Hey, back off Gary Nolan, he's my #3 starter (ouch!). And for those who didn't know about The Only Nolan, here's some reading of interest:
Best Baseball Player Names Hall Of Fame
It's not the most complete list I've seen posted on the web, but the author's comments are hilarious:
Mysterious Walker
BATTER looks at a 2-0 pitch.
UMPIRE. Ball three!
MYSTERIOUS WALKER. What do you think the next pitch is going to be?
BATTER. A ball.
MYSTERIOUS WALKER. SHUT UP, IT'S A MYSTERY
BATTER. You are going to grant me a base on balls.
MYSTERIOUS WALKER. Am I, or am I not? NOBODY KNOOOOOWWWS
UMPIRE. Are you going to throw, or what?
MYSTERIOUS WALKER. (gazes wistfully into horizon)
UMPIRE. We get it. Just throw ball four, like you always do.
BATTER looks at a 3-0 pitch.
UMPIRE. Ball four!
MYSTERIOUS WALKER. (widens eyes, makes jazz hands at half-speed, peers around slowly at nothing in particular)
BATTER. He's been playing for years and he's walked everyone he's faced. How is he still in the league?
UMPIRE. Who knows? It's a mystery.
MYSTERIOUS WALKER. (points excitedly) HA!
UMPIRE. Son of a--
MYSTERIOUS WALKER. (slowly pulls cloak over head, dances the Charleston)