bizarre sendup of Body turning into a Lake

http://bodyodd.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2010/08/03/4807400-dog-chews-off-owners-toe-and-may-have-saved-his-life?gt1=43001

thoughts on these three Shortstops, who would you want playing for you this season:

Player 1: 5 Pro years, 1 year ML service

Event	Season	Height	Weight	OV	RA	GL	AS	AA	PC	DU	HE	SP	PA	TP	MK
Current	-	5-10	173	69	88	84	93	91	0	88	72	79	78	24	41
Projected	-	5-10	178	74	89	89	93	95	0	94	72	79	78	24	41

Event	Season	CN	PW	LH	RH	BE	BR	BU	PP	ST	CT	LH	RH	VE	GB	P1	P2	P3	P4	P5
Current	-	34	53	17	36	71	57	84	67	17	16	4	5	4	18	83	0	0	0	0
Projected	-	40	54	22	40	71	60	92	70	17	23	5	10	4	17	95	0	0	0	0

Player 2: 5 pro, 0 ML

Event	Season	Height	Weight	OV	RA	GL	AS	AA	PC	DU	HE	SP	PA	TP	MK
Current	-	5-10	186	70	80	79	88	70	6	82	72	67	77	33	88
Projected	-	5-10	191	71	80	81	88	75	6	82	72	68	77	30	88

Event	Season	CN	PW	LH	RH	BE	BR	BU	PP	ST	CT	LH	RH	VE	GB	P1	P2	P3	P4	P5
Current	-	27	51	56	70	59	76	42	55	22	10	2	2	6	30	62	0	0	0	0
Projected	-	27	51	56	71	59	77	44	57	23	12	3	2	6	32	66	0	0	0	0

Player 3: 3 years pro, 0 ML

Event	Season	Height	Weight	OV	RA	GL	AS	AA	PC	DU	HE	SP	PA	TP	MK
Current	-	5-10	181	75	85	83	89	87	9	90	99	72	80	68	73
Projected	-	5-10	185	78	88	87	89	92	14	92	100	72	81	68	77

Event	Season	CN	PW	LH	RH	BE	BR	BU	PP	ST	CT	LH	RH	VE	GB	P1	P2	P3	P4	P5
Current	-	49	56	53	44	45	74	80	71	30	13	1	1	0	25	57	0	0	0	0
Projected	-	49	56	54	44	52	77	84	76	30	15	3	3	0	26	67	0	0	0	0

Posted by robusk on 8/4/2010 11:15:00 AM (view original):

Posted by tylermathias on 8/4/2010 11:13:00 AM (view original):

Posted by robusk on 8/4/2010 11:00:00 AM (view original):

Posted by tylermathias on 8/4/2010 10:29:00 AM (view original):

Posted by robusk on 8/4/2010 10:25:00 AM (view original):

Posted by larry_jew on 8/4/2010 10:16:00 AM (view original):

Posted by r0b0t on 8/4/2010 10:13:00 AM (view original):

Posted by larry_jew on 8/4/2010 10:11:00 AM (view original):
You've got to be siriusly damaged to drink a coke with breakfast.

kbjone is damaged?

Heh.

This dude I work with decided he was going to get back in shape.  The first phase of his plan was to drink large quantities of gatorade.  Eventually he ran like a quarter mile but hurt his leg and had to quit.  He still drinks gatorade though.

Retarded...  drinking Gatorade is stupid 99% of the time anyway.

Just drink water.  It is delicious.

G2 isn't too bad.  Even so, I've cut down to 3 a week, only having them when I'm actually exercising.  Grape G2 is a top 5 non-alcoholic beverage in the tastiness department.

I've always been very pro-water.  I guarantee I'm a top 3 SHoFer (if not #1) in the DWCBV rankings.

I am going through like a 1L Nalgiene every 1.5 hours give or take.

For the whole time you're awake?  That's what, 10 or 11 L a day probably?  That is impressive.  I'd guess I'm in the 7-9 range, which is a shitload of water.

I lay off for the last couple of hours of the day...  but 8-10 sounds about right.  I do work out at least once a day and it is mostly endurance type stuff...  so it is necessary.

