that night to Essos, challenging the Spaghetti Lord to a duel.”

Sir Clyde: “And? Who won the duel?”

Sir Paul: “Lord amerk is still waiting in the practice courtyard. He has said he will not leave until he has been avenged. There has been no response from Essos as of yet.”

Sir Kyrie: “How do you know all this? Knights were not permitted to attend the selection process?”

Sir Paul: “Well, they don’t call me the Truth for nothing.”

Sir Kyrie: “But what is the truth? How do we know the truth isn’t a lie and the lie isn’t the truth?”

Sir Paul stands out of his wheelchair revealing he has been faking his disability the whole time. “How indeed?”

Cut to the practice courtyard. It is night time, but we can see what is happening from the light off the moon. At mid-court Sir Charles and Sir Karl are still fighting, trading two point blows back and forth. On the sidelines, their teammates are sleeping. Sir Brad of the Longest and Tallest House has joined them and has brought his own bed. Next to them we see Sir Kawhi who is powered down with a cord attached to him. Over on the other side of the courtyard, we see Lord amerk who has not calmed down since the draft and is still steaming. A carrier pigeon flies by and drops a letter down at the feet of Lord amerk. He bends down to pick it up, opens it, and reads it out loud.

“My fellow lords,
I apologize if I have slowed down the selection process. I have been stuck in my palace in Essos and have had to send my selections via pigeon. I hope this did not create any major inconvenience! I will be arriving in Westeros soon and look forward to competing against you all. Good luck to everyone! Except Lord amerk. Lord amerk… prepare to be destroyed.

• The Spaghetti Lord, Lord albiband”

Lord amerk looks up from the letter with a grimace. We hear a ‘Splat!’ as our screen goes white. The next thing we see is Lord amerk covered in pigeon ****. He lets loose a guttural scream into the sky as our screen goes black and white block letters take over the screen: GAME OF ZONES. The last thing we hear is Lord amerk's cry, “SPAGHETTIIIII!!!!!”

watch the maidens play golf... LOL

*slow, drawn-out whistle*

LOL that was amazing. The foreign maidens playing golf...you really went there, lol