Posted by dBKC on 6/19/2020 6:32:00 PM (view original):
Lol I know right?!? Yet for some reason I still listen to every episode. Jokes on me

..I think this was back when Pennsylvania still owned the Clippers, so no surprises there.

Posted by ashamael on 6/19/2020 7:28:00 PM (view original):

..I think this was back when Pennsylvania still owned the Clippers, so no surprises there.

I know I've said this a few times, but I feel like it's important to say once again:

Oh.
My.
Dear.
God.

[1:00-2:00]

Camera opens up to the crowd cheering wildly at Barclays Center. Gradually the camera backs up and the lens widens to see the entirety of the scene. We pass over multiple TV booths set up. For the first time ever, the NBA has allowed multiple media companies to attend the draft live. We first see the ESPN table where Bill Simmons and Jalen Rose seem to be laughing at something Magic Johnson just said. Behind them is a television screen featuring the ESPN studio with Rachel Nichols, Zach Lowe, Brian Windhorst, and Kendrick Perkins. Another television goes live to Colin Cowherd and Michelle Beadle in their studio. Beside the televisions, Doris Burke, Marv Albert and Bill Walton are putting in their earpieces and getting ready to interview the draftees. To the right of the table is the TNT crew, Chuck, Shaq, Kenny, and Ernie. Kenny is overheard saying, “You know, I could’ve been in this draft as a player too, but I’m scared of being cloned” as Chuck and Shaq catch each others’ eye and burst out laughing. To the left is a booth where Stephen A. Smith and Skip Bayless appear to be shouting at each other as a bewildered Sage Steele helplessly looks on. On the bottom right of our screen, we see a snapshot into the parking lot where Nate Duncan, Danny Larue, and special guest Ben Taylor are setting up to record a live podcast from their Honda Civic. Behind the First Take booth is a door and a hand reaches out from under the camera to open it.

-

Narrator: Thanks to groundbreaking 1999 technology, every player in NBA history is available in one draft, every legendary player in their absolute prime. The tournament will consist of 5 seasons, which will all be played at once by using 5G technology, despite protests from Kyrie Irving. The NBA world is buzzing with speculation and debate. The world will finally know the answer to countless barbershop debates, thanks to: THE SAVAGE DRAFT!

-
-
I will post our green room preview (Some of dB's best work), and our war room preview later today.

[2:00-4:00]

We enter an enormous green room with more players than we can count.

Paul Arizin marvels at all of the bigger and stronger players, jaw dropped.

Michael Jordan is throwing quarters with his bodyguard. MJ turns to the camera and says “I’ll bet on anything. I tried to see who wanted to bet me that I wouldn’t go number one overall….no takers” as he smugly grins at the camera.

Paul Pierce is seen asking where the bathroom is.

In a sea of colorful draft day suits, one suit stands out above the rest. Craig Sager. He’s holding a microphone and asking a young Brad Daughtrey his thoughts on the tournament: “I feel good. My agent thinks I could be a 4th round pick. A little nervous that I might slip to the 5th round but hey, that just means I’ll have better teammates, right?”

Even the reporters have reverted to their physical prime as well, as James Harden seems to have noticed as he tries to “draw contact” with a young Doris Burke.

Shaq is spotted filming a commercial in the corner: “IcyHot: find us in CVS or read about us in the forum banner ads”

Dozens of players are still working their way into the green room, all hounded by ravenous fans in the hallways.

A young woman stops J.R. Smith to ask for an autograph. He asks if she’s trying to get the pipe.

An inconspicuous John Stockton walks by the fans unnoticed.

Gilbert Arenas is being questioned by security at a metal detector.

Allen Iverson is seen arguing with security about how he should be on the list. “I can dribble a football!”

LeBron seems distracted as his mother talks to his former teammate Delonte West in the corner. Lance Stephenson is whispering something in his ear.

Ahmad Rashad asks a general question to the green room: “We’re doing a contest. Who wants to be considered for our ‘best dressed’ segment?”

