Area51man, please select your first round playoff opponent.

NL Awards -

Jose Lima Award (worst pitcher): Andy Benes - Twit Of the Year Competition. 0-22 record, 23.10 ERA, and 4.27 WHIP. Incredible consistency - not a single good outing all season. There are numerous worthy candidates, but since Benes played for my team, and he did suck, he gets the award.

Byung Hung A Curve Award (worst reliever - also known as the Makes Me Puke Award and the Drop Napalm Bombs On A Loaded Oil Super Tanker Award:  Gabe White, Cantz. Again, many worthy candidates. After a heated debate, Gabe White was chosen. The biggest problem with Gabe White was no blown saves - but he had zero saves. Gabe started five games but had 32 relief appearances. He had an ERA of 30.22 despite pitching 72.67 innings. He gave up 55 HRs, 118 walks, and somehow struck out 16 batters. He was crucial to Cantz' late season collapse.

Iron Glove Awards:

C: Tim Raines, Cantz. 99 passed balls in 22 games, and he threw out only 0.051 of would be base stealers. Greg Luzinski could have stolen four bases off this guy.
1B: Frank Howard, Dr. Strangeglove's All Stars. It's almost impossible to be a bad first baseman in this game, but Frank managed 9 errors in 55 games and had no range. This position is the only one where there were not multiple strong candidates.
2B: Willie McCovey, Dr. Strangeglove's All Stars. 79 errors, 35 negative plays, and no range. A one man disaster area. I've sen six year old boys play better at 2B.
3B: Lou Brock, Up Schitt's Creek. 0.884 fielding % and below average range. Lou did many things well. Playing third was not one of them.
SS: Edgar Martinez, Bobbleheads. 109 errors in 73 games with a 0.719 fielding %. Only nine negative plays, but 109 errors in 73 games. He and Willie McCovey are the Double Play Combination From Hell.
OF: David Ortiz, Dr. Strangeglove's All Stars. David committed 37 errors in 55 games, but he had a fielding % of 0.704 and a RF of 1.625. When I presented this award to Big Papi, he yelled "THIS IS MY F***ING AWARD!!!!" - and then dropped the trophy.
OF: Warren Cromartie, Petrified Gopher Turtles. 19 errors, 11 negative plays, 0.906 fielding % and 1.317 RF. I would rather have an actual petrified turtle out there.
OF: Ted Simmons, Petrified Gopher Turtles. In 79 OF games, 9 negative plays, 12 errors, and a fielding % of 0.906. RF of 1.583. Ted was one of my favorite players growing up, but I vividly remember seeing him in LF one night. Ted was hustling - oh, yes, he was hustling - but he sure was not getting there. I had no idea what in the heck he was doing in LF.

My SS (Mantle) and 2B (Reggie Jackson) coulda been contenders for the Iron Glove, if only I had seen their potential earlier in the season. Mantle had 46 errors in 45 games at short and Jackson had 63 in 44 games at second.

AL Awards:

Jose Lima Award: Brian Bohanan, Ten Thumbs. Pitching was not nearly as awful in the AL. Brian went 2-19 in 32 starts. In 124.3 innings,he surrendered 37 HRs, walked 97, struck out 79, like Nigel Tufnel's amp in Spinal Tap, Brian can say that "[my ERA] has got 11."

Byung Hung A Curve Award: Alan Embree, Did I Do That? Most award winners are described as someone "who got the job done." With an ERA of 31.82, a WHIP of 6.82, 46 HRs in 61.67 innings, 116 walks and four Ks, it is safe to say that Alan immolated himself and his teammates every time he took the mound. There were other worthy candidates, but I saw none with even 50 IP.

Iron Glove Awards:

C: Victor Martinez, Flubs, Slugs & Scrubs. Perhaps my hardest decision with Tim "Sockeye" Salmon having 102 PB in 45 games. But Victor Martinez is an actual REAL LIFE catcher. In 156 games, he managed "only" 36 PB but threw out 15 of 376 would be base stealers. My mother had three stolen bases against this guy. Add 42 errors at catcher - how in the heck can you commit 42 errors as a catcher???? - and we have our winner.
1B: Lee Mazzilli, All Or nothing - an epic failure. Again, it's almost impossible to be a bad 1B in this game. Lee managed 8 errors, 9 negative plays and a range factor of 8.975. Stephen Hawking has better range than Lee Mazzilli.
2B: Rod Carew, All or nothing - an epic failure. With 96 errors, 20 negative plays and a fielding % of 0.858, Rod failed to bring his glove to the ballpark. Every. Single. Day.
3B: Edgar Martinez, Don't Stop Running. Edgar may not have stopped running, but he darn sure quit fielding. 52 errors, 31 negative plays, 0.888 fielding % and 2.736 RF. He might have had no range, but Edgar sure could not catch anything.
SS: A tie - to recognize the two worst fielders this side of Homer Simpson, this award is given to both Michael Young, All or nothing - an epic failure, and Felipe Alou, Did I Do That? Yes, Felipe, you sure did.
Michael Young:  202 errors, 26 negative plays, 0.742 fielding % and 3.853 RF.
Felipe Alou: 185 errors, 16 negative plays, 0.749 fielding % and 3.888 RF. Compared to Michael Young, Felipe is Ozzie Smith. Compared to everyone else, Felipe is like watching Pete Carroll decide to pass on second on goal in the Super Bowl with Marshawn Lynch in the backfield - over and over and over and over.
OF: Al Oliver, Did I Do That? Al may have done "that", but "that" did not involve catching the ball consistently. He had a 2.355 RF but still managed 14 negative plays and 19 errors in 80 games.
OF: Al Oliver, Did I Do That? In his other 82 games, Al managed 13 more errors, 8 more negative plays, a fielding % of 0.893 and a RF of 1.505. Al earned  two Iron Gloves in one season by stinking up the joint in CF and RF.
OF: Mitchell Page, Lonesome Losers. Mitchell managed 13 errors, 4 negative plays, a fielding % of 0.885 and a RF of 1.493 in 69 games. Mitchell will likely be traded from the Lonesome Losers this off season to the Banished Failures. Mitchell was not even good enough to be a Lonesome Loser.

Posted by hacker7 on 3/20/2015 7:34:00 PM (view original):
My SS (Mantle) and 2B (Reggie Jackson) coulda been contenders for the Iron Glove, if only I had seen their potential earlier in the season. Mantle had 46 errors in 45 games at short and Jackson had 63 in 44 games at second.

Reggie nearly won. Mickey barely got noticed with only 46 errors. Seriously.

I'll take Oli35's Lonesome Losers.

OK, 2chair - pick an opponent

Other than that how was the play Mrs Lincoln?

Don't stop running

So here are the first round matchups.

Area51man (Bad to the Bone) vs. Oli35 (Lonesome Losers)
2chair (Twit Of The Year Competition) vs. barracuda3 (OtherThanThatHowWasThe Play Mrs Lincoln?)
rickysdad44 (All or nothing - an epic failure) vs. zephyr1949 (Don't Stop Running)
calhoop (Cantz) vs. schwarze (Solo HRs, I Hope)

I'd like to do this league again; is there interest in doing that?

I might run it again, with some rules tweaks.

My team may have sucked, but I did something I didn't know was possible: having the same player win two Iron Glove awards.