I was originally going to try to figure out the best ten teams and write evals for them, but then I decided A) There is no way I'm going to figure out the bet ten teams out of 120 teams and B) I didn't want to write evals for ten people and not write evals for fourteen people. So, please be patient, I will try to write 24 evals and I tend to spend too much time on each eval, so who knows when I will get to your team. By the way, I think your team is the best one.

By the way, I think your team is the best one.

*blushes*

The Naval Academy Cadets

8. samuelyork93 - David Robinson, Damian Lillard, Domantas Sabonis, Walt Frazier, Jakob Poeltl, Kevon Looney, Jarred Vanderbilt, Kyle Anderson, Kemba Walker, James Johnson, Wes Unseld, Day'Ron Sharpe

Batman - 90-91 David Robinson is a great anchor for this team. (Get it? David Robinson? The Admiral? Anchor? Midge, you never cease to amaze me!) The only thing I don't like about him is his passing, but hey, are you going to tell Margot Robbie to get lost because she has the hiccups?

Robin - I'm going to go with 19-20 Damian Lillard here. 300 X 3 = 900 the last time I checked. That is a good thing.

Alfred - Call me crazy, but I'm gonna say 23-24 Domantas Sabonis. His eggs are just under 61%, his CReb% is over 40%, his assist% is 25.7%.
His defense is.....isn't Margot Robbie pretty? I think so. I'm going to be calling eFG% eggs because I want to. It's easier. It's more funs to say someone has good eggs. If you don't like it write your congressman.

Offense - Nice inside outside thing with Robinson and Lillard. I would like to see fewer turnovers. Unless he is playing my team.

Defense - DRob is an A+, Walt Frazier is an A, Sabonis is an F, Lillard is a D. The plan here seems to be hide the bad guys behind the good guys, but having the bad guys out there is going to hurt.

Rebounding - Looks good to me, but then everybody's rebounding looks good compared to my teams. It appears that all of the bigs will be 10+ on OReb%.

Passing - The assist% looks fine, but this team is going to make too many turnovers.

Midge score - 910, that is 900 for Damian Lillard and 10 for Margot Robbie.

I just had half of the next one written and accidentally erased it. That is -10 points for Gryffindor.

Shep Gordon

18. benjoker - Larry Bird, Karl-Anthony Towns, Marcus Camby, Jaren Jackson, Victor Wembanyama, Bo Outlaw, Terry Porter, Trayce Jackson-Davis, Alex Caruso, Mo Bamba, Rajon Rondo, Moses Brown

Batman - 17-18 Karl-Anthony Towns does everything well but play defense, and he will be hiding behind Marcus Camby so hopefully that will work out okay.

Robin - 82-83 Larry Bird.....I would normally think of Bird as a Batman, but this is not the best Bird and I like this Towns better.

Alfred - 05-06 Marcus Camby provides defense rebounding and a bunch of stocks. he usually also passes well for a big, but not this one as much as some of his other seasons.

Offense - His top two usage guys have less than 52% eggs. His best offensive player's usage is only 22.9%. What is going to happen when he has those games where he doesn't shoot much? For Savage, I'm not thrilled with the offense.

Defense - Victor Wembanyama will be really good.....for about 25 minutes per game. Most of this team has pretty good D ratings, but this team will also miss a lot of shots which (I believe) gives the other team more opportunities to push the pace. The team does have good stocks, so it will be interesting to see just how good the defense is.

Rebounding - Ben told me that Larry Bird will be playing most of his minutes at guard, so the rebounding should be good.

Passing - There might be some issues when Rondo is on the bench as far as assist% goes. Let me rephrase that.....there are going to be some assist% issues when Rajon Rondo isn't playing.

Midge score - 97% - Larry Bird is 97% at SG. I'm not a fan of pairing 25 usage% with 97% effectiveness, but we'll see. Ben also told me that he is going for the five balanced team strategy. I don't think any of his teams will threaten to win a league title, so we will have to wait and see how the balanced approach works for him. I also want to mention the alarming lack of actual guards on his teams.

