2nd Round
A phone buzzes on an otherwise empty desk. There is a short pause, before it buzzes a second time. A hand stretches out and picks up the phone. The phone is slowly brought towards our screen until the home screen of the phone is all we see. The twitter app is opened and various tweets scroll by:
@wojespn: With the 25th pick, ysw will select Scottie Pippen
@RealSkipBayless: No MJ to bail out Scottie in this league. OVERRATED!
@Rachel__Nichols: Kawhi and Scottie hounding opposing guards! How is anyone supposed to score?
@LarsaPippen: Boardman gets paid? Let me know if you need your load managed Kawhi
@wojespn: With the 26th pick, copernicus will choose Hassan Whiteside
@JoelEmbiid: That guy??? Over me??? They would have to take his *** out in 5 minutes if he played me
@RoundMound: Hassan’s best strength is going to a bank twice a month stealing money
@SHAQ: SOFT!
@TheKillers: Open up my eager eyes! The Worm and Whiteside!
@wojespn: With the 27th pick, jcred5 prefers Clint Capela
@ZachLowe_NBA: That new Capela season is truly wonderful
@robusk: Thank goodness ben can’t pair Howard and Capela
@SHAQ: SOFT!
@sim_devil: NOOOOO!
@NateDuncanNBA: Very excited to see how Capela is able to finish lobs from John Stockton.
@wojespn: With the 28th pick, jkaye24 is zeroing in on Karl-Anthony Towns
@stephenasmith: I CAN’T BELIEVE KARL-ANTHONY TOWNS WENT THIS EARLY! THIS IS PRE-POSTEROUS!
@SHAQ: SOFT!
@TalkHoops: I am going to throw out this hot take: you shouldn’t select players who don’t win basketball games.
@wojespn: With the 29th pick, 6theluckyone is focused on selecting Draymond Green
@Round_Mound: No Steph Curry to bail out Draybum Green now
@DannyLeroux: 6theluckyone clearly focused on frontcourt defense but curiously has dedicated no resources to the backcourt.
@wojespn: With the 30th pick, albiband0 is fixated on Jason Kidd
@stephenasmith: JKIDD BEFORE ALLEN IVERSON??? AI WILL CARRY YOU TO THE FINALS BY HIS D*MN SELF!
@KevinOConnorNBA: This team is building like it is still 2005. Blow it up!
@wojespn: With the 31st pick, cjok1051 is determined to select Kevin McHale
@BillSimmons: Bird and McHale??? Just give cj the title!
@ShamsCharania: Sources: cjok1051 is not totally committed to the idea of selecting only white forwards.
@wojespn: With the 32nd pick, thomcat might take Ben Wallace
@SHAQ: SOFT!
@TalkHoops: The only player alive you can pair with James Harden is someone who a) doesn’t want to shoot and b) has complementary hair.
@wojespn: With the 33rd pick, benhoidal is singling out Damian Lillard
@DwightHoward: Dame Time! Let’s Go!
@BillSimmons: Finally someone to bail out Dwight!
@IanKarmel: My god, Dame. benhoidal in 6.
@wojespn: With the 34th pick, jackedjamie is electing to take Bill Walton
@SHAQ: SOFT!
@clubtrillion: Bill Walton also said this was the greatest team in PAC-12 history.
@wojespn: With the 35th pick, pharrop is opting for Bam Adebayo
@Round_Mound: Perfect sidekick
@NateDuncanNBA: It is 2021 but sure, build your team around two big men.
@wojespn: With the 36th pick, ashamael is deciding on Kyrie Irving
@Round_Mound: Still mad at ashy male for passing on me
@stephenasmith: KYRIE OVER AI?????
@wojespn: With the 37th pick, tarheel1991 is locked in on Shawn Kemp
@netw3rk: fathered 2 children between the 1st round and 2nd round
@RobPerez: feels like yesterday i watched Shawn Kemp do the macarena on top of Alton Lister's body and all the refs did was say get up.
@wojespn: With the 38th pick, gerryred has grown comfortable with the prospect of selecting Magic Johnson
@SHAQ: robusk needs to take Penny next!
@MagicJohnson: gerryred has drafted a point guard to pair with a power forward. Cookie and I sending in our RSVP to what I am assuming is Karl Malone’s daughter’s Quinceañera.
@wojespn: robusk is trading the 39th pick to tarheel1991 who is lasered in on Ben Simmons
@ZachLowe_NBA: tarheel drafting all the turnovers
@SHAQ: MMBLVRBL
@KevinOConnerNBA: One of the most elite, fake left handed players of all-time.
@wojespn: With the 40th pick, Midge has cleared the way to choose Kevin Garnett
@Midge: ANYTHING IS POSSIBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE!!!!!
@NBA_Stanchion: Please Sir, I have a family.
@555’ers: How is my guy still undrafted?
@wojespn: With the 41st pick, rjk2781 is seriously considering Dwyane Wade
@jeskeets: This team is going to be excruciating to watch.
@555’ers: Seriously. I almost picked him 1st overall.
@wojespn: jhsukow is trading the 42nd pick to jkaye24 who has no plans to pass on Julius Erving
@netw3rk: Woj crush my larynx w your heel
@robusk: jkaye making it rain!
@tarheel: But what about budget?
@robusk: ...
@555’ers: How is he still available?!
@wojespn: With the 43rd pick, NotoriousJ is unlikely to resist Andre Drummond
@SHAQ: SOFT
@NickWright: Someone has to clean up all of Jordan’s misses. LeBron is the GOAT!
@555’ers: I can almost taste it!
@wojespn: With the 44th pick, redbooda is enamored with Luka Doncic
@KDTrey5: Welcome to the club, Luka Magic!
@TheFakeVlade: That’s a nah for me.
@555’ers: Soooooo close!
@wojespn: With the 45th pick, tau1624 can’t stop himself from selecting Domantas Sabonis
@SHAQ: SOFT!
@555’ers: Just a few more!
@netw3rk: Sabonis looks like Hans Gruber was on an episode of The Simpsons
@TalkHoops: tau1624 is about to become the target of multiple bullying campaigns
@wojespn: With the 46th pick, sappy is tantalized by Deron Williams
@555’ers: IT’S HAPPENING!!!!!
@BillSimmons: Kareem and Deron Williams: Wow, two players I never want to watch play a second of basketball.
@jsloan_ghost: Good luck with that.
@wojespn: With the 47th pick, 24pkyrite wants Tyson Chandler
@555’ers: EMBIIIIIIIIIIIIID!
@SHAQ: SOFT!
@mcuban: 24kpyrite knows that this league has a salary cap, right?
@wojespn: With the 48th pick, dh555 refuses to pass on Joel Embiid.
@SHAQ: SOFT!
@BillSimmons: No Bill Russell in the first two rounds??? Being a GM is so simple, like just draft the best player
@555’ers: Everything is right in the world!
@TalkHoops: Apparently Andrew Toney was not available.
The twitter app closes, we hear a click, and the phone screen turns black.