Episode 1
Upon a dark background, white block letters say ‘PREVIOUSLY ON BOUNCE OF THE DRAGON. The Os are filled in as though they are basketballs.
Scene opens to thousands of carrier pigeons flying back and forth across the night sky. The camera zooms in and focuses on one pigeon that is struggling with the weight of a particularly large stack of letters. The pigeon dips down through the sky toward a great city surrounded by a high wall. We see a great dome in the distance, the top of which sports the lines of a basketball. Rising above the rest of the city we see a royal castle with huge towers. The pigeon wobbles through the air towards one of the towers and towards an open window. We follow the bird through the window into a grand chamber at the end of which sits a great throne made entirely of swords. Someone is walking up the steps to the throne wearing a magnificent crown. They stoop as they walk and take small steps as if climbing the throne is a great ordeal. Yet when the pigeon swoops towards them, their hand stretches out with lightning quick reflexes, catching the pigeon and untying the letter in one fluid motion. Their hands tremble as they unfold the letter and we hear a voice say, “What could it be this time?” The letter unfolds and we see the following message written:
“I don't have any reason to think that being transparent will generate the benefit of the doubt the next time I say something, so I'm just going to say this for posterity and not respond to any ad hominem responses... Sir Ewing is trash.”
The hands holding the letter ball into fists, crumbling the paper between them. The camera pans out and we see the crowned face of King robusk with a pained look on his face.
The scene fades to the throne room of the Red Keep. The camera pans down from the rafters and we see the balcony level of the castle where a number of very beefy cows are crammed into office chairs around tiny desks. On top of each desk we see an abacus and each cow is furiously calculating something with their device. Next the camera pans into the great hall where a number of knights are stationed near the door watching the proceedings unfold. Sir Dwight and Sir Artis are having a farting contest as Sir Luka mindlessly twirls his sword in an unnecessarily complicated pattern. It clangs to the floor and Sir Barkley and Sir Rodman both scramble to grab it first. Further on in the throne room, we see two new lords kneeling in front of an iron throne made from swords. Lining the throne on either side we see the twelve knights of the Kingsguard clad in their white robes, and sitting on the throne itself, we see King robusk. The king stands and descends the steps of the throne until he is next to the two kneelers. He raises his sword before placing it on each of the shoulders of the two kneelers. “Rise now as Lord beloud and Lord kammeyer. You may be new to the Savagelands, but now that you are lords you may fight for me instead of these pretenders trying to take my throne. You can each pick twelve of the knights from the city to fight by your side.
Lord kammeyer: “Sir Dwight and Sir Artis of course, and let me think. I need a knight who can strike from the outside, who can challenge the likes of Sir LeBron and think he’s just as good. I know! I’ll take Sir Pierce!”
Lord beloud: “You do know he’s in a wheelchair and can’t fight right? He’s your third pick? Really?”
Our camera zooms in on Lord kammeyer’s horrified face before cutting to outside the castle where we see Lord bds, 9992nd of his name, trying to peer into a window and Lord rifton who is sitting down on the street next to him eating an apple.
Lord bds, 9992nd of his name: “It is just like Robert to exclude me from the castle after first welcoming me with open arms. I’m one of the new lords too!”
Lord rifton: “I thought you were already one of the lords of the Savagelands long ago?”
Lord bds, 9992nd of his name: “Well I wasn’t a lord then. The old King, King pexetera beheaded me, and I came back as a zombie. But now I’m back for real and the first thing the new King does is take my pigeons away!”
Lord rifton: “King Robusk took all my pigeons too. And to make things worse, now my lady wife won’t have sex with me!”
The screen darkens to black and we see a disclaimer in white letters appear: ALL CHARACTERS AND EVENTS IN THIS CARTOON, EVEN THOSE BASED ON REAL PEOPLE, ARE FICTIONAL AND ALL VOICES ARE OBVIOUSLY IMPERSONATED. The letters disappear and new letters take its place: GAME OF ZONES PRESENTS: BOUNCE OF THE DRAGON. The Os are basketballs. These letters too disappear and a cartoon dragon clad in armor is seen dribbling a basketball between its legs next to new letters: EPISODE 1: REGULAR SEASON.
Scene opens to two knights riding on horseback on the King’s Road. Above them the sky is dark with carrier pigeons flying to and forth. In the distance we see their destination. The towers of the Red Keep stand high above the capital city of King’s Landing. The two knights come into focus and we see that they are Sir Robinson of House robusk who is wearing the white cloak of the kingsguard and Sir Duncan of House ashamael.
Sir Robinson: “Hard to see where we are going with all those pigeons in the sky. Quite the discourse lately throughout the realm.”
Sir Duncan: “Indeed. We have been told that King robusk grows old and weak and that the line of succession is in doubt. Lords from across the realm have been talking and some believe that they may even be the next Savage King. Is this true?”
Sir Robinson: “Don’t believe everything you hear. King robusk has ruled the Savage Lands for a long time, longer than any other King. His reign will not be so easily challenged.”
Sir Duncan: “But I heard that it was King robusk himself who has been telling people that he fears his time as the king is about to come to an end?”
Sir Robinson: “Well, yes. If you listen to the king, then there are like ten other lords who are better positioned than him to take the throne.”
Sir Duncan: “I heard Lord chewy is the favorite, but that can’t be right. His best knight is Sir Harden and he’s never won anything. Then there is Lord ragged, the clawed, and Lord be, the loud. Their knights have been fighting excellently.”