Emeril's Bistro

20. gerryred - Julius Erving, Kevin McHale, Jarrett Allen, Alonzo Mourning, Mike Conley, Brent Barry, Larry Nance Jr., A.C. Green, Mark Price, Clarence Weatherspoon, Nikola Mirotic, Tom Boerwinkle

Batman - 74-75 Julius Erving, even though the eggs aren't great the old ABA Dr. J seasons provide so much defense, rebounding stocks and quality hair.

Robin - 86-87 Kevin McHale, a big with over 60% eggs who also tosses in free throws at 83%, very nice. Plus, he was great on Cheers!

Alfred - 23-24 Mike Conley will give you close to 200 made three at 43% and has a terrific A/T ratio and will also toss in some steals. Good stuff.

Offense - McHale, Jarrett Allen, Conley, Brent Barry and Larry Nance Jr. all have nice eggs in support of Mourning and Erving. The hope is that Dr. J doesn't have too many of those 9 for 22 games.

Defense - The three man big rotation of Mourning, McHale and Allen should be fine, Mourning can block the shots and Allen can grab the rebounds. 40+ minutes per game of Erving at SG is pretty sweet. Weatherspoon has enough defense and defensive rebounding at SF to not be a weakness.

Rebounding - Erving's rebounding at SG makes up for McHale's weakness at PF. Jarrett Allen will be a plus when he is the game. The offensive rebounding looks fine, but the defensive rebounding seems a bit lacking.

Passing - The bigs don't really pass much. It's a bit of a shame that Conley can't play more minutes.

Midge score - 102 - Mike Conley made 102 turnovers in 2,193 minutes. I like it!

Jokic Was Robbed

24. raggedclaws - Kawhi Leonard, Joel Embiid, Shawn Kemp, Christian Wood, Montrezl Harrell, Enes Kanter, Mookie Blaylock, Nerlens Noel, Andre Iguodala, Mel Daniels, Larry Sanders, Reggie Miller

Batman - 22-23 Joel Embiid has 37.3 usage% to go with 57.3 eggs. He can only play 28 minutes per game, but I like those 28 minutes.

Robin - 23-24 Kawhi Leonard has good usage, good eggs, good defense, good rebounding at guard....good Robin!

Alfred - 93-94 Shawn Kemp is not really what I call an Alfred (glue guy), but he's more like another Batman. He was too good to not mention.

Offense - His big three is a pretty good foundation for a good offense. Then you throw in Christian Wood (62 eggs), Enes Kanter (59 eggs) and Montrezl Harrell (65 eggs) and this team is going to score some points.

Defense - Shawn Kemp (100 D 6.3% stocks) and Mookie Blaylock (90 D and 3.0 steal%) should provide enough resistance so this team can outscore opponents.

Rebounding - There are enough guys like Kemp, Kanter, Wood (at SF?) that the rebounding should be okay, not great, but okay.

Assists - The starting numbers look fine, but I think there might be some issues when Mookie Blaylock is on the bench.

Midge score - 771 - Embiid shot 771 free throws at 85.7%. He won't shoot that many in this league, but when he does shoot a lot I don't want to be the other team.

Hit the one in the middle

16. ncmusician_7 - Shaquille O'Neal, Luka Doncic, Bobby Jones, Derrick White, Chris Andersen, Brandan Wright, Dirk Nowitzki, Zach LaVine, Mo Cheeks, Amir Johnson, Ty Jerome, Taj Gibson

Batman - 99-00 Shaquille O'Neal is a good place to start. Excellent inside scoring punch, good offensive boards, good defense, will toss about some assists, eat a lot of pizza.

Robin - 19-20 Luka Doncic - Not my favorite Luka, but his DReb% is better than Shaq"s DReb%. Think about that for a minute. I'll wait. This is your point guard and he has the best DReb% on the team. He passes too!

Alfred - 76-77 Bobby Jones - My favorite Bobby Jones, shoots 57%. 100 D, 6.3% stocks, and will get some assists.

