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HEADLINES /
THE EDITORS
Antisemitic Dem loses primary, Al Green defeated, Biden sues DOJ to block audio release, White House mulls NDAs for federal workers, and more.
OH THOSE DEMOCRATS!

JD Vance Breaks Down $164.6 Billion in Fraud
CATHERINE SALGADO
Why aren't Democrats talking about this?

The Perfect California Scam
DAVID STROM
Oh....This looks legit.

Here's Exactly How Karen Bass Broke an Electioneering Law
CATHERINE SALGADO
Why isn't the Fake News talking about this?

What's He Got to Hide? Joe Biden Sues the DOJ to Keep Damaging Audio Hidden
MATT MARGOLIS
Watch out! He's sharp as a tack!

Jacob Frey’s Little Sidekick Police Chief Dealt Career Blow After Deleting Evidence in Sex Probe
Rusty Weiss
Oh those Democrats!

The Trial Against James Comey Just Got a Significant Delay
Joseph Chalfant
Comey faces up to 20 years in federal prison should he be convicted.


HUMOR / THE BABYLON BEE
BANGOR, ME — Democratic Senate candidate Graham Platner has smoothed things over with supporters by covering up his Nazi death squad tattoo with a new tattoo of the communist hammer and sickle.
Liberals have praised the move by Platner, stating it shows “real maturity” but also maintains his authenticity by keeping the Nazi tattoo intact underneath.
“Listen, we all make mistakes when we’re young,” Platner told reporters while rolling up his sleeve to reveal a fresh portrait of Stalin. “Let he who hasn’t gotten a Nazi death squad tattoo cast the first stone, that’s what I always say. The important thing is growth, and I think this new ink reflects my true character.”
Polls currently show a tight race in Maine between the Nazi-Communist and Susan Collins. “On one hand, we have the blackout drunk getting Nazi executioner tattoos, and on the other hand, Susan Collins,” said local voter Marcia Banks. “Collins is very moderate and a bit boring, while Platner has moved from Auschwitz guard to gulag operator and likes to mock dead American soldiers. What to do, what to do.”
At publishing time, Platner had smoothed things over regarding his drunk driving arrests by assuring voters he now exclusively does cocaine.



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5/27/2026 5:45 PM (edited)