Dennis Rodman speaks up: “Wait a minute. I’m the only one in a dress.”

Michael Beasley is sitting next to Anthony Tolliver, caressing his knee.

Patrick Ewing is sweating profusely, although he doesn’t seem to be nervous.

Tim Duncan is patiently waiting for the event to commence, wearing a Dockers button up, high-waisted Wrangler jeans, and a crisp white pair of Steph Curry 2s.

Paul Pierce is now in a wheelchair.

The Camera pans to a restaurant at the back of the green room.

Steph Curry is seen flippin’ burgers with a big hat on his head.

Russell Westbrook is snickering to himself at the cupcake window display.

Kevin Garnett is eating a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios.

Giannis is at the table next to him, a plethora of finished smoothie cups are strewn over the floor.

Jason Kidd drops his drink for no apparent reason.

A group of janitors enters to clean up the spill.

Wilt says to them: “Hey! Richie! Bob! Rudy! How you guys been?”

Hassan Whiteside asks “Yo Wilt, you know these guys?”

Wilt replies “yeah we go back a ways - I used to play against them”

The camera follows Craig Sager as he makes his way from the green room to the war room. Bill Walton is seen staring in awe at Sager’s suit, as he puts a pill bottle back in his pocket. “Whoa.”

Shaq is spotted filming a commercial in the corner: “IcyHot: find us in CVS or read about us in the forum banner ads”

Patrick Ewing is sweating profusely, although he doesn’t seem to be nervous.

LOL! Great stuff guys.

Posted by mptrey on 6/21/2020 7:52:00 PM (view original):

Shaq is spotted filming a commercial in the corner: “IcyHot: find us in CVS or read about us in the forum banner ads”

Patrick Ewing is sweating profusely, although he doesn’t seem to be nervous.

LOL! Great stuff guys.

Narrator: “The league has 24 teams. Each team has a veteran owner who doubles as the GM and coach. And each owner is every bit as quirky and unique as the players they are vying over.”

-

[4:00-5:40]

We enter to a scene of 24 owners in a large draft room. Each owner has their own desk and they are all lined up in draft order with dh555 at the desk nearest the camera and benhoidal on the far end of the room. Yellow legal pads and notecards are flying everywhere. There is a huge television screen in the front of the room broadcasting the draft live. The camera pans over all the owners, lingering on a few. dh555 is sitting behind his desk in full Philadelphia 555 gear, whiskey glass full and holding two phones as he fields calls for the first pick. We hear him say, “No Ben, I won’t trade you the first pick, sorry...I KNOW that before the lotto I said that it’s a balanced draft and that any spot can win, but that doesn’t mean I have to trade th- look I have to go.” The next desk has a name plate with five or six names crossed out, replaced by the name copernicus scribbled in black marker. kinoa1 is sitting on his chair, feet up on his desk, relaxed as can be. No note cards, no prep visible of any kind. We pan over to pexetera who has a long list of available players on his desk with all the three point shooters crossed out. Next to him is dBKC with a mountain of notecards splayed in every direction. He is frantically scribbling something down on the next card. It appears to be lyrics? A little further down the line is robusk, who somehow has managed to bring 6 computers to the owner room. He is dressed like Neo from the Matrix and as the camera zooms in on his setup, we see different algorithms running up and down each computer in green. The camera widens and next we see mptrey who keeps shaking his head and muttering to himself. The camera pans to seapilots, who has decided to give up his spot at the war room to longtallbrad who looks sleepy. At the very end of the row we see ashamael and benhoidal. Somehow we know there is a little tension between the two even though we don’t know why or even how we know. Ash is dusting off his old notes that haven’t been used in years. “I taught them everything they know...but it’s not everything I know…” Ben is in full new dad mode with a brand new beard and a look on his face that says he hasn’t slept in weeks. He has just hung up his phone and next to it we see pages upon pages of lists written in chicken scratch. He catches the camera on him and winks.



As always, comments, additions, and revisions are welcome!