all good points... definitely there is a lot of realism cherry picking that goes on. its not really clear how to deal with it, but i like to think of it like this - the sim engine itself has to be pretty realistic for any of us to be interested in the first place. not all changes to make the sim engine more realistic fit in the current way the game works (at least not in a vacuum), but in general reality seems like the right starting point for the sim engine. i think there are some gray areas like player emotions (player loses a parent, then sucks for the next 10 games, or transfers back home) that get dicey, but overall making it realistic is an important goal.
the rest of the game around it is a lot more nebulous. some aspects seem extremely difficult to bring into HD, and in a lot of cases sound no fun at all - like dealing with your NCAA compliance office, getting players to class, winning over a recruit's parents, office politics, a recruit dying in a car crash, etc, etc... just goes on forever. but also, if the game doesn't remotely resemble running a basketball team, its problematic. in general, outside the sim engine, i think making an enjoyable game has to be the prime directive, with moderate effort to keep basketball flavor.
the one thing that annoys me is when folks point to reality as the only metric that matters. its almost always relevant, but its almost never the whole story. i agree with ABG that our value on realism is always biased by whether we like the idea in the first place or not, not sure there is anything to be done about that, except the generic making a good-faith effort to be open minded, i guess.