My wife called me at work this afternoon to tell me that as she was backing the SUV out of the garage to run an errand, the back window of the vehicle spontaneously and inexplicably shattered into millions of pieces. She had absolutely no idea how it happened.
When I got home later this afternoon, the first thing I saw was all the glass in, on and around the vehicle. The second thing I saw was that the door frame on the left side of the garage door had been pushed out around four inches. Almost as if it had been hit by a woman backing an SUV out of the garage to run an errand. When I pointed this out to my wife, with the assurance that I was pretty sure that the door frame was in good shape the last time I looked, she said that (a) it wasn't her, and (b) she had no idea how that could have happened.
Seeing that my wife is an honest woman who would never miselad me (or anybody) about any accidental transgressions on her part, is it safe for me to assume that this was part of an al Qaeda retaliatory attack on the USA?
Should I contact the Department of Homeland Security?