Offense - Shaq! Luka! Actually, he should hope Luka spends more time passing instead of shooting, but Luka! Dirk is a very clever backup for Shaq! There are a lot of low minute guys with good eggs, like Ty Jerome, Chris Andersen, Brandan Wright, Amir Johnson and Taj Gibson. This team should score a lot of points.

?Defense - Shaq and Jones are pretty solid in the middle. Luka can hide behind Derrick White. This defense is not elite, but they aren't a pushover either.

Rebounding - The starters are 32.3 OReb% and 93.0 DReb%. Not the best, not the worst. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness. It was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair. Sorry.

Assists - The starting group has an assist% of 82.8, that's pretty darned good, very few people go there any more, I like it!

Midge score - 3 - This team has my favorite Bobby Jones, my favorite Dirk Nowitzki, and my favorite Ty Jerome. This is a good team. I assume hit the one in the middle means pass the ball to Shaq. Can we just punch him in the face? Then run?

Grid-Running Gremlins

14. kammeyer - James Harden, Scottie Pippen, Ivica Zubac, Bill Walton, Paul Pierce, Paul Millsap, Deandre Ayton, Kermit Washington, Yao Ming, Grant Hill, Charles Oakley, Derrick Rose

Batman - 18-19 James Harden.....even though he won't play as well here as in the NBA, he will still pile up the numbers. Scary good. Honestly though, can you just shave already, I'm so tired of the beard.

Robin - 94-95 Scottie Pippin - Isn't Pippin the ultimate Robin, playing next to that somewhat competitive dude in Chicago?

Alfred - 76-77 Bill Walton - Some people complain about his rather pedestrian eggs and his turnovers, but I prefer to focus on his 93 D, his 40.9 CReb% and his 5.0 Block%.

Offense - I think this team will have some games where they just don't score efficiently since Harden, Pippen, and Walton all have subpar eggs for Savage, but in the game where Harden is cooking and Ivica Zubac is doing some work it's going to be nice. I think Zubac will be an important part of this offense.

Defense - The starting lineup is 85 D. The starting DReb% is 114.9%. You had better make the first shot.

Rebounding - The CReb% of the starting five is 158.4. Not. Bad. At. All.

Assists - Maybe we've found a weakness...(checking). Nope, the assist% for the starting five is 70.7%.

Midge score - One, which is the number of league titles kammeyer won in Savage XXI. He might just do it again.

Home Alone

15. tarheel1991 - Kevin Garnett, Dwyane Wade, Andre Drummond, Derrick Favors, Russell Westbrook, John Henson, Myles Turner, Ed Davis, Nicolas Batum, Buddy Hield, Tobias Harris, Steven Adams

Batman - If I don't say 16-17 Russell Westbrook he will come to my house and punch me in the face. Just for you Russell, I live in Bangor, Maine.
I look at his 47.6% eggs and think that's not very good (sorry Russell, I don't mean it), but he lights me up time after time.

Robin - Can you give the much desired position of Robin to someone who plays less than 24 minutes per game? (Consults lawyers) I will allow it. 06-07 Dwyane Wade - Every time I see his name I want to go ask his mom why? WHY? Dwayne Dwyane packs a whole lot of stuff into those 23.5 minutes per game.

Alfred - Westbrook is kind of a Batman and Alfred all rolled into one. Is this eval being graded? No? I'm gonna say 16-17 Russell Westbrook. It's not everyday you see 27.2 DReb% and 36.7 assist% coming from a point guard. He has 2.1 steal% too!

Offense - Against my teams this offense will be elite. Against other teams this team will go wherever Russell Westbrook takes them.

Defense - I see 28 minutes of Kevin Garnett with 100 D and 23.5 minutes of D. Wade (see what I did there?) with 100 D and a little bit of John Henson and Derrick Favors and then a lot of mediocrity. I will not call this defense elite.

Rebounding - With Andre Drummond (48.7 CReb%) and Westbrook (32.1% at PG) and some Favors (35.6% at SF) and Ed Davis (32.5% at SF) this team has some rebounding chops.

