Kamala Announces Construction Of 'Murderers Only' Express Lane At Southern Border
CRIME· Sep 28, 2024 · BabylonBee.com
CALEXICO, CA — Border Czarina Suprémè Kamala Harris has just announced that she will be implementing a new national security measure at the southern border checkpoints: a Murderers-Only Express Lane just for illegal immigrants who have been convicted of killing two or more people.
Sources within Kamala's administration say that the measure is meant to help reduce processing times at the border by not making murderers wait quite as long in line.
"We're really just hoping to provide an equitable entrance for these Democrat vot — I mean, honored guests of the United States," said Gayle Quimble, aide to Harris. "The new Murderers-Only lane will hopefully allow us to sort out the wheat from the chaff, so to speak. There are getting to be so many murderers, it's just clogging up the system."
Kamala Harris commented briefly on the situation, saying that she had no connection to the situation and that the country can't take four more years of this.
"When I am in office, from day one I will holistically be undoing the holistic mistakes of the current administration," said the Vice President of the current administration. "Holistically speaking, I have never been the Border Czar holistically, in a holistic sense, but I will solve the Border in a very quick yet holistic way. Holistic."
At publishing time, Kamala had also instructed border patrol agents to add lanes for Venezuelan gangs as it was getting too busy to process them all.
2:34Now playing
The Loftus Party
Hurricane Helene: Eight migrants were taken into custody on Saturday for looting in flood-ravaged sections of Washington County.
Eight migrants were taken into custody on Saturday for looting in flood-ravaged sections of Washington County. Sheriff Keith Sexton informed them that they all will appear in court for initial hearings Monday.
Out of the eight individuals, who have been transferred to the Washington County Detention Center on $20,000 bonds each, five were accused of aggravated burglary for breaking into occupied structures, Knox News reported. These men were identified as Albin Nahun Vega-Rapalo, 24, Kevin Noe Martinez-Lopez, 25, Marvin Hernandez-Martinez, 43, David Bairon Rapalo-Rapalo, 37, and Dayln Gabriel Guillen Guillen, 37.
Jesus Leodan Garcia-Peneda, 51, Ersy Leonel Ortis-Valdez, 33, Josue Berardo Ortis-Valdez, 30, were charged with burglary.
The Biden-Harris administration has twisted and exploited a rule that was designed to limit illegal immigration.
Tom Cotton Warns Over $1 Billion in Gaza Aid Went to Terrorists
The Recently Arrested Afghan Terrorist Worked Where?
HE WORKED FOR THE CIA
The Disturbing Details About the Tren de Aragua Gang Members Wreaking Havoc in NYC
Aurora, CO Property Management Firm Sets Record Straight: Venezuelan Gangs Took Over, Gov't Did Nothing
Last year, when the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) initially issued its "final" nationwide crime data for 2022, the bureau reported that the country's violent crime rate decreased by 2.1 percent. Democrats quickly latched onto this purported percent change to counter Donald Trump's claims that crime is soaring under the Biden-Harris administration.However, a year later, the FBI has "quietly revised" those numbers, according to a RealClearInvestigations report by crime watchdog Dr. John Lott, correcting the dataset to show that violent crime actually increased in 2022 by 4.5 percent. This means the FBI was way off — by 6.6 percentage points. These additions include thousands more murders, rapes, robberies, and aggravated assaults, Lott says.
The federal law enforcement made no mention of this "stealth edit" in its September 2024 press release. "The question naturally arises: should the FBI's 2023 numbers be believed?" It's been more than three weeks since the FBI released the revised 2022 data, and the bureau has yet to make a public announcement explaining the discrepancy.
"I have checked the data on total violent crime from 2004 to 2022," Carl Moody, a professor at the College of William & Mary who specializes in studying crime, commented. "There were no revisions from 2004 to 2015, and from 2016 to 2020, there were small changes of less than one percentage point. The huge changes in 2021 and 2022, especially without an explanation, make it difficult to trust the FBI data."?
11/1/2024 8:17 PM (edited)