We need someone to take over
Chestnut Hill in the CAC in Naismith. We have an abundance of awesomeness in the conference, so we really just want someone who can take a beating and maintain a cheery disposition. The ability to commend other coaches on their success is a must. You need to be a good, but patient recruiter willing to go beyond the local market to attract basketball players. We prefer aliases (aliai?) with some sort of hidden meaning or comedic impact. There is already one Duke fan in the conference, so no more of you jokers, please. We will supply the successful candidate with an ***-ton of recruiting dollars owing to our perennial NT success. If you think you may be a fit for this position, get up on it.