i think i know the answer already, but were you ever a club-goer in your youth?

Yes.  That's where I developed my "Men only dance if they're hoping for sex" theory.  Real dudes don't like to dance.  We just do it in hopes of nailing the chick because chicks like to dance.   I became a bar guy after I got married. 

I've heard of no problems in Ford but I'm pretty sure I've seen them pop-up with 8, 10, 12 openings.   Anytime a world has that many openings at season's end, there's a problem.  Sometimes it's as simple as a handful of people switching jobs, losing interest in HBD or just moving to a more competitive world.  Most times, it's a bigger issue like you mentioned.  My guess is the very experienced/new owner trades are simple "abuse the n00b" deal at best or alias issues at worst.  My recommendation:   Be part of the 8, 10, 12 openings when it rolls.   If there's a history of such actions and an apathetic response, it isn't likely to change unless you recruit a dozen owners to join you.

If crump and iaiaiaiaiaiaiaian end up meeting in the WS in MG, will "God Save the Queen" be played before every game in lieu of "The Star Spangled Banner"?

And if so, will trop think they're singing about him and throw a hissy fit?

This is HBD.  They don't sing songs before they sim games.  Duh.

Do you know this for sure?  Have you hung around the WIS data center in Cincinnati at 3am, 11am, or 7pm ET and listened in?  Wasn't kyleboon let go because he couldn't hit the high notes anymore?

Does the death of Ralph Houk complete the "death happens in threes" pattern for the Yankees?  Or should we expect Yogi or Whitey to go next?

Yes,  I am 100% positive.  They sang when HBD was released.   That was the last time.   They've been too busy denying stupid suggestions since then to sing again.

I don't really relate Houk to the Yanks.  He's Detroit to me.   I think somebody is gonna kill Joba if he doesn't start pitching better.   Or AJ might kill himself.  One of those will complete the pattern.

Can we argue that Joba's career death is the third? Or, maybe the first?

His career isn't dead.   He actually does pretty well in most outings except for three pitches.  Two are singles and the third is a homer.  But the other 20 are solid.

Gawdamn. 79-83. Can you make sure the next owner of my Whiny ******* can at least eat a bowl of cereal without having to have someone else hold the spoon?

No.  SCU is continuing the fine tradition of mediocrity that you started.

While Pavano is listed at 34, he's really only 30 in baseball years since he spent 4 years stealing 40m from the Yankees.  So, technically, he's in his prime.