Passing - There really isn't much to see here aside from Westbrook and Wade. I am going to assume that Wade will start at SG and backup Westbrook at PG.

Midge score - 176 - Buddy Hield hit 176 three pointers at 43%. I think this team is going to need all of them.

Daytona Beach, FL

10. lukemikk - Dwight Howard, Shawn Marion, Manu Ginobili, Nikola Vucevic, Fat Lever, Al Horford, Onyeka Okongwu, Amen Thompson, Walt Bellamy, Tyler Herro, Gary Payton II, Blake Griffin

Batman - 09-10 Dwight Howard - 61% eggs, 100 D, CReb% of 40.9, 4.7 block%.....that's a lot of good stuff.

Robin - I think I'm going to go with 18-19 Nikola Vucevic here. He has 28 usage with 55% eggs, 38.5 CReb%, and 14.6 assist%. Having two bigs with good usage and good eggs puts a lot of pressure on defenses that only have one good defensive big.

Alfred - I will say 05-06 Shawn Marion. He is very clean and a good butler should be very clean.

Offense - Howard and Vucevic is a good place to start. Tyler Herro keeps the offense humming from the bench. (Editor's note: I have been informed that Tyler Herro will be starting. You can't be right 100% of the time.) (Editor's note #2: I have now been told that a certain manager has decided after all that Tyler Herro will, in fact, be coming off the bench and that Manu "bat catcher" Ginobili will be starting. Who says Midge can't change the world? A certain manager has also informed me that he might change his starting lineup every time I edit this. Stay tuned!) If a bat gets loose in the arena he can send in Manu Ginobili.

Defense - Dwight Howard! Oh yeah! Amen Thompson! Give me an amen brother! The Matrix should help. The others are.....did I mention that I think Margot Robbie is pretty?

Rebounding - The weighted rebounding numbers are 35.6% for OReb% and 101.8% for the DReb%. Very nice!

Passing - At first glance it doesn't look special, but the weighted average is 63.8% so I guess it will be okay.

Midge score - 170 - Fat Lever weighs 170 pounds. I find that a bit disappointing for some reason. (Editor's note: "Fat" is short for Lafayette. Quit being stupid Midge.) When you win a Pulitzer Prize how do they contact you? Do they call? Do they text? I need to know!

Porter Jr.

11. dbkc - Chris Paul, Hassan Whiteside, Walker Kessler, Michael Porter, Zion Williamson, Carlos Boozer, Tracy McGrady, Otto Porter, Samuel Dalembert, Terry Tyler, Cedric Maxwell, Lauri Markkanen

Batman - He's awful short to be a Batman, but I'm gonna say 08-09 Chris Paul. Maybe wearing some Batman boots will make him look taller.

Robin - I'm going with Chris Paul here. Point guards are sidekicks, right?

Alfred - I have to say Chris Paul, he has a nice scoring punch, will add a lot of assists, good rebounds for a point guard, excellent defense, and a 3.5 steal%. Plus he sells insurance on the side.

Offense - I'm not sure how much I like this offense. Chris Paul is great, but his eggs are below 53%. Walker Kessler seems to be the only low usage, super high eggs guy on the team, and he can only play about 20 minutes per game. There are some guys with good, but not great eggs like Otto Porter Jr., Michael Porter Jr. and Carlos Boozer Porter Jr., but will it be enough?

Defense - Chris Paul is terrific. Kessler is good for 20 minutes. Hassan Whiteside's DReb% will help the defense. I'm honestly not impressed by the defense.

Rebounding - Andre Drummond is great! However, he is not on this team. Hassan Whiteside is 45% CReb%, I like that. He can only play about 30 minutes per game. Kessler is 36% CReb%.....for 20 minutes. Carlos Boozer is 36.7% CReb%, but his D rating is 39 so will there be any missed shots? Looking at all the numbers, I think he rebounding will be fine, I would be more worried about the defense.

