Posted by Lewb on 4/1/2022 12:03:00 AM (view original):
10 years from now and a cop stops you on the New Jersey Turnpike...Here’s how the conversation goes..,Cop says “Where you going”?
Your reply-“The football game”
“Who’s playing?”
”The Giants”
“Get out of the car...You’re under arrest...You can’t say “Giants” anymore...Tall people are offended...You must say “Elongated People”...By the way, who are they playing?”
”The Saints”...
”Another violation..,Atheists are offended”...Where are they playing?“
”In the Meadowlands...Where the Devils play”
“You’re under arrest...Can’t say Devils...Religious people are offended”
”By the way, what are you gonna eat and drink at the game?”
“A hot dog with some sauerkraut and maybe a nip of Jameson to wash it down”
”Double violation...Can’t say sauerkraut because the Germans are offended and you can’t say “nip” because the Japanese are offended”...I’ll give you one more chance sir...What kind of music were you listening to when I pulled you over?”
“My favorite-Doo-wop”..,
”Out of the car sir...You’re going downtown...Can’t say Doo-wop because the Italians are offended by the word “wop”..,
And it goes on and on...
Can’t say Vikings because the Norwegians get ******...can’t say Anaheim Angels because agnostics get upset...Can’t say Chicago Bears or Detroit Lions because PETA gets made...Can’t say Cardinals because the Audobon Society gets in an uproar...Can’t say Jets because pilots get miffed...Minnesota Twins have to change their name because triplets are ******...San Francisco is no longer the Giants because midgets are hot under the collar...etc...
1. I agree with changing the name, but Guardians is not a good name and I prefer Blues.
2. But this is a really funny, inspired rant, I must admit.
3. Except, as an Italian American I have to tell you that " wop" really is an offensive word, the closest equivalent to the "n" word for Italians. It is short for "Without Official Papers" and suggests that our immigrant ancestors- my great-grandparents, whom I knew and loved, had no right to be in America.