How do you guys tell the player he's going to be cut after the season? He's not really a bad player, I just found a better player to replace him. I know he's going to be hurt, so I don't know if I should just be blunt or if I should break it to him gently?

"It's not you, it's me."

Have an assistant coach tell him via text message. Why should you have to deal with such unpleasantness?

Maybe like a reverse Twitter commitment announcement...

"We at State U are honored and blessed to announce that Billy Ballplayer will no longer be pursuing his academic and basketball future here. 100%"

Out of high school, I got an academic scholarship to BYU. (I tried it for one semester and left. Not the place for me.) Anyway, the summer before the semester starts I get a nice letter from the dean’s office or whatever the hell. The letter states that their department made an error in awarding me a scholarship because my GPA/ACT index put me just under the line. However the mistake, by a token of their honor, they were still going to award me part of my tuition as promised. The letter, they felt, was necessary to inform me I was undeserving. Sent with love. Warmest of welcomes!

I might send a letter like,”Those 10 minutes a game I played you were generous considering you averaged 1 foul for every 3 minutes on court. Sorry kid, your index numbers fall under the line. And here at Illinois Technical State College of the Woodlands we don’t have an honor code. Bye Felicia.”

hey john, great news! i just heard the dean approved your full scholarship next year, to any school in the country except this one. no need to thank me bro, you know im always looking out. always got your back. alright ill catch you later, oh yeah one more thing, i got this 100 dollar voucher to greyhound, it expires on friday, ill just slip that in your coat pocket here. just one more reason to celebrate. you know what? we should celebrate, i heard about this kicking party in the club down town thats got all the hotties. oh man, **** man, my bro just texted me, he says there's so many hotties they aren't allowing just any dudes in, only bros associated with the basketball team. you know what im saying? unfortunately bro, that no longer includes you. man im sorry about that, this party is going to be the ****, i cant believe you are going to miss this party. how lame is that? if only it was last night, right bro? sorry man, guess that's just how it goes sometimes. well, i got to go get in on this, you feel me right? YOU feel me, right? you feel me.... right? alright cool man never change im out

I was thinking about dating his mom until right before I'm ready to cut him, then breaking up with her. That way he's relieved to get away from me and will think it was due to the awkwardness of the situation.

I just send a sympathy card to his widow because he is dead to me.

It took me an hour to console the Widow McCumiskey.

I lie to them and tell them I only recruit starters. Some are future starters at this college and some are future starters at other colleges. There is a college out there that wants you to start for them. You just have to be available and that's what I am doing for you.