Passing - Chris Paul is great! Who is the backup point guard? Is there one? Is it 97% worth of Tracy McGrady at 17.6%? As long as Paul is in the game the passing will be okay, but I think there will be some penalties to pay when Paul sits. Oops, I just saw that Zion Williamson is 98% and 22%. He is the backup for Chris Paul. If Sparky plays Zion, TMac and Boozer together the bench passing will suffice. I don't think I have ever used the word suffice before.

Midge score - 21 - Samuel Dalembert played 82 games and 2,197 minutes and had 21 assists. How is that possible? Aren't they supposed to teach you how to share in kindergarten? Do they not have kindergarten in Haiti?

Rick Grimes

23. 24kpyrite - Tim Duncan, Dennis Rodman, Gary Payton, Pau Gasol, Chris Boucher, Anthony Edwards, Kyle Lowry, Chris Webber, Scottie Barnes, Paul Pressey, Anthony Mason, Arvydas Sabonis

Batman - 02-03 Tim Duncan - I could say the best player on this team is Paul Pressey and the expression on Timmy's face would not change. The efficiency isn't great, but he will score some points. 39 minutes per game of 97 D. 35.1 CReb%. 13.5 assist%. 4.4 block%. He does a lot.

Robin - 99-00 Gary Payton - 42 minutes per game of 90 D, good rebounding for a point guard, good assists, good steals, but he is not efficient on offense. I get the feeling that defense is supposed to carry this team.

Alfred - 91-92 Dennis Rodman - There it is again, 40 minutes per game of 90 D, with 48.7 CReb% to boot. Defense and rebounding is good, right?

Offense - The offense isn't great, but you don't need as much offense when the other team doesn't score a lot.

Defense - The backbone of the defense is obviously Duncan, Rodman and Payton. Scottie Barnes and Anthony Mason will help. The starting five averages 87.4 on defense.

Rebounding - Having Rodman out there for 40 mpg will make the rebounding solid. Chris Webber will help crashing the offensive glass. Having Scottie Barnes and his CReb% of 24.4 at guard is a plus. If your son is named Scott do you call him Scottie if you want him to play in the NBA and Scotty if you want him to be a park ranger?

Passing - Led by Payton with 27.2% and a bunch of people in the teens the passing will be fine. The starting lineup is at 85.1%. Hopefully that will help gather some eggs.

Midge score - 1,530 - That is the number of rebounds to be rounded up by Dennis Rodman, the small forward. I don't have any children named Scott, but if I did I would be proud of him if he wanted to be a park ranger.

Mystics & Statistics

13. riftonapple - Karl Malone, Oscar Robertson, Andrei Kirilenko, Brandon Clarke, Nic Claxton, Joakim Noah, Jalen Williams, Andrew Bogut, Obi Toppin, Donte DiVincenzo, LaMarcus Aldridge, Toni Kukoc

Batman - 90-91 Karl Malone - Not the best Malone, but he will score some points and grab some rebounds, get some assists and be out there battling for 40 minutes per game.

Robin - 62-63 Oscar Robertson - Drafting Oscar in Savage is pretty much like drafting two players with one pick. He played 44 minutes per game, 80 D, 58.8% TS%, 20.1 CReb% at point guard, 22.7% assists. He will pile up the numbers, game after game, team after team.

Alfred - I'm going with Joakim Noah here and you can't stop me. 100 D, best OReb% on the team, passes like a point guard and speaks fluent French. Did you know that his mother was Swedish?

Offense - Three headed guard with Oscar, JDub and Donte DiVincenzo. Then there are four guys playing tag team basketball at small forward, with Brandon Clarke and Nic Claxton bringing the eggs and Andrei Kirilenko bringing a 9.1 stock% to the party. Should be fine.

Defense - Do I need to start quoting Charles Dickens again?

Rebounding - Something like 37/88 for the starters. I could give you exact numbers, but I'm not gonna do it. I'm just not.

Passing - The starting lineup is 77.5%. That is good. See? I can still add when I want to.

Midge score - 1,665 - That is the total number of free throws shot by Karl Malone and Oscar Robertson on this team.