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HD Interviews are back, baby! Topic

girt25

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Since apparently several of the WIS gerbils have been on strike for much of 2011, I thought I would take it upon myself to resurrect a seemingly dormant (former) HD staple: the interview.

If you would like to be the subject of the next HD interview, please post in this thread and (concisely) explain why you deserve to receive this potentially life-changing opportunity and what is widely considered to be the single greatest honor that can be bestowed upon a fake college basketball coach.

Entrants will be judged on humor, creativity, HD resume and how large a GC is sent to me. I promise to remain impartial in my selection, except for the parts where I unabashedly favor conference mates and automatically disqualify anyone who has ever engaged me in a recruiting battle.

No sitemails.

7/14/2011 7:07 AM

dacj501

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ohh pick me!pick me! I've got the conference mate part...

7/14/2011 7:08 AM

colonels19

Posts: 4399 (0)

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I've been rather quiet over the past year, but I always have a lot to say...show me an interview that would get a better "rating" ;)

7/14/2011 8:52 AM

metsmax

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oh the humanity!! lets start with a ranking of the top 100 potential interviewees.............

7/14/2011 9:02 AM

alblack56

Posts: 3329 (0)

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I've already tried fake hair, so why not an interview with a fake coach? At least the interview won't smell when it gets wet.

Among my previous dubious accomplishments (all but one is true):

1) I embarrassed myself on a plane when I started discussing my WIS team with the cute young woman in the next seat:

2) I won $700 on a TV game show;

3) I'm a former stand-up comic:

4) I was selected as "Hottest Man Alive" by 'People' magazine:

5) I was picked from the audience to be onstage for the Broadway production of "25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee."

6) I taught country line dancing for 10 years;

7) I produced a public affairs radio program

8) At age 9, I was named a Junior Star Camper at 4-H camp

9) I won a blue ribbon at the Kentucky State Fair for a lamp that I made;

10) I'm a sign language interpreter

11) It doesn't affect me at all when, in a movie, the entire city gets demolished. But, if a dog loses his owner, I cry like a baby.

7/14/2011 12:13 PM (edited)

stinenavy

Posts: 4004 (0)

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I vote for seble even though his hd skillz leave much to be desired.

7/14/2011 9:53 AM

bhansalid00

Posts: 713 (0)

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109 204 8 1

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I've created over 30 seasons worth of fake teams, and faked success pretty well. I've brought fake recruits on fake trips to my fake campus, where they were introduced to fake "enthusiastic greeters" with fake breasts (ok, some of them were real). Once they signed my fake scholarship letter, I turned a fake blind eye when some of them received fake cars from a fake dealership owned by a fake booster who looks a lot like Buddy Garrity, only taller. My fake wife is pretty jealous of my real wife, but nevertheless invites the players over every week for fake dinners (veggie burgers and soy milk, mostly). Nothing's more important than fake team bonding. Even my hair is fake - I buy it from Nick Saban's guy.

Last item on the fake coach bucket list: a fake interview.

7/14/2011 10:18 AM

Weena

Posts: 579 (0)

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Great list, Al. I'm going to guess that #10 is the fake one.

I have a list also except in my list all but one is false.

1. I saved 13 cows from a burning semi by playing Bohemian Rhapsody on my accordian.

2. I was elected Mayor of my city after photoshopping pictures of all the other candidates in high school cheerleader outfits.

3. I have won over 50 HD NTs under my aliases of oldresorter, lostmyth, Rails, and Clairbear.

4. I lost a tooth on a trip to Lexington, Ky and had to fight 16 locals to get it back.

5. I once partied all night with members of Metalica and the Olsen twins.

6. In my job with the CIA, I have met Fidel Castro, Ben Stein, Chuck Barris, and Milo Huffnagel.

7. I gave James Cameron the idea for Avatar.

8. I once found John Gotti's wallet in a New York subway bathroom stall and returned it to him minus the cash.

9. I taught Lebron James how to head fake.

10. I fell through the ice and had to be rescued while climbing the glaciers in Iceland.

7/14/2011 11:23 AM

jetwildcat

Posts: 1204 (0)

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Posted by Weena on 7/14/2011 11:23:00 AM (view original):
Great list, Al. I'm going to guess that #10 is the fake one.

I have a list also except in my list all but one is false.

1. I saved 13 cows from a burning semi by playing Bohemian Rhapsody on my accordian.

2. I was elected Mayor of my city after photoshopping pictures of all the other candidates in high school cheerleader outfits.

3. I have won over 50 HD NTs under my aliases of oldresorter, lostmyth, Rails, and Clairbear.

4. I lost a tooth on a trip to Lexington, Ky and had to fight 16 locals to get it back.

5. I once partied all night with members of Metalica and the Olsen twins.

6. In my job with the CIA, I have met Fidel Castro, Ben Stein, Chuck Barris, and Milo Huffnagel.

7. I gave James Cameron the idea for Avatar.

8. I once found John Gotti's wallet in a New York subway bathroom stall and returned it to him minus the cash.

9. I taught Lebron James how to head fake.

10. I fell through the ice and had to be rescued while climbing the glaciers in Iceland.

interesting version of 2 truths and a lie

my guess is #6, 8 or 10

7/14/2011 11:37 AM

dahsdebater

Posts: 10046 (3)

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It's #2. That's how I'd try to become mayor, too. Or #5, but that's just boring.

7/14/2011 12:57 PM

wsut

Posts: 224 (0)

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Honestly, I think a 2 person interview would be great with someone like billyg and aejones .. billyg being the older veteran and aejones being probably the best coach around right now as far as d2/d3, guys got like 5 titles in his last 12 HD seasons or something crazy like that.

7/14/2011 1:12 PM

jamespastine

Posts: 74 (0)

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Girt, could you moderate an interview with alblack and weena?

7/14/2011 1:16 PM

alblack56

Posts: 3329 (0)

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Posted by jamespastine on 7/14/2011 1:16:00 PM (view original):
Girt, could you moderate an interview with alblack and weena?

Only acceptable if I choose the lighting and the seating.. I'm much older and need soft lighting and a seat with a built-in hemmoroid cushion

7/14/2011 1:21 PM

girt25

Posts: 2136 (0)

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Posted by alblack56 on 7/14/2011 1:21:00 PM (view original):
Posted by jamespastine on 7/14/2011 1:16:00 PM (view original):
Girt, could you moderate an interview with alblack and weena?
Only acceptable if I choose the lighting and the seating.. I'm much older and need soft lighting and a seat with a built-in hemmoroid cushion

They are both excellent candidates.

al has a major strike against him because he hijacked a recruit from me in Rupp D2 a season or so before I moved up.

Weena has a leg up because he has been a Rupp conference mate for quite some time, and is arguably one of the 20 greatest living Americans.

I will have to give this one some thought.

7/14/2011 4:53 PM

girt25

Posts: 2136 (0)

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Oh, and this is the recruit that al blatantly stole from me ... remember, this is a D2 recruit, you think maybe he could've helped out? (This guy would be the best guard on my DI Marshall team.)

750

Ratings
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Athleticism	77	3
Speed	96	4
Rebounding	12	4
Defense	81	1
Shot Blocking	17	6
Low-post	17	-1
Perimeter	96	6
Ball Handling	69
Passing	68
Work Ethic	56	9
Stamina	85	4
Durability	76

7/14/2011 6:30 PM (edited)

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