Dear Mike,

I have a problem. I was driving my daughter in our Toyota Prius to a Save the Trees rally in Manhattan when she noticed that a man, dressed as Winnie the Pooh, was laying on a park bench guzzling Grey Goose vodka. She immediately began imitating the action. Disgusted, I pulled over to give Pooh a piece of my mind. I fastened by bandana around my head, pushed up my John Lennon glasses, and marched over to him, demanding to know what kind of image he wanted to portray. He began dry heaving on my tie die tank top and passed out. Even more disgusted, I proceeded to kick him in the chest repeatedly. He suffered irreparable injuries and is now suing me for the medical costs. Am I in the wrong?

Sincerely,
Weedy Hemp

Would playing a player out of their primary position ( Say playing a SS at 3B or RF ) affect them in the field or at the plate? 

Well, since you had an open bottle of Grey Goose in your vehicle, yeah, you were probably in the wrong.   But kicking a bum in the chest seems OK to me.

No, they'll play to their ratings.

Have you been watching Amazing Race? Who do you think will win? Which team do you despise most?

I've missed a few episodes but there are so many to dislike.   As best I can tell, the cops are ********, the BB team(Rachel in particular) are annoying, the team that hates the BB team are just unnecessarily rude(the chick mostly).   The man/woman team that the cops are ****** at seem nice enough and the country boys seem like good people.   I'd like the hicks to win but I don't think they're smart enough.   If I had to pick one, I'd go with the cops or the team that the cops are ****** at now.

Do you know that the team the cops are upset with is from Wisconsin?

I did not.  They don't appear to be fat enough to be from Wisconsin.   Or dumb enough for that matter.

Fattest state in the Union?

MISSISSIPPI?

The entire midwest is fat.   It's their specialty.   No beaches, cold weather.

NO, POCAHONTAS!!!!

Heading out to the golf course after work today for the first time this year.  Should I have polished my balls before leaving the house?

DOUCHED?

What you do behind closed doors is your business. 

NO, SQUANTO!!!

Is this team's hitting still lousy?  I know I need to work on power, but you know me... always expecting more than I should out of my hitters

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