Stat bashing 101

So you want a day off? Let's take a look at what you are asking for!

There are 365 days this year.

There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work.

Since you spend 16 hours each day away from work, you have used up 170 days, leaving only 91 days available.

You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee break. That accounts for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days available.

With a one hour lunch period each day, you have used up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work.

You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave. This leaves you only 20 days available for work.

We are off for 5 holidays per year, so your available working time is down to 15 days.

We generously give you 14 days vacation per year which leaves only one day available for work and I'll be damned if you're going to take that day off!

LOL. I love it.

Now here are some reasons to ban bread.


6. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.

5. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.

4. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.. 

3. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.

2. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.

1. Most bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.