Staring contests?

I guess it is more cardio than endurance...  makes it sounds like I am running marathons every day.

Generally, a 4-8 miles run 3-4 times a week, 14 miles of bike riding round trip to and from work M-F, plus another 15 or so miles 3-4 times a week in the afternoon...  Then, Army style pushup, situp, squat, pullup routines for about an hour a few more times a week.

#3 SS I guess

Posted by dherz_263 on 8/4/2010 11:24:00 AM (view original):
thoughts on these three Shortstops, who would you want playing for you this season:

Player 1: 5 Pro years, 1 year ML service

Event	Season	Height	Weight	OV	RA	GL	AS	AA	PC	DU	HE	SP	PA	TP	MK
Current	-	5-10	173	69	88	84	93	91	0	88	72	79	78	24	41
Projected	-	5-10	178	74	89	89	93	95	0	94	72	79	78	24	41

Event	Season	CN	PW	LH	RH	BE	BR	BU	PP	ST	CT	LH	RH	VE	GB	P1	P2	P3	P4	P5
Current	-	34	53	17	36	71	57	84	67	17	16	4	5	4	18	83	0	0	0	0
Projected	-	40	54	22	40	71	60	92	70	17	23	5	10	4	17	95	0	0	0	0

Player 2: 5 pro, 0 ML

Event	Season	Height	Weight	OV	RA	GL	AS	AA	PC	DU	HE	SP	PA	TP	MK
Current	-	5-10	186	70	80	79	88	70	6	82	72	67	77	33	88
Projected	-	5-10	191	71	80	81	88	75	6	82	72	68	77	30	88

Event	Season	CN	PW	LH	RH	BE	BR	BU	PP	ST	CT	LH	RH	VE	GB	P1	P2	P3	P4	P5
Current	-	27	51	56	70	59	76	42	55	22	10	2	2	6	30	62	0	0	0	0
Projected	-	27	51	56	71	59	77	44	57	23	12	3	2	6	32	66	0	0	0	0

Player 3: 3 years pro, 0 ML

Event	Season	Height	Weight	OV	RA	GL	AS	AA	PC	DU	HE	SP	PA	TP	MK
Current	-	5-10	181	75	85	83	89	87	9	90	99	72	80	68	73
Projected	-	5-10	185	78	88	87	89	92	14	92	100	72	81	68	77

Event	Season	CN	PW	LH	RH	BE	BR	BU	PP	ST	CT	LH	RH	VE	GB	P1	P2	P3	P4	P5
Current	-	49	56	53	44	45	74	80	71	30	13	1	1	0	25	57	0	0	0	0
Projected	-	49	56	54	44	52	77	84	76	30	15	3	3	0	26	67	0	0	0	0

D

Posted by tylermathias on 8/4/2010 11:13:00 AM (view original):

Posted by robusk on 8/4/2010 11:00:00 AM (view original):

Posted by tylermathias on 8/4/2010 10:29:00 AM (view original):

Posted by robusk on 8/4/2010 10:25:00 AM (view original):

Posted by larry_jew on 8/4/2010 10:16:00 AM (view original):

Posted by r0b0t on 8/4/2010 10:13:00 AM (view original):

Posted by larry_jew on 8/4/2010 10:11:00 AM (view original):
You've got to be siriusly damaged to drink a coke with breakfast.

kbjone is damaged?

Heh.

This dude I work with decided he was going to get back in shape.  The first phase of his plan was to drink large quantities of gatorade.  Eventually he ran like a quarter mile but hurt his leg and had to quit.  He still drinks gatorade though.

Retarded...  drinking Gatorade is stupid 99% of the time anyway.

Just drink water.  It is delicious.

G2 isn't too bad.  Even so, I've cut down to 3 a week, only having them when I'm actually exercising.  Grape G2 is a top 5 non-alcoholic beverage in the tastiness department.

I've always been very pro-water.  I guarantee I'm a top 3 SHoFer (if not #1) in the DWCBV rankings.

I am going through like a 1L Nalgiene every 1.5 hours give or take.

