Posted by zorzii on 12/14/2019 11:37:00 PM (view original):
Posted by gillispie1 on 12/14/2019 9:41:00 PM (view original):
Posted by shoe3 on 12/11/2019 7:06:00 PM (view original):
We received a neuro-psych diagnosis for our 8yo today, which we’ve suspected for a while: ADHD and high functioning ASD. (They don’t use the term “Aspergers” as of the DSM-5 update, but that would have been his diagnosis). I thought it was fitting on the day Greta Thunberg (who identifies herself on the spectrum) was named Time’s Person of the Year.
We’ve suspected for over a year. I have been looking into it for a while, and recognized a lot of those symptoms in myself over the years. When the doctor was noting all the boxes our son checked, they all apply to me. Hyper focus on one or two interests; trouble picking up or interpreting social cues; rigidity in thinking, especially as regards rules, principles, fairness, etc.; lack of interest in making friends and social connections; repetitive use of phrases, ideas, concepts; can appear aloof or unconcerned. (And for gil, no, being amazing at math is not an indicator. My math is fine, but it’s not uncommon for folks on the spectrum to really struggle with it, if it is not related to their area of hyper focused interest).
There isnt much utility in getting a diagnoses for myself now in my 40s. But these past few months in this process, I felt like Ray Romano’s character in Parenthood, when he starts seeing himself and his own tendencies and histories in a young person with ASD.
Any folks on the spectrum here willing to talk about it? I’m curious about how folks have dealt with it.
i'm sorry to hear about your son, and i'd like to apologize for my prior insensitivity which you referenced in that thread. i was going to reply here, but it got too personal. i'll shoot you a sitemail.
Yeah Shoe. Amazing story. Scary for a parent. But things settle down. I can tell you this since I have been through it with my son, who has a different diagnosis. As parents you do your best and just hope happiness is there. You also understand happiness is something that will be interpreted differently by your son. And you give him your heart so he can evolve and find his place. I would not say it is bad news. I would say life is strange and becomes what you make it to be. First thing : be positive. Second : be proactive.
It’s scarier for my wife. For me, it’s more a recognition of the places where we relate to each other, and how we’re connected. Especially the sensory sensitivity, and social interaction stuff. We’re very different in some ways too, I have always been very reserved in real life, borderline selective mutism especially when I was younger, before I had jobs where I had to speak and interact with people. He will talk nonstop -literally - about the subjects he’s interested in, if he’s comfrotable with the person he’s around. Part of that is age, I was in 5th grade when I was self aware enough to notice that classmates were annoyed with me in school for always raising my hand with answers; he’s a couple years away from that. If there’s anything scary, it’s that point, because that’s where a lot of the big problems start manifesting.
A few folks have reached out to me privately to talk about various management methods they developed. Everything from therapy to diet to psychedelics, and some stuff in between lol. Neuro atypicality is really more of a difference than a disability for many of us on the high functioning end of the spectrum. It’s been great to hear people’s stories.