Quote: Originally Posted By Oli35 on 5/14/2010pssst Ron, don't tell anybody but there is no salary cap, no Santa Claus, and I am not sure about the tooth fairy eithe
Oh, there's a damn tooth fairy all right...
Last Friday morning I wake up and hear my 7 year old weeping in the hallway. Immediately, I think back in horror to the previous night when my wife assigned me the Tooth Fairy duty which normally she takes care of. Of course I was working on my 16 x 16 picks at the time and it went in one ear and out the other... My wife asks "What's the matter honey?" and I cringe as my son replies that the Tooth Fairy didn't come and wants to know what he did wrong. I spring out of bed, endure the wife's death glares, and explain to my son that this thing happens all the time, that the tooth fairy gets very busy sometimes and undoubtedly would be there that night.
Well of course Friday night comes and my wife reminds me a couple of times and I say "yeah, yeah" and she goes to bed and I work a little on the 16 x 16 draft and I fall asleep on the couch and get up later and go to bed smirking to myself at all the expensive Whitehills still on the board.
Saturday morning comes and I bolt upright at 06:55 realizing I'm a complete moron. I consider sneaking in to my son's room but Ben gets up every morning at 07:00 like clockwork and I don't think I can pull it off. So I race to the computer and fake an e-mail from the advising Ben that she was very sick with a bad case of molar-itis and that she had not forgotten him but was bed ridden and would retrieve his tooth when she was able to fly again. I race upstairs and show him the e-mail as he exits the room and it works. Of course, it didn't work so well on the wife...
Saturday afternoon comes and the next crisis occurs when Ben realizes he has now actually lost his tooth. We can't find it anywhere. Turns out his 3 year old brother and 1 year old brother were playing in his room and after an extensive search I come to believe the baby may have eaten it. Now the 7 year is crying because he thinks he won't get money for it anymore, the 5 year old thinks its hilarious, the 3 year old is mad that he's being blamed for it, the 1 year old is happy and content with all the commotion, and the wife is continuing, and even intensifying, the death glares.
I solve the problem by having Ben write a nice note to the damn tooth fairy explaining his brothers lost his tooth and leaving the note under the pillow.
Saturday night I'm on my game. Once the boys are sound asleep I sneak in and leave a $5.00 bill (is that the going rate everywhere?? seems to me I got a quarter as a kid but my wife thinks 5.00 is good now) and I exchange his note with one from the tooth fairy describing all the cool vomiting and other side effects that accompany molar-itis and indicating not to worry that she actually found his lost tooth with her tooth radar and everything was good.
And everything was good until Wednesday evening when the stupid tooth somehow showed up on the carpet downstairs. And of course, then it was another dramatic episode with both the 7 year old and 5 year old wondering why the tooth fairy lied, the 3 year old upset that they were upset, the 1 year happy and content, and the wife.....well, let's just say I think I'm safe from ever having to do Tooth Fairy duty ever again...