I am completely lost on telling or even judging what a 5 star player looks.  I have read in the forums people talking about different star caliber players but how you come to those judgements?

Simple.  Go to the recruiting tab -- drop down to signings -- goto the DI screen and click on any name in the top 150.  You should see between one & five stars above the eligibility notice at the top.  If you have a DI team, then you will need advice from a DI coach on whether it has much meaning.  For DII and DIII teams, it means that these guys will send you either no response to an email or an insulting response and reject all your recruiting efforts.  Try it!  It should only cost you $10 out of your budget.