Sir Robinson: “But Lord be, the loud, is new to the Savagelands, I thought everyone struggled their first time?”
Sir Duncan: “He actually fought in one of the Savage Wars long ago. Didn’t fare that well. But now he’s back with a vengeance after King robusk and his red priest ran a smear campaign against him. His own campaign to become king has never been stronger. My own Lord ashamael is in striking distance as well. I hope we run into him on our way to the Red Keep.”
Sir Robinson: “Isn’t he one of the two red priests that sometimes advises the King? How do you ever tell them apart?”
Sir Duncan: “I don’t. Ahh, look who it is up ahead. Sir Manu of the City Watch, and Sir Parker the undrafted.”
The two knights have come to the city gates. Standing in front of them we see Sir Manu wearing the gold cloak that all knights of Lord dh555 wear and Sir Parker who is dressed in commoners clothes.
Sir Manu: “I am sorry, Sir Parker. It is the decree of Lord dh555 himself, Commander of the Gold Cloaks and Commissioner of the five great battles. No one is to enter or exit the city except for the knights who are fighting for their lords. And you Sir, unfortunately were not selected by any of the knights.”
Sir Duncan: “Hail, Sir Manu, Sir Parker. It has been a long while since we were last acquainted.”
Sir Parker: “Sir Duncan! Sir Robinson! Can you please tell Sir Manu to let me in? For old times sake?”
Sir Robinson: “We are sorry, Sir Parker, but King robusk has always been very hard on cheaters.”
Sir Robinson and Sir Duncan ride through the city gates to see a number of gold cloaks escorting two lords out of the city. Sir Garnett and Sir Holiday, the two lead knights of Lord dh555 are dragging Lord bds, 9992nd of his name, and Lord kammeyer through the streets. Lord kammeyer seems to be resigned to his fate, but Lord bds, 9992nd of his name, if fighting every step of the way.
Sir Garnett: “Come on, stop dragging your feet. You took last in the fighting so you have been relegated out of the city.”
Lord bds9992, 92nd of his name: “Wait, you are making a mistake! I am the prince that was promised! I saw it all in a dream! I need to take the throne or the entire realm will be destroyed!”
Lord kammeyer: “If only I hadn’t selected Sir Pierce, I’d still be fighting.”
Sir Garnett: “All he’s good for is stealing MVP awards and crapping his pants during important fights.”
Sir Robinson and Sir Duncan continue through the winding roads of the city. They pass by a rowdy tavern and our camera cuts inside. Loud music fills our ears and we see a number of lords drinking and sharing tales. In a booth on one side, Lord dBKC has thumbtacked a number of small pieces of parchment to the wall. There are strings connecting them to each other and he is wildly trying to explain to anyone who will listen how he has finally cracked the code.
On the other side of the tavern Lord gerry the Red sits down at a booth occupied by Lord steelers, 821st of his name, Lord jcred, 5th of his name, and Lord ks, 20th of his name.
Lord steelers, 821st of his name: “I finally had my first birthday of the year! Of course it had to come right after my first **** sandwich.”
Lord gerry the Red: “What do you mean your first birthday of the year? Doesn’t everyone get a birthday every year?”
Lord ks, 20th of his name: “I’ve never had a birthday before. Not a single time.”
Lord jcred, 5th of his name: “I’m not sure which I’ve had more of, birthdays or extra fighting periods.”
Lord gerry the Red: “Huh, I guess it will be one of those things I will never understand, like why more people don’t draft Mark Price or what Pythagorean Wins are.”
Lord jcred, 5th of his name: “Doesn’t King robusk explain Pythagorean Wins to you every single season?”
Lord gerry the Red: “Anyways, the reason I stopped by the tavern this evening…” He looks around to make sure no one is listening. “I’ve heard that on Dragonstone, they are sending for lords to ride the unclaimed dragons. Whoever can tame one of the beasts will be a dragon rider and have a chance at winning the throne from under King robusk.”
We cut back to Sir Robinson and Sir Duncan riding through the streets and up to the huge towers of the Red Keep. The two knights enter the castle and we pan to the throne room.
King robusk is sitting on the iron throne, but he looks much older than he did before. His beard has grayed, his face has wrinkled, and every shift of his body seems to bring him great pain.
Sir Robinson enters the throne room and approaches.
Sir Robinson: “Your Grace, it is as you feared. The other lords may have been skeptical at first, but it seems like they now know what you knew all along. The throne is vulnerable for the first time in years, and the line of succession is unclear. Your Grace, now more than ever we must show strength. With the playoffs about to start we cannot afford to delay anymore. It is time.”
King robusk slowly stands up as if every little movement is a pain.
King robusk: “Sir Robinson, there’s something else I need to tell you. It may be difficult for you to understand, but you must hear it. It was not ambition alone that drove me to conquer the Savagelands and become king. It was a dream. I foresaw the end of the world. And when this end comes, all of the Savagelands must stand against it. If the other lords are insistent upon tearing this world apart for this throne, then I must ride to battle myself, defeat these pretenders, and restore the realm under my rule.”
Sir Robinson: “I shall prepare your steed at once your Grace.”
King robusk: “No. It has been far too long, but the hour grows late. I shall ride my dragon.”
We zoom in on his wrinkled face as our screen goes black and white block letters take over the screen: BOUNCE OF THE DRAGON.