For the whole time you're awake?  That's what, 10 or 11 L a day probably?  That is impressive.  I'd guess I'm in the 7-9 range, which is a shitload of water.

His **** isn't just clear, it's invisible. The only way he can tell if he's hitting the bowl is by sound.

Posted by r0b0t on 8/4/2010 10:48:00 AM (view original):

Posted by larry_jew on 8/4/2010 10:44:00 AM (view original):

Posted by tylermathias on 8/4/2010 10:42:00 AM (view original):

Posted by r0b0t on 8/4/2010 10:38:00 AM (view original):

Posted by tylermathias on 8/4/2010 10:38:00 AM (view original):

Posted by r0b0t on 8/4/2010 10:35:00 AM (view original):

Posted by dmurphy104 on 8/4/2010 10:31:00 AM (view original):
heh. TM would have us believe he exercises 3 times a week.

Sometimes he has to sprint to get to the microwave before it starts beeping.

Funny, if a little metaphysically awkward.

If it beeps, then the Lawyyark will know you're snacking.

Then why wouldn't I just stay within site of the timer and save myself the run?  Think, man.

oh ****, tm just got homophowned.  Best shtickless day ever.

moy will be so confused.

I say everyone thumb that post down, to shame him.

I'm not following. . . .

Posted by robusk on 8/4/2010 11:26:00 AM (view original):
#3 SS I guess

He's the only real candidate for the job going forward, I agree.  Just dont want to leave development points on the table for him.  Tavarez's sub 200 avg isnt going to cut it, particularly as he's not as lights out defensively as I'd have thought he'd be.

coffee during the day and beer in the evening - thats all the fuel I need.

Posted by tylermathias on 8/4/2010 10:48:00 AM (view original):
Bot's outside his usual wheelhouse this morning.  It's enjoyable and thumb-magnetty.

I own several wheelhouses and can store my wheels where I please.

Posted by tylermathias on 8/4/2010 11:13:00 AM (view original):

Posted by robusk on 8/4/2010 11:00:00 AM (view original):

Posted by tylermathias on 8/4/2010 10:29:00 AM (view original):

Posted by robusk on 8/4/2010 10:25:00 AM (view original):

Posted by larry_jew on 8/4/2010 10:16:00 AM (view original):

Posted by r0b0t on 8/4/2010 10:13:00 AM (view original):

Posted by larry_jew on 8/4/2010 10:11:00 AM (view original):
You've got to be siriusly damaged to drink a coke with breakfast.

kbjone is damaged?

Heh.

This dude I work with decided he was going to get back in shape.  The first phase of his plan was to drink large quantities of gatorade.  Eventually he ran like a quarter mile but hurt his leg and had to quit.  He still drinks gatorade though.

Retarded...  drinking Gatorade is stupid 99% of the time anyway.

Just drink water.  It is delicious.

G2 isn't too bad.  Even so, I've cut down to 3 a week, only having them when I'm actually exercising.  Grape G2 is a top 5 non-alcoholic beverage in the tastiness department.

I've always been very pro-water.  I guarantee I'm a top 3 SHoFer (if not #1) in the DWCBV rankings.

I am going through like a 1L Nalgiene every 1.5 hours give or take.

For the whole time you're awake?  That's what, 10 or 11 L a day probably?  That is impressive.  I'd guess I'm in the 7-9 range, which is a shitload of water.

I'd say I'm around five.

Posted by r0b0t on 8/4/2010 11:50:00 AM (view original):

Posted by tylermathias on 8/4/2010 10:48:00 AM (view original):
Bot's outside his usual wheelhouse this morning.  It's enjoyable and thumb-magnetty.

I own several wheelhouses and can store my wheels where I please.

You can only have one wheelhouse, that's just science.

Posted by r0b0t on 8/4/2010 11:50:00 AM (view original):

Posted by tylermathias on 8/4/2010 10:48:00 AM (view original):
Bot's outside his usual wheelhouse this morning.  It's enjoyable and thumb-magnetty.

I own several wheelhouses and can store my wheels where I please.

Double post replaced with complaint.

Stupid, stupid Ryan Howard's ankle.